thoughtformed | [Video message]

[The Doctor is sitting on the chair next to the TARDIS control console, bouncing a rubber ball against the floor and catching it again and again. He glances sideways at the camera, making a noise between his lips and his teeth.]

It's hard to know what to say, isn't it? After something like that. A lot of people hurt, or scared. A lot of people out of work because the buildings they work in were wrecked. Even school's down to half-days while they repair the damage.

But I can tell you this. Whatever kind of trouble we go through, we can all go on. Every last one of you. You are all -- we are all -- amazing people. Trolls, humans, Time Lords, assorted other species... we're resilient. Got depth nobody can guess at, not even ourselves. I've seen you all do it before, and it has been... incredible. A privilege, really.

And I think, right now, that might be what you all need to hear. We're going to make it. We're going to make it because you are all so strong, so astounding... such brilliant people.

I might not always be happy to be here, but I'm always proud to be one of you.

[The camera shuts off. Then, after a moment, it turns on again, with him crouching in front of it, squinting into the lens.]

And because of that, by the way. When the school does go back to a full day and my classes start again. Because you are such fantastic people... all the homework I assigned for Monday is still going to be due.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

All the way down. It was just spikes at first but—

[He turns his back to the Doctor and takes his shirt off]

[The Doctor whistles, and after a moment the sonic screwdriver began a second scan. The stethoscope came into play again, too, testing a few spots for... presumably, something. As he works, he mutters, a continual stream of skeptical observations cut off in the middle.]

All right. Cause for concern, I'll give you that. Still, if it's... yeah, that's what I thought... although... all right, that's promising... that's not so promising...could be worse, all things considered... now, if it's a retrovirus, that would be one thing, but you'd think... nah, can't be, the genetic material wouldn't be compatible, would it? Has to be an actual introduction of... oh, there we are, that's the ticket!

[He stepped back and cleared this throat.]

[Ben puts his shirt back on and turns to face him.]

So? Ever seen anything like it?

Like it, yes. Exactly like it, no.

[He steepled his fingers, frowning, and pressed his hands against his lips for a moment.]

Your body's being slowly contaminated or converted by foreign material. All along your spinal column, so there's no question of removing it. That's the bad news.

The good news is, I know two different ways to slow it down. It's pretty slow as it is, so we might even be able to stop it dead. But it's going to take a bit of work on your part.

... look, I have a pretty good idea of what this is turning me into, I'll try anything.

Well then! Nothing simpler. You'll want to make a grocery list. First off, acne medication. A lot of it. Especially any brand that says it's got antibiotics in. Every time you shower, put some on a back-scrubber and work it in back there. It might do something, or it might not -- I'll check up every week or two -- but it's got a decent shot.

Second. No more ice cream, no more soda. Sorry. Sugar slows your body down, and right now we want it wide awake.

Third... tea. Drink lots of tea. No cream, no sugar, just black tea, at least one full pot every day. Tea's brilliant.

Fourth. Here's where you're going to need to write things down.

[The Doctor had automatically dropped into lecture-mode, reflexive even before he'd started teaching.]

[Ben wasn't entirely sure he believed the guy, but he really had nothing to lose. He grabbed a notepad and a pen, taking a second to remember how to write— he hadn't written anything for months— and then he turned back to the Doctor]

Right. Acne medication, no sugar, lots of black tea? ... you're not just making this up, right?

None of it. Doctor's not just something I decided to call myself, you know. Got my M.D. at the University of Edinburgh.

[In the 1800s...]

Also, a degree in cheesemaking, but that's beside the point. Look. Acne medication with antibiotics is specifically designed to soak in under the skin and break down anything that's not supposed to be growing there. Obviously this isn't acne, but it's worth trying.

Sugar... sugar sort of gloms on to anything else you eat, stops you from getting the full benefits of it on time.

Tea, now, tea's got tannins, antioxidants, all sorts of things that make your body wake up and pay attention. Hot black tea, bet drink there is. Personally I like the milk and sugar, but those muck up the chemical reactions.

[Pause for breath, turn, pace, raise one finger in lecturing pose.]

The last bit, now, that's a special diet. I'm going to give you two lists. You make sure you eat at least two things off each list every day.

First list: probiotics! Beef up all the little microbes native to your insides, make them shove out the invaders. Yoghurt. very important, yoghurt, lots of that. Red beans. Soy sauce. Kimchi, sauerkraut, just about anything pickled really. Dark chocolate, the bitter kind, special exception to the no sugar rule. Berries. And more tea.

Second list! Antioxidants! They grab on to all sorts of free radicals and things you don't want bumping around in your insides, rather like sugar in reverse. Garlic, fresh garlic, that's a good one. Hope you don't mind the breath.

Berries again. Yams. Carrots. Eggplant. Every kind of green thing your parents told you to eat that you always hated eating, spinach and kale and things like that. Chard, if you can find chard.

Bok choi, maybe, especially if you can get pho. Are there any Vietnamese restaurants in town? Pho would be brilliant for this. Apples, kiwis, red grapes, any kind of citrus. Especially limes, lime juice in the pho, see? Oh, and mushrooms, especially funny-shaped Japanese mushrooms, those are exactly what you need. Tea again, of course, see what I told you?

Last but not least, chicken soup, piping hot. Best medicine there is, cure-all on twenty-five different planets. You can never go wrong with chicken soup.

Oh, and bananas. Separate list, bananas. Third list. A banana a day could be very important.

[He glances over.]

Did you get all that?

Edited 2013-03-15 19:50 (UTC)

[Ben tried to keep up, but he got completely lost at some point between sauerkraut and chocolate. He still made a valiant effort to note everything down, which results in a barely legible grocery list with the word 'banana' scribbled at the bottom.

By the time the Doctor is done talking, Ben looks confused and even a little dizzy.]

... uh.

Sort of?

[The Doctor peera over his shoulder, makes a 'hmmm' sound, and swipea the list for a few additional revisions.

Unfortunately, his own handwriting is something of a mess as well.]

There we are. So. Every day, at least two items from each list, one pot of tea, one banana; one acne scrub. More of each wouldn't hurt, but I want to see if that level has any effect. If the acne medication doesn't do anything -- or if the yoghurt does too much -- we'll fiddle with it. I'll check back in two weeks, unless you notice a change between now and then.

... okay. I guess... A diet seems too simple— not that I'm not thankful, because I am. I just.

I guess this is hard to take in? Unexpected.

Well, I don't exactly have a license to practice here on the island. No point in prescribing anything when a chemist wouldn't fill the order. Besides, nobody likes taking pills. Easier this way. This

[He taps Ben's arm]

This right here is your best weapon. Your own body. And there's nothing wrong with it, strictly speaking. Just have to get it running a higher octane than the invade-y bits.

[He glances down for a moment.]

Mind you, I can't make any guarantees. And it's not likely to reverse the change. Just slow down the spread. I'll keep doing tests, see if I can find anything better. Not that there's much out there better than black tea and Vietnamese cuisine, but I can try.

[Ben nods, doing his best to be totally okay with everything]

Right, okay. I'll do this, like I said it's not like I got anything to lose, and this is better than what I got back home. Doctor Glass couldn't do anything but give me a puzzled look and hope it went away— not her fault, though. She's doing her best, no one was prepared for any of this. It's even more insane when I look at it from here and—

[he seems to realize he's babbling and stops himself]

Sorry. Anyway, thank you.

You're welcome. Least I can do, really.

[He tucks away glasses, stethoscope, and screwdriver in quick succession.]

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