(no subject)

[notdogmatic]

Ikari Shinji.

Because you are an important person to me, and because you have an attractive figure, I would like to escort you to the upcoming dance.

While, in the absence of familiar faces, I am uncertain what manner of competition I would be facing, I would like to assure you of several reasons why I am a desirable date.

1) Even when events beyond my control forced me into a hostage situation, you were not among those I took captive. This is because of my high regard for you, and also aesthetic appreciation of you.

2) I am financially secure, and would be capable of providing material comforts and entertainments, if there are any that you desire.

3) I have a manly aroma.

4) I only narrowly lost a beauty competition with Alois, who is known to be extremely good-looking as well. (This is something all three of us have in common.)

5) My understanding of humor is progressing.

6) My beats are relatively ill.

Additionally, I am familiar with the concept of 'playing hard to get,' and I can assure you that I will be both ardent and persistent if you wish me to continue demonstrating why we should attend together. I have advisors to appraise me of any nuances of courtship I might overlook, so I can confidently state that I will be 'smooth' as well.

Comments

[uneulogized]

Link a picture.

<--

[notdogmatic]

[uneulogized]

Hm.

[uneulogized]

Describe your manly aroma in ten words or less.

[notdogmatic]

Bergamot, lavender, sandalwood, civet, ambergris, clove, and leather.

[chosenthird]

...Manly aroma?

[he's a bit shocked. give him a moment]

[notdogmatic]

Yes. Sugar Daddy Cologne.

[chosenthird]

That...

[no, he's gonna drop that line of conversation for now]

Are you asking me out...?

[notdogmatic]

That's correct.

[badnewsboy]

Please remember that cologne does not make anything manly, necessarily.

[chosenthird]

I didn't think he was talking about cologne!

[badnewsboy]

You've suddenly turned this into a scandal!

[ohmycod]

i think this is more than the shrimp can handle

[chosenthird]

Shut up!! It's not!

[ohmycod]

oh so youre gonna say yes
say yes shrimp
you might get to mackerel out

[fuckincakewake]

ill beats greater than or less than daveys sick beats?
i think another rap off is in order

[notdogmatic]

I would be pleased to participate in a rematch.

[fuckincakewake]

so smooth operator
can u still sneak a dance in w me too?

[callbacks]

oh hell yes
im not drinking the punch this time either
these jams are gonna be fucking chronic

[ohmycod]

when you porpoiseition someone like this you should send em a picture of your butt

[notdogmatic]

... I believe human and troll courtship rituals may differ on this point.

I will investigate.

[ohmycod]

no
ask rox
shell agree with me on this

[badnewsboy]

It needs more mack. You're definitely lacking mack.

[notdogmatic]

How do I obtain mack?

[badnewsboy]

You can't obtain it, you just have to have it.