[ 0011010100110011 ]

[notvictorious]

Hey Conrad! Thanks SO MUCH for calling the cops on my girlfriend last night! I know she outweighs you by about 20 pounds (not calling her fat, calling you pitifully skinny) but that was SERIOUSLY the only way you know how to handle a drunk customer? In a bar?? It never occurred to you to call your friend ie me who was there earlier, and could come back and get her if it saved him the bail money of BUSTING HER OUT OF JAIL. What the hell!

Messed up. Maybe I'll take my business to Lau's. Also why do you have so many pinche guys at your bar??




TO: Lydia
SUBJ: Last night

Okay, actually yeah I do wanna say something. That was messed up last night! I don't care if you wanna get faced okay, I'm best friends with Nathan, it's fine.


TO: Lydia
SUBJ: re; Last night

But can you not DITCH ME in a crowded bar to hang out with other guys? That's kind of part of being a girlfriend to somebody, you don't run off with random bros. I wouldn't ditch you for random girls.


TO: Lydia
SUBJ: re; re; Last night

I'm sorry I took off, but you weren't paying attention anyway and I'm kinda pissed you picked that moment after you were in JAIL to say you loved me, cause you shouldn't say it if you don't mean it.


TO: Lydia
SUBJ: re; re; re; Last night

Wait did you just post a video


TO: Lydia
SUBJ: re; re; re; re; Last night

WHAT THE HELL LYDIA

Comments

[reanimated]

I TAKE ONE FUCKING NIGHT OFF

WHAT THE SHIT CONRAD

[reanimated]

YOU NEVER ARREST DRUNK GIRLS

THEY ARE GOD'S GIFT TO ME

[notvictorious]

I KNOW.

[reanimated]

Only had the balls to pull a stunt like that while I was gone, CLASS ACT CONRAD

[nicevampireguy]

An unruly customer is still an unruly customer.

[nicevampireguy]

She wouldn't have learned her lesson if I'd let you take care of her.

And maybe YOU shouldn't leave your girlfriend ALONE and DRUNK OUT OF HER MIND at a bar, HUH? EVER THINK OF THAT?!

[reanimated]

Oh Jesus. IT'S A BAR, CONRAD! IT'S FULL OF PISS DRUNK SADSACKS! Define unruly. What was she doing, taking her top off and dancing on tables? Cos where I'm from we don't call that unruly, we call it a FUCKING BLESSING

[notvictorious]

And who's the pendejo that should've cut her off?

[notvictorious]

You're a BARTENDER! Not her dad, genius! You don't "teach lessons," you serve alcohol!

[notvictorious]

I have now officially bailed two people out of New Moore prisons. Maybe I should get one of those cards they can stamp. 10th bailout is free.

[reanimated]

Nah man don't, that'll only encourage me

text

[totesadorbz]

I love u. I totes mean it for realsies :( when u ignore me it makes me think you hate me. r we over? :'(

[reanimated]

Look let me handle him, bartender to bartender. I'll have you know it's a serious and nuanced profession, and we have a certain level of communication that conflict resolution works best at.

[reanimated]

Only joking about that last part but seriously go focus on Lydia.

text

[notvictorious]

No. And I wasn't ignoring you, I just didn't want to talk about it. I wouldn't have bailed you out if I wanted to break up. It just was a hell of a time for you to say it.

[notvictorious]

Yeah before she makes any more videos about me.

[reanimated]

Look at it this way, it's almost like you're famous!

[notvictorious]

Famously bad relationships, that's something.

[reanimated]

Oi c'mon now. You want to talk about how supposedly terrible your relationship is, you do it over drinks (NOT AT THE PHONY, CLEARLY) not on the network.

[notvictorious]

I can't believe I'd pick Lau's for once.

[reanimated]

I know, it's almost as if you're developing taste!

[atadbiased]

She got arrested.

[reallylovehats]

Whoa.

You're mad.

[notvictorious]

Yeah.

[notvictorious]

I bailed her out.