thoughtformed | (no subject)

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Fuckin' cats. Fuckin' cats everywhere.

Who's responsible for this bullshit? Whose nuts do I have to introduce to their tonsils, eh?

If any of your furry little bastards even scratches me once, or leaves one stupid fucking hair on any of my shit, it's turning into a furry football.

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...Er, I don't exactly know how to break this to you, Rudy...

Shit, did one get in my room?

How would I know if one's in your room?

No, I meant... it's not /just/ cats. It's people too.

What's that? What's that supposed to mean?

I mean that people are turning into cats.

Shut the fuck up.

I'm serious.

...Promise not to freak out if I send something to you?

Is it nude photos?

Yes, of course talk about people turning into cats means I'm about to send you nude photos.

You never know. Never too late at night to ask for nude photos.

Do you have some?

No; haven't sent one of them since I last saw Curtis.

I do have /a/ photo, though. Because something really fucking weird is going on and I'm kind of really freaking out.

Well go on, then. Let's have it. Unless... you haven't gone and gotten yourself all battered up, have you? Cos, I quite like your pretty face.

My face is fine, 'sides from my expression pretty sure.

If you have any brilliant ideas on what to do about this, I'd love to hear them.

Attached: Photo.jpg

Jesus...

So... is it just the ears, then?

Got a tail too.

At least I'm not eating fish out of a tin. I'm normal aside from the ears and tail bullshit. Not like I want them, though.

No claws? No teeth or anything? Abrasive tongue? No stupid shedding or hairballs or any of that nonsense?

... Do you think you can clean your own genitals with your tongue?

...No. To all of that.

I've got extra appendages, not missing ribs.

It's a shame, that. Cos I reckon there'd be quite the line of people willing to pay good money to see that.

You really think I'd whore myself out for money?

Nah. It's not whoring if you're not actually having sex. It's probably closer to being a stripper. And those ladies are proper classy.

Well, I'm not becoming a stripper. End of that.

Dunno what to do about the ears and tail, though. Can't wear a hat; tried, it's too uncomfortable. Half of my clothes don't fit because of the fucking tail being in the way. And I think Lydia's starting to come down with something too.

So what you're telling me is you're walking around with no trousers on and your flatmate is, too? Probably?

Probably.

Like I probably might be wearing a skirt instead of trousers because it would be too awkward to be around Lydia or run errands in just my knickers.

Maybe a little, but I'd be more than happy to escort you round.

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easy_a - 2013-07-28 22:12 (UTC) - Expand

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