video; how not to make an entrance

[accidents]

[ and here we have (1) count 'em one tiny tiny viking clutching like his life depended on it and standing in front of the hospital looking more or less in a state of shock.

Just mumbling to himself. Yeah, the turning-it-on part was an obvious accident ]

Wow. This is totally an okay situation.

Hand me a thing and send me off. I'm fine by the way. I'm not freaking out or anything. Thanks for the mental health consideration. Your pep talk was absolutely no help at all but I appreciate your effort which was not really an effort at all. I can contact a network. Odin help whoever thought this one up. What's a network? Gee, I don't know. You know who's fictional? You're fictional. You freaky white-wearing freak. [ something makes a sound and he jumps a little ]

That's it. I've died. It's not even Valhalla because the world is way too hot heat-wise and things are probably on fire. I'm melting. Lucky me. Fire and brimstone for you, Hiccup. It's okay we upgraded the afterlife to have odorless fire and brimstone for maximum comfort while you suffer a hysterical breakdown. Have fun with your metal abominations. We'll miss you in Berk.

I feel so honored to have this experience.

Comments

[accidents]

Uhhhhh- Hiccup.

[badnewsboy]

Well-met Hiccup. Er, Hiccup of what? Of Midgard?

The sound one makes when they hiccup? Is that you?

[accidents]

Oh. Right. that's ... not a proper introduction. Midgard. Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the third of the Hairy Hooligans. Of Berk. Yeah. Sorry.

Yes. I'm a hiccup.

[badnewsboy]

I've advice to get over your crisis swiftly, Hiccup of Berk, Midgard. There's not much for us if Thor's hammer cannot penetrate the barrier overhead. We're quite stuck.

[accidents]

That's reassuring news sure to make me calm down. Okay. I'll get over this. Ready? [ DEEP BREATH. ] Over it.

[badnewsboy]

Great! Then we can get to the party part.

[accidents]

There's a party part?

[badnewsboy]

There are balloons and everything, and a spread that includes what the mortals call "cocktail wieners."

[accidents]

What's a balloon? ...And that.

[badnewsboy]

Have you not seen them? You're a mortal and all.

[accidents]

Yeah. I haven't seen about ninety nine percent of what I'm surrounded by before so I'm not really sure my mortal-ness is going to help me out with this one.

[badnewsboy]

Well, judging from your manner of dress I'd date you much further then the late eighties. You're not being ironic with your threads, are you?

[accidents]

No. No irony with clothes here. I'm not even sure how you'd do that.

[badnewsboy]

What do you last remember?

[accidents]

Year wise or what I was doing right before I woke up?

[badnewsboy]

Anything and everything that may bring us closer to solving this mystery.

[accidents]

Hmmm-- Well, Yesterday--- or maybe it's still today. Or hundreds of years ago. Annnd I woke up from a semi-comatose state with a missing foot caused by fighting the Red Death at the Dragon's nest...--Might've been a week before. Or a day? You know.. I have zero idea what happened after the big falling into fire part. I don't know how long I was out but unless everyone rode dragons back that had to have been at least a week and a half of sailing. Maybe they did all ride dragons back. Did they bring the remaining boats back?

--Was there boats? How'd they get everybody on a dragon without me? Or maybe they all went in the boat and the dragons carried the boat? That makes more sense-- When was the last time I ate? I feel sick. What day was it even?

Okay. Hold on. I was pretty sure it was still September at least, going by the snow height. Not that I got a good look at it before apparently being out cold again and brought here...

[badnewsboy]

We're given a variety of clues!

Er, first, is your foot okay? Ah, I should say, is your leg okay? Your foot would be missing.

[accidents]

Well it's part of the leg too now that I'm looking at it but yeah, it's fine. Occupational hazard. I got a replacement.

Let's go back to the clues.

[badnewsboy]

Replacement foot. Great! Well, we're certainly off to a great start.

Clue 1) Dragons
Clue 2) Fellows riding dragons
Clue 2.5) Boats?
Clue 3) Dragons on boats?
Clue 4) Sea sickness on said dragon-pulled boat.
Clue 5) The cold is terrible.

Is that all?

[accidents]

Uhhh.

Clue 6: Vikings.

Wait. Where did Clue 4 come from?

[badnewsboy]

Between dragons carrying the boat like a horse tethered to a carriage and your unfortunate stomach churning I'd come to the conclusion of "sea sickness." Or perhaps "air sickness."

Ah, wait. Are you of the old world?

[accidents]

Oh. No. Definitely no air sickness. Sea sickness was only that one time.

Old world? It wouldn't exactly be old to me...

[badnewsboy]

Then I'm from the future.

[accidents]

Okay. You're from the future. I'm not officially behind on everything.