(no subject)

[arachnologist]

Apparently I am all about jobs lately, so:

I'm offering tutoring to anyone who needs it. I'm good with most subjects 6-12, but I specialize in chemistry and biology. My name is Gwen Stacy aaaand I can be reached pretty much whenever. Come talk to me here if you're interested and I can give you a couple of other contact methods.

PS, that carvnival? At least twice as sketchy as Coney Island, and Coney Island? Is pretty sketchy.

( super ultra private as hell text to one Peter Parker: )

I want to talk about Madame Red's. More specifically, about Lau.

Comments

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[everythingspandex]

What about Mister Creepy Chairs and his house of lies and drugs?

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[arachnologist]

The fact that he runs a house of lies and drugs that your roommate is apparently involved in?

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[everythingspandex]

Was. Was apparently involved in. The roommate's a good guy who wants out.

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[arachnologist]

Good guys don't become drug dealers in the first place, Peter!

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[everythingspandex]

They do if they have... ...drugs. Maybe. It's a really complicated situation.

[dontmindmepleasecontinue]

Indeed. It was extraordinarily sketchy.

Then again, that's not really that unusual, here.

[arachnologist]

I know. But that doesn't make me any more inclined to go near it.

Did you go?

[dontmindmepleasecontinue]

A perfectly reasonable precaution.

I did. It was even sketchier from up close.

[arachnologist]

I bet. Details?

[dontmindmepleasecontinue]

Health code violations of all sorts. I definitely wouldn't recommend eating any of the food they had. Many of the carnies seemed to be blind or mute, including the ones running the incredibly rickety - and clichéd, I might say - carnival rides. The animals appeared to be treated very poorly.

Then, of course, there is the mysterious nature of its arrival, up in a single night and replacing a section of forest - which just so happened to reappear or grow back when the carnival vanished. And the question of just who were the carnival workers, anyway - as they certainly haven't been seen on the island before.

Beyond that, there was something else. Nothing I can exactly quantify, but an odd feeling, little things that didn't add up. I might almost have wondered if the carnival were haunted!

[arachnologist]

Oh my god. It's even worse than I thought it was. I'm never going to get used to living on a -- a sentient or magical or whatever island. I can't wrap my mind around how surreal it is, and I live here! God. I live here. On an island possessed by demons or ghosts or -- or something, with pretty much omnipotence to do whatever it wants to--

God. I. Forget it. Forget I said all that. Thank you, for the, uh -- the details. The fact that it's impossible to rule out the carnival being haunted as a legitimate possibility is just -- bizarre.

hello roommate's pretty girlfriend please ignore everything you've ever heard about me

[ricinbeans]

Yeah, but the bumper cars were still dope, so. I mean, how bad could it really be, right?

if you put my superhero boyfriend in danger because of illegal drug activity, so help me.

[arachnologist]

Oh. Wow. Gosh, you're right. I can't argue with dope bumper cars. I totally missed out.

WHAT HE'S FINE HE'S SPIDERMAN HE IS THE DANGER THAT FWIPS IN THE NIGHT

[ricinbeans]

And deep fried cotton candy. Yo, how do they even do that?

[librariansheart]

The carnival certainly wouldn't be my first choice for an outing again, but it wasn't so bad! We had a good time, I think. Eventually. Is Coney Island another carnival? Did it vanish overnight too?

[arachnologist]

Okay, "eventually" isn't really a modifier I want to be placing before "having a good time."

Annnnd no. Not even kind of. It's been a New York fixture for over a century or something like that. Buuuut it's still sketchy. To "preserve local flavor" it's basically been locked into a historical time warp. There haven't been any updates to it in a really long time. I mean, everyone goes to Coney Island as a kid if you live in New York, it's -- it's a staple. It's just what you do. Half the charm is the fact that you're half convinced most of the rides could kill you at any time. So it's -- you know. It's nice.

[badtaste]

Do you think maybe you could look over my lab notebook for chem?? Back home I always studied with Ganke or Katie and they're both way smarter than me so I could use a little help. I'm staying with Peter and his roommate until I get moved out of the ball pit.

Also this one time I went to Coney Island with Ganke and we ate a bunch of Nathan's Hot Dogs and we felt kinda sick afterwards but we went on the Wonder Wheel anyway and it stopped at the top and I got a little dizzy and I almost threw up on the people below us and now I don't like ferris wheels anymore.

[everythingspandex]

I know chemistry too.

[arachnologist]

Did I forget suddenly giving you permission to steal my student, Mr. Parker?

[everythingspandex]

What? No. I'm just saying. I'm in the same apartment he could just. Ask me.
Like literally in the other room.
Right there.
Full of chemistry knowledge.

Well, not in the other room right now but... usually. In the other room.

[badtaste]

Yeah but she's like a real tutor and she offered and everything!!

[everythingspandex]

Alright. I gotcha.

[badtaste]

I kinda figured you were tutoring me in another subject already.

[everythingspandex]

Skateboarding is a very important subject indeed.

[badtaste]

I really appreciate it, dude. I was pretty much sucking at... kickflips before you started helping me out.

[everythingspandex]

No problem. We can keep practicing till we're good enough to go pro.

[badtaste]

It's just been a while since I skateboarded. But it comes back pretty quickly. Like riding a... skateboard.

[arachnologist]

You know what you guys really need practice in?

Metaphors. And also subtlety. That too.

[badtaste]

We really are skateboarding!!

[everythingspandex]

You can't say skateboards are like riding a bike. It just doesn't work.

[arachnologist]

Hey, Miles. Of course I could. If you want, we could even hang out after school a couple days a week and do homework together. I'm at the apartment pretty frequently as it is. I can't believe you got moved to the ball pit. For a place with such strict education standards, you'd think they'd put just a little more thought into housing minors.

Oh, my god. What made you think that was a good idea in the first place?!

[badtaste]

Thanks!! That would be really cool of you. I didn't finish 8th grade before I got pulled here or whatever so I started 9th kinda behind everybody else. I actually sort of need help with a bunch of my classes...

Um... we saw the hot dog eating contest on tv on the 4th of July and we started talking and eventually we ended up deciding that to start our training our first challenge would be to combine our stomachs to eat as many as the guy who got fifth place and then by the time we were old enough to compete one of us could win and we'd split the prize money. But the fifth place guy ate 16 hot dogs that year and by 4 and a half I didn't want to be a competitive eater anymore.

Obviously looking back it wasn't one of our better ideas.

[symbioteclone]

That carnival was definitely sketch as hell. Seriously. Yeugh. I can't believe anyone went.

[arachnologist]

I know, right? Just because a mysterious pop-up carnival appears on the edge of town doesn't mean it's actually a good idea to go. I mean, who buys that? It was probably staffed by supernatural carnies.

[symbioteclone]

Oh, great, more fuel for my nightmares. Thanks a lot.