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NEW MOORMAL MATCHMAKER SERVICE

Leave your name and we'll assign someone for you to attend the formal with. Free of charge but gratutity wouldn't help (we need a new tent). Gau is not participating.

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AS USUAL THE HUMAN "JOKE MASTER" IS STILL RUNNING STRONG, SAYING SHIT THAT DOESN'T HAVE ANY BASIS IN THE REALM CALLED REALITY. WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE TO ME IS SOMEONE ELSE IS TOO SHY TO DO IT HIMSELF! HERE EGBERT, LET ME HELP

Name: JOHN HUMAN EGBERT
Age: THIRTEEN 13 XIII WHY ARE THERE SO MANY WAYS TO SAY THIS HORRIBLE NUMBER
Gender: □Male □Female ☑Other HMMMMMM!
Interested in (tick all that apply): □Men □Women ☑Other SHITTY MOVIES. I MEAN REALLY SHITTY MOVIES. HOOK HIM UP WITH THAT GUY WHO MADE THE SHITTY MOVIE ABOUT THIS ISLAND. THEY'LL REALLY GET ALONG GREAT
Marital Status: □Single □Taken □Married ☑Other I BET HE DOESN'T TAKE MY ADVICE AND GETS MARRIED TO SOME CUT OUT POSTER OF HIS FAVORITE TERRIBLE ACTOR, NIC CAGE
What would you say is your best feature?: LOOKING FOR SOMEONE WHO IS SATISFIED BY EVEN THE MEASLIEST OF MEASLY HUMAN MEALTIME CHUNKS? LOOKING FOR SOMEONE WHO WILL SACRIFICE HIS MEALTIME EXCHANGE PAPERS FOR SUPERFLUOUS ITEMS THAT POSSIBLY POSE NO BENEFIT TO HIM? LOOKING FOR SOMEONE WHO'S SO MASOCHISTIC HE LIKES YOU EVEN IF YOU'RE A FUCKING ASSHOLE? HE'S YOUR KID
What do you look for in a partner?: HE PROBABLY LOOKS FOR YOU TO BE WEARING A STAINED AND SWEATY WIFE BEATER
What is your idea of a perfect evening?: A COORDINATED "CON AIR" CONVENTION THAT CONTAINS NO LESS THAN SEVENTY-TWO SIMULTANEOUS "CON AIR" REENACTMENT EVENTS
What trait in a potential match do you consider an absolute dealbreaker?: DOES THIS EVEN MATTER????? PRETTY SURE THE DEAL BREAKER FOR EVERYONE ELSE IS IN THE LINE ABOVE
Would you ever consider dating someone much older/younger than you?: IF YOUR NAME IS NIC CAGE

oh my god, karkat, ok, let's go through this in order.

1. i would sooner marry liv tyler than nic cage! also your advice is, like, only pertinent if rose is here and we are older, and neither of those things are true!

Edited 2011-04-28 21:38 (UTC)

2. but that "con air" convention sounds like the greatest thing to ever exist. oh man, i think i'm going to start that! where doing it man. where MAKING THIS HAPEN.

3. i wish i could be like dave and have a bunch of future johns running around so we could be in all 72 reenactments at once.

4. this is pretty much the least helpful survey ever! unless

oh my gosh

UNLESS CAMERON POE IS IN NEW MOORE, TOO???????? in which case, this survey is perfect and sign me up!!!

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