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drunkandorgay2012-10-21 07:23 am
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I noticed not enough people are going for the paper edition of the gossip nightly. Congratulations on being a tree-hugging reality.
Since we at the GN are completely not into the environmentalist movements, and still print our issues on paper, I thought HEY GUY, YOU KNOW WHAT? We should totally give an abridged webisode update. So this is Gossip Weekly... possibly Gossip-Bi-weekly, I have heard island news is slow, but either way this is your gossip webisode with your completely and totally amazing host, me. Wallace Wells.
This week in gossip news, Ramona, who used to be dating my roommate, who isn't my roommate anymore, because I am obviously too cool for roommates in reality, was apparently dating Tim for an entire year (Seriously Ramona Flowers, your mother and I are so proud of you, like whoa, that has to be a record or something) But then he totally bailed on her and she freaked and now she's probably dating that other guy with the foofy hair because they were seen 'hanging' together sometime after that. No hard feelings from Ex-Boyfriend Tim, because apparently he hooked up with island hotshot Souji after the HEART BREAKING BETRAYAL of love lost between two madly in love young things. Ah, young love.
So anyway now ex-boyfriend Tim and ex-girlfriend Ramona are old news, and new news is that hottie Souji, who really knows how to work it. The guy is dating no less than five lucky people. Though I am still trying to work out the mechanics of how that works with that Yosuke guy. Who are you kidding, guy? No self-respecting bi-curious guy dresses that way. Man up and take it like a girl. And buy some new clothes.
While we are on the subject of romance, I just have to say, how many sexualy frustrated couples can you fit in so few square feet? Drama queens. Why don't you all just kiss and get to it. I know you all have beds. Have you seen the way those two blog detectives oggle each other? Did you forget to deduce the distance from your partner's face that separated personal space invasion from lip-lock? You could bottle the sexual tension on this island and mail it to Hollywood. Mn. Hollywood. Better yet, can someone imagine some of those Hollywood hotties on over here? Much better solution.
While we're on the topic of imagining things, not that this paper is trying to be one of those tabloid baby alien Jesus papers, but this place needs a better tabloid paper. Aliens walking the streets in broad daylight and we are not even at a convention. Someone phone Scott and tell him it is comic con I want to see what costume he pulls out of nowhere. That guy with the bowtie keeps hopping around in his portable phone booth and twirling around like he's trying out for swan lake. Seriously
How is anyone ever bored here.
Oh, wait, I can answer this one.
I have been here for daaaays now and not one totally awesome smash-drunk party to crash. RAMONA let's show these dozy islanders what a real party is like. Assuming you still remember how to party.
Since we at the GN are completely not into the environmentalist movements, and still print our issues on paper, I thought HEY GUY, YOU KNOW WHAT? We should totally give an abridged webisode update. So this is Gossip Weekly... possibly Gossip-Bi-weekly, I have heard island news is slow, but either way this is your gossip webisode with your completely and totally amazing host, me. Wallace Wells.
This week in gossip news, Ramona, who used to be dating my roommate, who isn't my roommate anymore, because I am obviously too cool for roommates in reality, was apparently dating Tim for an entire year (Seriously Ramona Flowers, your mother and I are so proud of you, like whoa, that has to be a record or something) But then he totally bailed on her and she freaked and now she's probably dating that other guy with the foofy hair because they were seen 'hanging' together sometime after that. No hard feelings from Ex-Boyfriend Tim, because apparently he hooked up with island hotshot Souji after the HEART BREAKING BETRAYAL of love lost between two madly in love young things. Ah, young love.
So anyway now ex-boyfriend Tim and ex-girlfriend Ramona are old news, and new news is that hottie Souji, who really knows how to work it. The guy is dating no less than five lucky people. Though I am still trying to work out the mechanics of how that works with that Yosuke guy. Who are you kidding, guy? No self-respecting bi-curious guy dresses that way. Man up and take it like a girl. And buy some new clothes.
While we are on the subject of romance, I just have to say, how many sexualy frustrated couples can you fit in so few square feet? Drama queens. Why don't you all just kiss and get to it. I know you all have beds. Have you seen the way those two blog detectives oggle each other? Did you forget to deduce the distance from your partner's face that separated personal space invasion from lip-lock? You could bottle the sexual tension on this island and mail it to Hollywood. Mn. Hollywood. Better yet, can someone imagine some of those Hollywood hotties on over here? Much better solution.
While we're on the topic of imagining things, not that this paper is trying to be one of those tabloid baby alien Jesus papers, but this place needs a better tabloid paper. Aliens walking the streets in broad daylight and we are not even at a convention. Someone phone Scott and tell him it is comic con I want to see what costume he pulls out of nowhere. That guy with the bowtie keeps hopping around in his portable phone booth and twirling around like he's trying out for swan lake. Seriously
How is anyone ever bored here.
Oh, wait, I can answer this one.
I have been here for daaaays now and not one totally awesome smash-drunk party to crash. RAMONA let's show these dozy islanders what a real party is like. Assuming you still remember how to party.