Well it's better than talking about resolutions that'll never come true, isn't it?

[reanimated]

Christ, has it really been nearly a year since I last did this? Time flies when you're trapped in the Bermuda fucking Triangle, man. I figured it's time for me to have another go at this list cos I've done quite a bit of growing and a bloody huge bit of dying since I've been here. Cheers to that I suppose.

ACCOMPLISHED:
-- Took a nasty spill, impaled by metal fence (chest)
-- Met a shapeshifter bitch, impaled by exposed lavatory pipe (stomach)
-- Savagely beaten in the toilets (blunt force trauma I think it's called? Ask lady-boy cop lady-boy cop proved unhelpful)
-- Smoke inhalation (not a pleasant way to go, for the record)
-- Took a nasty spill, broke neck on stairs
-- Took a nasty spill, fell in gutter (that was a shite weekend)
-- Electrocution, multiple times (this was on the "do it to impress the ladies" list last year, suffice to say it doesn't)
-- Dismembered limb from limb (apparently regeneration does work)
-- Strangled (by other, not self)
-- Disemboweled (NOT. PLEASANT.)
-- Probably loads of other ways, my memories get a bit hazy around that time
-- Drowned during the cruise from hell (in my defence, I was twatted)
-- Does dying in dreams count? Cos Robocop's mum stabbed me
-- Attacked by "shadows" while rescuing Spain from himself (YOU'RE WELCOME)
-- Turned into a zombie on Halloween
-- Bled to death after having cock cut off (YES THIS HAPPENED, YES BELARUS IS STILL ROAMING THE STREETS A FREE WOMAN, WHAT THE FUCK!)

SEEMS LIKE IT'D BE FUN, SHOULD HAVE A GO:
-- Erotic asphyxiation
-- Hanging (I hear it gives you a hard-on! STILL UNCONFIRMED FROM LAST YEAR but no one denied it at least.)
-- Aeroplane crash (what are the odds in this place. Unless those American wankers show up? Y'know the ones on the island.)
-- Overdose

WOULD DO IT TO IMPRESS THE LADIES:
-- Shoot self in the head
-- Something heroic I guess

FUCK NO:
-- Cannibalism
-- Anything involving that bullshit television world ever again
-- Drinking bleach (you aliens are still so incredibly stupid)


Resolutions: only die in impressive ways from now on, NO MORE GHOSTS, quit smoking, find God, build an orphanage, wouldn't it be funny if I was actually serious about these?

Comments

[reanimated]

I hope not, that'd make the nickname right confusing.

[bloody-pens.livejournal.com]

Well, we could always come up with a stupid off-brand nickname for the real thing.

[reanimated]

I've already got Robocock branded for the one who's here so that's out.

[bloody-pens.livejournal.com]

I will have to give this matter careful consideration, then.

[reanimated]

You do that! Nathan Young by the way, you're alright for a new guy I suppose.

[bloody-pens.livejournal.com]

Quite a pleasure, Nathan. I'm Richard Castle, though Castle is fine. I was apparently New Moore's New Years' Baby, too.

I do try my best to bloom where I'm planted.

[reanimated]

Ohhhh that makes you really bloody special then, doesn't it? Did you get a prize for that?

[bloody-pens.livejournal.com]

You know, nothing, just the usual "hey you were fictional except now you're not" speech. I should have gotten a sash to wear.

[notvictorious]

What is it with people and nicknaming cyborgs..

[bloody-pens.livejournal.com]

I like to think of it as... more like a superhero code name.

[notvictorious]

Don't let Nathan hear you say that. He doesn't want to be a superhero.

[bloody-pens.livejournal.com]

Gotcha. He just wants to die in new and spectacular ways, hmm?

[reanimated]

Look as soon as they invent a way to do it that requires little to no effort on my part then it's on the table.