Well it's better than talking about resolutions that'll never come true, isn't it?

[reanimated]

Christ, has it really been nearly a year since I last did this? Time flies when you're trapped in the Bermuda fucking Triangle, man. I figured it's time for me to have another go at this list cos I've done quite a bit of growing and a bloody huge bit of dying since I've been here. Cheers to that I suppose.

ACCOMPLISHED:
-- Took a nasty spill, impaled by metal fence (chest)
-- Met a shapeshifter bitch, impaled by exposed lavatory pipe (stomach)
-- Savagely beaten in the toilets (blunt force trauma I think it's called? Ask lady-boy cop lady-boy cop proved unhelpful)
-- Smoke inhalation (not a pleasant way to go, for the record)
-- Took a nasty spill, broke neck on stairs
-- Took a nasty spill, fell in gutter (that was a shite weekend)
-- Electrocution, multiple times (this was on the "do it to impress the ladies" list last year, suffice to say it doesn't)
-- Dismembered limb from limb (apparently regeneration does work)
-- Strangled (by other, not self)
-- Disemboweled (NOT. PLEASANT.)
-- Probably loads of other ways, my memories get a bit hazy around that time
-- Drowned during the cruise from hell (in my defence, I was twatted)
-- Does dying in dreams count? Cos Robocop's mum stabbed me
-- Attacked by "shadows" while rescuing Spain from himself (YOU'RE WELCOME)
-- Turned into a zombie on Halloween
-- Bled to death after having cock cut off (YES THIS HAPPENED, YES BELARUS IS STILL ROAMING THE STREETS A FREE WOMAN, WHAT THE FUCK!)

SEEMS LIKE IT'D BE FUN, SHOULD HAVE A GO:
-- Erotic asphyxiation
-- Hanging (I hear it gives you a hard-on! STILL UNCONFIRMED FROM LAST YEAR but no one denied it at least.)
-- Aeroplane crash (what are the odds in this place. Unless those American wankers show up? Y'know the ones on the island.)
-- Overdose

WOULD DO IT TO IMPRESS THE LADIES:
-- Shoot self in the head
-- Something heroic I guess

FUCK NO:
-- Cannibalism
-- Anything involving that bullshit television world ever again
-- Drinking bleach (you aliens are still so incredibly stupid)


Resolutions: only die in impressive ways from now on, NO MORE GHOSTS, quit smoking, find God, build an orphanage, wouldn't it be funny if I was actually serious about these?

Comments

[reanimated]

Very much so. And you are?

[loseashoe]

Cindy. [Also immortal, essentially. But that's a secret.] How come you're immortal?

[reanimated]

Cindy Cindy Cindy, that's a lovely name.

[reanimated]

Cos I deserved a power off the A-list? I don't know, got caught in a bit of nasty weather and now I'm Captain Invincible.

[loseashoe]

Interesting way to become immortal. Maybe you already were. What's your name?

[reanimated]

Could've been! Doesn't matter how but it's impressive, isn't it? Nathan Young at your service, I'll answer any and all questions related to this list and how to not be a huge bore on this island.

[loseashoe]

[aslkhdgd dude she hangs out with so many immortal people, SO MANY.] Yes, quite impressive. It's nice to meet you, Nathan. What, are you good at not being a huge bore?

[reanimated]

I'm the resident expert on it, love. Don't worry, stick around and you'll experience one of my infamous parties sooner or later. Whether or not you'll remember it is another question entirely.

[loseashoe]

...

I'll pass.

[reanimated]

You say that now.

[loseashoe]

Don't push.