one | voice

[thneed]

Sooo-- [ nervous laughing ] Just, you know, checking here...

Nobody actually buys that whole 'fictional' thing, right? And the doctors are just completely out of their minds? Or amazingly good actors and this is a very impressive prank, which good job by the way because that almost had me, and everyone can stop now?

Right?

Comments

[callbacks]

i dont know
this shit makes a hell of a lot more sense than anything that ever actually happened to me
whats your story dude
blow up in any suns lately

[thneed]

How could this possibly make more sense?
You don't really want to hear it and ...what? No. No, I haven't blown up a sun lately. Or at all. How do you even go about doing that?

[callbacks]

its not that hard
you dont really have to do anything besides stand there and look stupid
and then boom
youre fried
i mean i guess i had to make a map to get there but im kind of an artistic genius so that wasnt a big deal

[thneed]

[ wat. ] Of course you are.

[callbacks]

yeah
and i guess a time god and a knight and stuff
but thats secondary
welcome to mindfuck island i guess
i guess your life mustve been pretty boring if you think this places deal is impressive

[maiditoutalive]

Nope! You're going to have to wait to find out with the rest of us.

[thneed]

A time god and a knight? Really.

By impressive I meant 'extremely annoying' but you got to give them credit on the whole 'actually-kidnapping-you-thing.'

[thneed]

Well that's disappointing news.

[maiditoutalive]

I am working with very limited material here! You can either settle for disappointing, soul-crushing truth, or comforting lies that are, to be honest, are probably not going to be comforting for very long when we have another monster invasion. You will have to overcome the disappointment and carry on either way.

[callbacks]

what were you busy or something
i dont have better places to be than here
even if heres lame as all hell

[thneed]

Pretty busy. I have a whole business to run back home.
Is it really lame? It looks nice... weirdness aside.

[callbacks]

theyre making me go to summer camp

[thneed]

Disappointing truth or comforting lies, huh? [ sounds familiar ] Um. Can you go into detail about that monster invasion part?

[maiditoutalive]

I can try. What kind of details do you want to know about it?

[thneed]

What kind of summer camp?

[thneed]

What kind of monster and is this something I should be seriously concerned about?

[maiditoutalive]

Lots of monsters of all kinds and probably not any more so than you are worried about being kidnapped or being secretly fictional your entire life.

[ihateyouetc]

/!\ ATTENTION NEW ARRIVAL /!\
WOW, IT LOOKS LIKE THE FIRST GUY TO "ANSWER" YOUR QUESTIONS COMPLETELY FUCKING SUCKS AT IT.
WHAT A SHOCKER.
ACTUALLY, THE SHOCK WOULD BE ANYONE BEING SURPRISED BY THAT!
GIVEN THE CIRCUMSTANCES, I'M DEIGNING TO TAKE A MOMENT OUT OF MY INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT TIME TO SAY:
1.) EVEN THE MOST FEEBLE MINDS RESIDING ON THIS SHITTASTIC ISLAND BARELY ENTERTAIN THAT THOUGHT.
2.) THE GENERAL CONSENSUS IS THEY'RE FUCKING WITH US.
YOU'RE WELCOME.

[notvictorious]

No, most people don't believe it, but that doesn't mean they let us go or anything.

[thneed]

Is there a sane person here I can talk to?

[thneed]

Good to know, I guess. Thank you for that straightforward and colorful answer.

[maiditoutalive]

Don't be a jerk just because you don't understand what's going on and don't know how to stop freaking out about everything.

[thneed]

Nobody's figured out how to get out of here?

[callbacks]

you snooze you lose asshole

[notvictorious]

People disappear sometimes, but I'm not completely sure they're leaving willingly.