thoughtformed | PRETEND I POSTED THIS 10/18/12 BECAUSE I MEANT TO AND I FORGOT.

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PRETEND I POSTED THIS 10/18/12 BECAUSE I MEANT TO AND I FORGOT.

OK, OK.
I KNOW THE OTHER NAMES I PICKED WERE KIND OF STUPID.
ESPECIALLY TROLL SARAH JESSICA PARKER.
I MEAN HOLY SHIT.
WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING???
WHY DID I HAVE AN OPINION ON HER AND SARAH JESSICA PARKER?
I DON'T EVEN CARE ABOUT HER.
I'M NOT GOING TO INSULT HER OR ANYTHING BUT I THINK I WAS JUST BEING CONTRARY.
ANYWAY I KNOW YOU STOPPED LISTENING TO ME BUT HEAR ME OUT ON THIS ONE.
I THINK I'VE GOT IT THIS TIME.
WHAT ABOUT DREW BARRYMORE.

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LOOK HOW LONG I JUST SPENT THINKING ABOUT THIS.

holy shit, dave did not buy you a coffee drink to trick you into thinking too hard about him potentially throwing you into the ocean.
you're thinking of a thing rose would do!!!
it's subtle and involves a lot of foresight and planning. that's a rose thing.
this is literally all in your head.

you're doing the whole "freaking out over nothing" thing again.
it is cute and really fucking stupid at the same time.

WHAT.

FUCK YOU FOR THE STUPID PART OF THAT.
IT'S NOT STUPID. MY CONCERN IS PERFECTLY VALID.

BUT...
MAYBE THAT WAS KIND OF FARFETCHED.
LIKE I WAS COERCED INTO THROWING A BALL FOR A HUMAN DOG AND I THREW IT SO FAR EVEN THE HUMAN DOG WOULDN'T RETRIEVE IT.

I'M STILL NOT BUYING HE'S JUST DOING IT FOR NO REASON.
WE'RE NOT FRIENDS.
HE HAS TO HAVE A REASON.

no, it is pretty stupid.
stupid like a dog, which is what you are.
he has a reason!
the reason is friendship.

or irony.
one of the two.

i hate to say you are reading way too far into one regular friendly gesture, buuuuuuuut... you are.

but hey, don't let me tell you how to live your life.
keep thinking dave is playing weird mind games or waiting to spring out of the bushes and trick you if that's what you want.
after we turn the babies back in, i bet you guys will never talk again.

HOW THE FUCK IS GETTING A PRETENTIOUS CAFFEINATED BEVERAGE FOR SOMEONE YOU DON'T LIKE "IRONIC"?
I MIGHT BE TALKING OUT OF MY NOOK BUT I'M STARTING TO THINK NONE OF YOU ACTUALLY HAVE ANY CLUE WHAT "IRONY" IS.
ACTUALLY, I TAKE THAT BACK. LALONDE PROBABLY KNOWS.
SHE'S PROBABLY POINTED IT OUT AND I'M BETTING NOBODY LISTENED.

TIME OUT FOR A SECOND.
JOHN.
THIS QUESTION IS LARGELY IRRELEVANT TO THE REST OF OUR CONVERSATION.
IT'S FOR MY BENEFIT ONLY SO HUMOR ME, AND PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD HUMOR ME WITHOUT TELLING A TERRIBLE JOKE.
HAVE YOU EVER LISTENED TO ANYTHING YOU'VE SAID.
JUST CURIOUS.

AND NO, I DIDN'T THINK HE WAS GOING TO DO ANYTHING LIKE THAT...
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I THINK.
I THINK SOMETHING'S GOING TO HAPPEN BUT BEYOND THAT I DON'T HAVE ANY IDEAS.
IF I THINK ABOUT IT, I DON'T THINK HE'S CAPABLE OF MIND GAMES OR EVEN "PRANKS" SO...

YOU'RE RIGHT. WE PROBABLY WON'T TALK AGAIN.
DREW BARRYMORE WILL BE TURNED IN AT THE END OF THE ASSIGNMENT AND EVERYTHING WILL BE THE WAY IT WAS BEFORE.
NO MORE SUSPICIOUS PRETENTIOUS CAFFEINATED BEVERAGES OF ANY TEMPERATURE.
IT'S NOT EVEN AN ISSUE.

you're the one who doesn't listen!
it isn't ironic.
but those are the two reasons why he does most things.
(if you are counting davesprite, there is an extra special third reason: being a self-sacrificing bag of dicks.)
so if it isn't one...
you see where i am going with this.

of course i listen to everything i say.
why?

pfffft, ok.
i am saving this conversation for future rubbing-in-your-face uses, just so you know.

look, dave is my best friend.
i know when he is being nice and when he's being a jerk.
sometimes they happen at the same time, that is just how he operates.
but sometimes he is just straight up nice.
he would never admit it, of course, which is why he's all, "what karkat who im not friends with karkat im dave im so cool why would i be friends with karkat haha hey have you seen him i need to talk to him"
it figures both of you are huge idiots.
my point is that i am right and you are wrong.

Edited (I LOVE HTML SO MUCH THAT OUR LOVE IS PRIVATE take two: oh my fucking god kill me TAKE THREE: I WISH THAT I WAS DEAD (NOW YOU) I WISH THAT I WAS DEAD :DDDDDDDD) 2012-10-23 19:45 (UTC)

I LISTEN PERFECTLY FINE.
THE PROBLEM IS I LISTEN TO WHAT SENTIENT CREATURES WHO AREN'T BASICALLY SCRAPING THE BOTTOM OF THE BARREL TRYING TO COME UP WITH PASSABLY PLAUSIBLE JUSTIFICATIONS FOR WHY THEY SHOULD BE CONSIDERED "SENTIENT" CALL "LOGIC" AND "REASON."
SEEMS LIKE ALL HUMANS SAVE A FEW ARE DISTINCTLY LACKING IN THESE PROPERTIES! BUT DON'T WORRY IF YOU HAVEN'T HEARD OF THEM.
AT LEAST YOU HAVE THE "GOOD SENSE" TO SEE THAT ISN'T ACTUALLY IRONY.
CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR STATUS AS "STILL NOT QUITE THE DUMBEST HUMAN ON THIS ISLAND."

LIKE I SAID, JUST CURIOUS.
I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT'S LIKE TO GO THROUGH LIFE SAYING THINGS THAT ARE BLATANTLY UNTRUE AND COMPLETELY CONTRADICT MY PRIOR ACTIONS WHILE BELIEVING MYSELF TO BE RIGHT IS ALL.
NO BIG DEAL.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT. GO ON AND "SAVE IT" IF YOU WANT. I DON'T CARE.
THERE'S NOTHING IN THIS CONVERSATION TO "RUB IN MY FACE."
I MIGHT HAVE SLIPPED UP A LITTLE FURTHER BACK BUT THAT'S BECAUSE I WAS DISTRACTED BY SOMETHING ELSE,
WHICH IS A PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE REASON TO FUCK YOUR WORDS UP, BY THE WAY.
YOU DON'T HAVE SHIT ON ME.

Edited (PRIVATELY ADDING A PART I FORGOT TO ADD, WHICH WAS ALSO PRIVATE.) 2012-10-23 20:48 (UTC)

HEY, IT'S PERFECTLY VALID TO WANT TO TALK TO SOMEBODY BECAUSE YOU WANT SOMETHING FROM THEM.
LIKE WITH THAT SHITTY GAME HE'S PLAYING AND TRYING TO CONVINCE ME TO PLAY SO I CAN LOOK FOR FIDUSPAWN RIPOFFS TO GIVE TO HIM.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN FRIENDSHIP. THAT JUST MEANS "DO THIS FOR ME."
NOT ONLY THAT, BUT HONESTLY IT DOESN'T MATTER EITHER WAY.
I THINK HE'LL TAKE ANY KIND OF ATTENTION.
IF ANYONE IS ACTUALLY A HUMAN DOG HERE, IT'S HIM.

hey!
i know what logic and reason are.
and you are the one who goes around saying one thing and doing another, not me.
karkat, did you hit your head?
you seem confused about the dumb shit i do versus the dumb shit you do.
what gives?

you are right though.
there isn't anything to rub in your face...
yet.

PRETEND I POSTED THIS 10/18/12 BECAUSE I MEANT TO AND I FORGOT.

[ O PRIVATE! MY PRIVATE! ALSO DONE. ]

[ THE ONLY PRIVATE THAT YOU GET ]

[ wait one more. private you buddy ]

[ OH NO HE'S PRIVATE. ]

[ I SHOULD HAVE SAID IT'S WATER UNDER THE FRIENDSHIP PRIVATE EARLIER. ]

[ SLEEP WELL PRIVATE. ]

[ PRIVATELY DONE IN PRIVATE. ]

[ i need you to never say "friendship private" again please ]

[ you are worthless and no one will ever private you ]

[ THE PRIVATE IRONY IS NOT LOST ON ME, TRUST. ]

[ the best kind of art is PRIVATE ART ]

[ WHAT'S WRONG WITH A FRIENDSHIP PRIVATE?? WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM. ]

[ I'D SAY THIS PRIVATE IS AN EXPRESSION OF PLATONIC AFFECTION BUT IT'S NOT. ]

[ RUB A PRIVATE WITH A PRIVATE AND YOU GET AN ACTIVITY WHOSE LEGALITY VARIES BY JURISDICTION. ]

[ DONE DAMMIT. IT'S KIND OF CRUEL TO MESS WITH HIM LIKE THIS. IN PRIVATE. ]

[ there is a lot wrong with a friendship private, ok??? ]

[ let's not talk about it. privately. ]

[ IT'S NOT MESSING IF SOMEONE TAKES IT SERIOUSLY. GOD. PRIVATELY IN LOBING MENORY ]

[ privately the last private you'll ever private, i had to figure out a way to make it less gay ]

[ SOVIET PRIVATE. ]

[ ON A SCALE OF PRIVATE TO PRIVATE, THIS COMMENT IS TOTALLY TRUE AND NOT INACCURATE OR BIASED. ]

[ THIS IS ALSO THE PRIVATE TRUTH. ]

[ CHURCH OF PRIVATEJ, WHICH IS LIKE CHURCH OF PRIVATE FOR DOJ. ALSO DONE. PRIVATELY. ]

[ hella days later, this remains private as ever ]

[ HELLNOTRAVELER WELCOME TO THE PRIVATE RESISTANCE MOVEMENT ]

[ what would u do if i stole ur private ;) ]

[ ONE DAY I WILL TAKE REVENGE FOR MY PRIVATE BUT FOR NOW I JUST MAKE CAKES. ]

[ SAVING RYAN'S PRIVATE.................WAIT THAT'S NOT HOW THAT GOES. ]

[ WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY HERE IS LET'S KEEP THIS PRIVATE. ]

[ DONE PRIVATELY. ]