t e x t

[cruciverbalist]

Good day my fellow New Moorians.
I have a few very simple questions here for you all, if you would not mind. It would be most appreciated.

1. What do you think about this whole 'you were fictional but now you aren't' hodgepodge?

2. What do you think of our natives? Do you trust them? If so, why? If not, why?

3. Where do you believe we really are?

4. Do you have a criminal record? Did you have a criminal record? Have you done anything that could have landed you a criminal record in the past?

5. Have you ventured into the Hospital? If so, I would very much like to speak with you.

6. Have you ventured off the island? How far did you get?

[ Private to Commander Shepard ]
Are you effected?

[ Private to Beebs ]
Are you effected?

[ Private to Yourcroft ]
Are you effected?

Comments

[librariansheart]

1. I'm of two minds about it. The concept is like something out of a book on its own, but unless this is all a dream, I'm not sure that it isn't one of the more fun options for how I wound up here. I feel real enough, and I remember feeling real before, so it's hard to tell which is more concrete. Either way, if I can't get home right now, it's easier to try and fit in here and do my best with what I have to hand.

2. The government makes me uneasy... They hold back a lot of information that could really help the citizens, but that happened a lot at home, too. It's more that all these strange things keep happening and they won't give us even a cursory explanation. But I trust them, to a point. Even if we're only lab rats to them, surely they want to keep us alive and happy and healthy as much as possible? Otherwise they wouldn't have anyone to work with! But something still doesn't feel right.

3. The island of New Moore, somewhere in a vast ocean - no where near my home.

4. I don't have any criminal record, haven't in the past, nor will in the future, I hope. I've accidentally walked out of a library without checking things out once or twice, but I always rectified that as soon as I realized.

5. I haven't had as much as a sniffle after I arrived, so I haven't had any need to visit the hospital.

6. I know how to swim, a little, but I haven't gone boating before, so I haven't left the island except while we were all pirates for a while. I'm not sure how far off the coast we were... You'd have to ask our captain, Mr. Holmes. Ah... The other Mr. Holmes, of course.

Does that help?

[cruciverbalist]

It does [ this is convenient. ]

How long have you been here, Miss -- ?

[worldsonly]

Oui.
Laisse-moi seul.

private as private can be

[cruciverbalist]

Mes condoléances.

Where is Yourcroft?

[hypertoxic]

[ Blurgh. Vriska, at level two, happens to glance at this and is thus compelled to answer every single question. This annoys her gr8tly. ]

1. 8ullshit. Mostly? I think there could 8e more to it 8ut I'm not sure what yet.

2. I think they're lame, and I don't trust them! I 8elive they are fooling us a8out what's actually going on.

3. I don't know. [ It is straight up honest. ]

4. No? Sort of? Yes. I did a lot of 8ad things to a lot of people. [ Don't say it don't say it don't say it don't say it ] I'm not proud of it. [ FUCK!!!!!!!! ]

5. No. Why is that important?

6. I plan to test the limits of how far I can go, I just haven't gotten around to it yet.

[ Being forced to answer number 4 has left her seething. Especially since she is well aware that she will have to answer any follow up questions. Revealing her sordid, blood-soaked history to all of New Moore was never in her plans. ]

WOOPS SHERLOCK MAKES A LOT OF ENEMIES LOL

[cruciverbalist]

[ Ding ding. We have a winner. ]

What sort of bad things? If you wouldn't mind.

[ Although he himself is not completely uneffected. He does not find himself compelled to speak but he does find that he cannot tell lies. ]

I believe there is something more to the Hospital.

text;

[burlap]

[ ho hum... ]
1. Meaningless knowledge.
2. Vary from completely suspicious to seemingly naive. Who would bother to trust them?
3. Alternate dimension.
4. I suppose.
5. Yes. What do you want to talk about?
6. No.

text;

[cruciverbalist]

You're not effected.

two for you ceebs, you go ceebs.

[veryproud]

1. Whoever wrote my fiction has an odd sense of humor.
2. You know the answer to this already.
3. Still working on this one.
4. No. No. James Bond has a license to kill.
5. Not since my arrival.
6. I was going to but there was a hole in my boat.

I almost wrote you a novel for #4. This is a funny little thing going around.

LOLBHIYKJ NUMBER 6

[cruciverbalist]

You would make a fantastic Bond, Mr. Coulson.
Are you compelled to write a novel? I am compelled to read, if so.

[callbacks]

[Gdit Dave was just browsing the network trying to figure out what's happening and saw this. Now he has to answer every question. In blurt-mode, he doesn't think to space. Sorry, Sherlock.]

one i dont know it doesnt really seem to matter
all my friends are here and its marginally less boring than being stuck on a meteor for three years and our lives were bullshit anyway so it makes sense
two they just seem like normal people
they tip pretty well for instant delivery
three guam
four the earth got nuked when i was only thirteen so no
i guess i killed a guy but it was self defense
or my sisters defense
also he was an evil chess piece thats one hundred percent true
oh i guess i scammed an entire planets worth of crocodiles out of their life savings but thats kind of what they get for risking their retirement plans on the stock exchange
five no not since i got here
six only to the beach
and i guess there was that time we were pirates
but even then i dont think anybody got too far away from the island peoples ships just kept getting turned around and coming back

[cruciverbalist]

[ Sherlock does have no idea at all how to deal with you guys. ]

A chess piece, you say. Do elaborate.

[ohmycod]

1 load of bullshark but if its true who cares im reel now

2. hell no i dont trust nobody

3. dont know dont care, dont change a thing either way

4. hell yeah

assassinations, murder, minor theft, grand theft, middle theft if thats a thing, pickpocketing, jaywalking, mugging, other shit dont remember

i took over earth and committed genocide on humans i guess but thats in an alternate universe

5. nope

6. nope

[cruciverbalist]

A mark of pride, hm? Your record.

[morethanasidekick]

1. Oh total bullshit. But awesome bullshit. I'm thinking of writing my very own fanfic.

2. I trust them to be people. Take that however you like.

3. When I get bored and or drunk I've been known to yell “Da plane, Da plane!” to see what happens next.

4. Now technically they have to be able to prove beyond reasonable doubt that you actually did something before it becomes a part of your permanent record. I like to think it's less of a record and more of a case of me helping the charming detectives write a best seller. Those tend to be what? 120K words. Give or take.

5. Speak away then. FTR. The Green jell-o is the shit.

6. Nope. Effort.

[Kenzi is not effected. Kenzi is just lacking a filter or care factor.]

[cruciverbalist]

1. Of yourself? Do you figure fanfiction is as valid as fiction and therefore possible to land themselves here?

2. Not much trust, then.

4. Touche.

5. Notice anything peculiar? Aside from the jell-o.

[bowsbeforehoes]

1. Bullshit. If I was fictional, I'd be able to fucking fly.

2. Natives are okay, I guess. Don't trust them, but I don't trust a lot of people.

3. Middle of some island in the middle of an ocean [I'm thinking Indian Ocean or South Pacific] under government experimentation.

4. Yes, but it was expunged when I started working for my current employer.

5. Nope, don't plan on it. Don't get along with hospitals.

6. Birds don't swim.

[cruciverbalist]

1. Certainly a valid theory.

3. Extend your thoughts of experimentation.

4. Valid. Your employer is?

5. Reasonable enough.

6. Actually, almost every species of bird known can swim.

[ihateyouetc]

ONE. IT'S BULLSHIT.

TWO. THEY'RE JUST AS STUPID AND USELESS AS EVERYONE HERE. IN FACT, THEY'RE NO MORE OR LESS TRUSTWORTHY THAN ANY OF YOU PRICKS ASKING STUFF ON A PUBLIC NETWORK EVERYONE CAN SEE SO THEY FEEL COMPELLED TO ANSWER YOUR SEEMINGLY HARMLESS BUT MOST LIKELY "HA, HA! I AM GOING TO FIND A DEEPER MEANING AND LEARN MORE ABOUT THE 'FICTIONALS' ON THIS ASININE SHITLAND FROM THEIR POORLY INFORMED ANSWERS" QUESTIONS, NOT ONLY BECAUSE YOU'RE GOING TO FILE THIS INFORMATION AWAY FOR LATER BUT BECAUSE YOU'RE PROBABLY GOING TO FIGURE OUT A WAY TO USE IT TO YOUR ADVANTAGE BECAUSE YOU JERKS ARE SO ASSTASTIC IT'S LIKE STEPPING OUT INTO A FINE MORNING MIST, FEELING THE ILLIMITABLE PERMEATING ASSNESS CLINGING TO THE FABRIC OF OUR CLOTHES AND SEEPING INTO OUR PORES. WHEN WE INHALE DEEPLY EVERYTHING REEKS OF FECAL MATTER.
BUT REALLY, IF SOMETHING WAS UP WITH THE NATIVES IT WOULD'VE BEEN FOUND OUT BY NOW. SOMEBODY ALWAYS SPILLS IT THE SAME WAY I'M SPEWING THIS SWILL AT YOU EVEN THOUGH I DON'T ACTUALLY FEEL LIKE ANSWERING THESE QUESTIONS
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M GOING TO ANSWER THEM ANYWAY BECAUSE I CAN'T FUCKING HELP MYSELF!

THREE. ON THE HUMAN EARTH, ON AN ISLAND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE GOD DAMN OCEAN. WHAT ANSWER WERE YOU LOOKING FOR HERE.

FOUR. NO. NO. YES.

FIVE. WHEN I FIRST GOT HERE THAT'S WHERE I WOKE UP. OTHER THAN THAT, YEAH, I WENT THERE WHEN A FRIEND WAS THERE. NO, YOU DON'T WANT TO SPEAK TO ME ABOUT IT. IT WAS BORING, UNREMARKABLE, AND THE AIR TASTED LIKE THIN PLASTIC GLOVES.

SIX. NO, BUT I'VE WATCHED PEOPLE WHO TRIED FAIL REPEATEDLY LIKE "FAILURE" IS THE NAME OF SOME HIGHLY REGARDED SPORTS EVENT AND THEY'RE ALL GOING FOR "THE GOLD." AFTER THAT THEY JUST GAVE UP. THE THING IS YOU CAN'T GET OUT OF HERE FROM THE SIDES BECAUSE THERE'S A BARRIER THAT KEEPS YOU FROM DOING IT. THE BARRIER ITSELF REACHES INTO THE OCEAN BED. I ALWAYS THOUGHT IF THERE WAS A WAY OUT OF HERE IT MADE SENSE IT'D BE UNDERGROUND BUT NOBODY'S FOUND THAT YET.

THERE. FUCK OFF.

[cruciverbalist]

You have quite a way with words.

As for three, if you must know, New Moore was in fact an island on earth. Yet it drowned some years ago. However, there are several clues to which points that this is not that New Moore. Stranger yet, the vast majority of those - regardless whether they come from my fiction or another fiction - who lived on earth do recall a New Moore. So this is, quite possibly, not actually New Moore. I am seeking theories from others.

Appreciated.

[pelagically]

1. There have been times when it was easier to believe it. I still do when it's convenient for me.

2. I don't, but that's nothing special.

3. Uncharted territory.

4. Yes. All of the above.

5. I spent time there when I first got here. It's nothing interesting. Much less oppressive than any hospital I was in at home.

6. I was the first one to try to leave the island. As far as I know, I'm the one who's gotten the farthest. I built a boat and sailed off with my friends. We hit an invisible barrier and nearly died. The barrier apparently extends infinitely in all directions. A friend of mine has repeatedly tried to break it. Nothing works.

[cruciverbalist]

1. You have found it easier?

4. Care to elaborate?

6. Interesting. This seems to be a consistent answer.

[dialogical]

Sweet, I fucking love surveys.
And it's hard to not admire someone ruthlessly taking advantage of a truth affliction to pry into the lives of total strangers.

One-
I could write books on this subject.
If I was feeling particularly self indulgent.
But the cliff notes version is that obviously there is some truth to the claim.
Though I don't think our proposed fictionality has changed between this universe and the ones we previously inhabited.
There is probably some religion faith to be founded on the principle that we are all just characters from stories inhabiting the shelves of God's endless library.
Or something equally stupid.
But it doesn't actually change anything for me.
As existential crises go, this 'revelation' doesn't even rank.
But philosophically, it adds an interesting new layer to the question of how does one define 'realness' anyway.

Two-
They're probably equally as real as we are.
Trust, in the ideal sense, and not my stunning ability to calculate how people will act and be right the vast majority of the time,
Is earned.
And they haven't earned it.

Three-
An alternate universe where this island is the only thing that exists or where it has been cut off from everything else for duplicitous reasons.
Likely having something to do with the weird fact that fictional people keep popping up.

Four-
I am from a time period that lacks anything that could really be called a governing body.
Since the body that governs has to presumably give enough fucks about paying attention to you to bother to judge on the legality of your actions.
And the society we are now a part of doesn't appear to have accounted for sentient AIs in their laws.
So it would likely be up to the courts to determine my ability to bear responsibility for any actions that I may or may not have taken.
Such as hacking sensitive materials and routing funds to personal accounts.

Five-
No.
Why?

Six-
No.


Also. You should answer your own survey.

[cruciverbalist]

[ Your appreciation is appreciated. ]

1. Indeed. I have, it is strange to say, heard of a great number of those who inhabit this place through fiction. As you say, however, it does propose a twist on what can and cannot be considered reality.

3. Ah, finally someone has to say something different of this matter. Have you anything further to add? I would love to hear it.

4. This is, I must say, a very sound explanation.

5. The security.




1. As I mentioned above, I can validate that to some extent the persons upon this island are persons from various types of media. Now, whether that makes us fictional is yet to be determined but until now my understanding of reality has been quite trite. I would rather continue to hypothesis on gathered facts when I have more experience here.

2. I am suspicious.

3. Like you, I do not believe it is on the Earth that I am aware of whether it be my representation of Earth or another's. It might not even be on Earth at all. It might, factually, be completely secular. These 'barriers' provide to this theory.

4. Yes. Yes. Yes.

5. See above.

6. Re: 3.

[allons_y_alonso]

1. Unless you missed it, Harry Potter is here! Unless JK Rowling wrote her books as an expose with a Kwik-Kwotes-Kwill or however you're supposed to spell it, that means we're definitely fictional. I was on the BBC! Honestly looking back it's a bit easy to pick our season finales. Not to mention Sweeps Week, blimey. And the Christmas Specials!

Honestly, though. What does it matter? I may have been fictional, but that doesn't mean I'm not real. I've been to Fiction before. Bit of a mess, but the consequences are all the same.

We're all still people, whatever kind of people we are.

2. And they're people too! Trust. Trust is a bit ridiculous, don't you think? In both ways. I don't trust these people. But I do have faith in them. In what they can be, can do.

Have I mentioned, I like ridiculous?

3. Oh, well. Latitude's easy, right? It's longitude you need help calculating. Honestly though, we've seen no other proof this is really even earth. The light's right, the gravity's right, and the smell is right, but in a bubble this size all those things are easy to fake. Could be anywhere.

4. No. Record's the singular form of the noun. Did, though, definitely did, past tense, the planet they kept the record on isn't exactly around any more. And of course I have! But a record with who? Different species judge crime on a very appalling sliding scale. Littering, punishable by death. Or pointing out certain people and saying "it's all right, we have a great long turgid list of reasons why killing that one isn't murder." It's all a bit rubbish, isn't it?

5. Well, you know, visiting friends. You know the TARDIS won't materialize either there or in the Vistor's Center? Few places in the warehouse district as well. And it won't go straight down to the caves; but if you fly to the entrance there's no problem taking her down on manual.

6. I got all the way across the universe! And to next year! Woke up back here the next morning, though. Bit of a downer. Not that I really expected too much different.

[cruciverbalist]

[ And what has Sherlock gotten from this? There is a sigh, and he pinches his nose. ] You are The Doctor.

[mindoirsurvivor]

Effected, Hell, I'm starting to think I'm the epicenter.

You know, until ten seconds ago, I would have sworn I liked you better than Jackass Number One. Now you see why I need to hire detectives.

We're not fictional. Brainwashed, maybe, but not fictional. I get nightmares about prying under my skin with an omni-knife looking for signs of indoctrination , but there's enough metal in there already, who could tell. Lawson's Monster, that's me.

As for the people here, I've never had much use for civilians. Can't rely on them. They don't understand. That hasn't changed.

Where we are? Xenogeography was never a strong suit. Geology, sure, you go through all the classes in Survey, but if it doesn't have platinum, palladium, iridium, or eezo, I don't know too much about it. We're dirtside. It's boring.

I don't have a criminal record. I'm a SPECTRE. The law is always on my side. Associating with a terrorist organization probably went in my file, but I sorted that out.

After I stand my genocide trial; then I'll have a record.

I've been in the Hospital. I don't particularly want to talk about it. Especially not on the network. You're not just a jackass, you're an idiot making anyone broadcast that on an open channel. If I wake up handcuffed to you in a cave I'm going to make a very sincere effort to pick the lock with your teeth.

Couple tours in rescue boats. Didn't get very far, though. Finnick's not exactly a demure gentleman but Mason makes a Hell of a chaperone. Glad she's not a biotic. Should have seen her face when she found out I was.

Hey, Jackass Number Two, you want to wander down to the station this afternoon? I've got a complaint to file with your lockpicks.

- private

[cruciverbalist]

Anyone with worthy words to say are being spoken to in private, Commander. Considering the state of our being here I would surmise that the greater amount of persons haven't made significant efforts to discover their surroundings. And further, I did not ask for details now did I? You'll find I'm quite capable of encryption.

Is this your way of telling me you're going to give me a black eye? I do, for one reason or another, have a bit of an issue with that but pushing that aside, Jackass Number Two is such a mouthful. Can we shorten it a bit? I like acronyms. How does JA2 fair?

[Audio]

[coimiceoir]

[The little Irish girl on the other end sounds very carefree and nonchalant about all of this, like it's some new game someone's thought up and she's enjoying herself immensely.]

Everyone always makes up stories. And these people are no different than any other people. Trust is a sharp knife which cuts the defender as much as the betrayer no matter what. My trust is granted sparingly.

This place is where my charge is laid. That is all that matters right now. Unless I find another to pass my charge to when I find a way home, I won't leave - I haven't tried before.

What is a criminal record?

[Just for one reply, her tone goes distant, as frigid and sharp as splintered ice.]

The hospital is where they held me against my will.

[Just that. Then she giggles and everything is all right again.]

You're very curious. What do you want to know all of that for? The leaders of this place must love you!

[Audio]

[cruciverbalist]

[ He hums quietly. How can someone not know what a criminal record is, really? ]

I am a curious sort, yes. As for the record, in common society there are laws which must not be broken. Some of these laws, when broken, have minor consequence but some are far more grave to adhere to. Either way, upon breaking it - should you be caught - it goes upon a record.

Now, the hospital.