Backdated to earlier this morning

[callbacks]

dave this is future you
youre not going to school today
dont bother trying to call in sick it wont work
theres nothing i can do for you
im sorry
honestly
you have no idea how sincere im being right now
the best you can do is probably turn off your phone and try not to talk to anyone but we both know thats not happening
im leaving now though im not prolonging this bullshit any longer for either of us than i have to
just wanted to warn you man
later

Comments

[riseup]

i guess you are biased.
the world is ending and you don't have your timey powers.
you're given the choice to save either snoop dogg or ben stiller.
who do you save?

[callbacks]

if i die can they both be saved

[riseup]

no, dumbass.
they both die if you die.

[callbacks]

stiller
i have indirectly touched his weirdly gaunt face so thats one less degree of separation
why would you hurt me like this

[riseup]

because asking stupid questions is more fun than all the drama bombs everyone has been dropping.
f/m/k: sweet bro, hella jeff and geromy.

[callbacks]

what the fuck
theyre my children
goddammit
ok fuck sweet bro kill hella jeff and marry the new friend geromy
i mean seriously look at his face
if you had to choose which nic cage movie youd be stuck in for the rest of your life which one would it be

"""""""""""super awesome""""""""""""""

[riseup]

kill the blue dude, i see how it is.
oh man, just one?
can i mash ghost rider, city of angels and national treasure up into one super awesome mega-movie?

[callbacks]

sure
you could try

[riseup]

and it would be the best movie!!!
who was your favorite person you kissed during the demon mistletoe crisis?

fjdkfdjk we're pretending I actually got back to my mistletoe logs

[callbacks]

minako
have you seen her
because hot damn
what about you

we're pretending i did any besides vriska

[riseup]

dude, i still can't believe you macked on one of the sailor moons.
that is pretty legendary.
and kkkkkkkkissing vriska was actually awesome.

[riseup]

whoa, seriously?
ok.
wow.
i wasn't expecting that to work.
but i guess it really was!

1/2

[callbacks]

[Ohshit. Sorry John.]

[callbacks]

yeah eight ks i could say you got into it
so far into it you like absorbed her quirk through your face
that sure is a thing i could say
anyway
if we werent stuck here and earth wasnt a meteor pancake would you rather go home but never travel or get stuck on a road trip for five years and then do whatever you want

[riseup]

yeah, that's definitely what happened.
douche.
who am i on the road trip with?

[callbacks]

snoops ghost
no i dont know
pick someone

[riseup]

if it was you, or rose, or jade, i would totally pick the road trip.
oh shit, what if it was all four of us?
road trip forever!!!
i would do the road trip with karkat too.
or souji, or victor, or vriska...
ok, so i would pick the road trip pretty much every time.
unless it was eridan.
then just lock me up in my house for the rest of my life.
plus, i can always go back home after the road trip, right? win-win.

[riseup]

how much do you actually remember about being alpha dave?

[callbacks]

i dont remember everything about it now
its been a while and i try not to think about it too much
but yeah i remembered basically all of it at the time
he was really sad john

did that ever happen to you

[riseup]

i knew it.
you guys are the worst liars i know.

[riseup]

kind of? but also kind of not.
you know how karkat never shuts the fuck up about me bringing the pie to the murder scene?
it was a little like that then.
jade
the jade that was here before.
she and i were older.
we remembered each other and we knew you and rose, but it was like we never played sburb at all.
at least you knew what trolls were. we definitely didn't.
i was a doctor and jade was a scientist.
we were just normal grown ups.
i figured that was who i would become after the scratch, but then roxy, dirk and jane told me about john crocker... so i have no idea.
it was a really long time ago.

[riseup]

you can only rap about one thing for the rest of your life.
what is it?

[callbacks]

movies
damn
that would be awesome
if we had better movies anyway though i guess shitty movies are their own perpetual fount of source material
though i guess if i ran out of culturally relevant b movies i could like
i dunno
rap about us i guess
i mean we were pretty rad
when we werent sucking

[callbacks]

would you rather eat a tarantula or an entire wedding cake
from a box mix

[riseup]

STRIDERRRRRRRR!!!
the tarantula, you assdouche.