001. text.

[universalconstant]

THIS IS SO STUPID.

RELOCATION WITHOUT CONSENT OR WARNING FOLLOWED BY UNREASONABLE EXPLANATION AND ACCUSATIONS OF FICTIONALITY IS NOT A PROPER WAY TO GAIN A CITIZEN FOR YOUR NONSENSICAL ISLAND CITY

ALSO AM I THE ONLY ONE THAT IS NOT A FUZZY COTTONTAIL??? I DO NOT THINK I HAVE ENOUGH BOXES TO PUT YOU ALL IN. WHERE WILL YOU LIVE IF YOU CAN NOT LIVE IN BOXES?

Comments

[universalconstant]

????
sir dave, i'm not sure who you think i'd be
i'm not sure how to answer
do i guess at who one would think i might be because i have knowledge of the bunny?

i am not john

[callbacks]

hold the presses everybody the elections been postponed indefinitely
the mayor is in the hizzouse
whats shaking dude where have you been all my life
and by all my life i mean the past like nine months ive been stuck here on an island with no one to share administratorship of can town with

[universalconstant]

NINE MONTHS?
sir dave, the time does not match up for me. i was right where you left me and you had not been missing. this is quite baffling but i will assume you are doing your knightly duty keeping proper track
i have citizens with me. they were kind enough to provide a red wagon as transportation for the cans.

[callbacks]

yeah times wonky as a broken mailbox dealie spinning in the wind out here
i bet we didnt even get here from the same point on the timeline
not that it really matters on meteor nothingsville where nothing happens and continues to be a thing that is not happening
your mayorship do the citizens need immediate relocation or are you gonna guarantee them housing yourself
since terezi isnt here ive had to set up a refugee camp under my bed and i dont want to promote overcrowding

[universalconstant]

how confusing.
i have yet receive notice concerning my assigned a living space.
once i am alerted i can provide accommodations and we may begin rebuilding in the new location.
we should join these with the refugee camp in order to perform a census. overcrowding will only be a temporary issue.

[callbacks]

providing safe opportunities for public bonding is an important civic duty too
you can come hang out at my place until you find out what the haps are re your room
also i work at a pizza place now so i can probably help boost population growth and immigration once you and the homeboys are settled

[universalconstant]

it is!
thank you very much for your hospitality, sir dave.
population growth will be wonderful to behold once can town has a proper location!



what is pizza ?

[callbacks]

oh my god
youve never had pizza
one of my less useful organs just shriveled up and died of sadness
let me see if the onceler can make green pizza for you
you like green foods right

[universalconstant]

!
sir dave, please do not lose any more organs to depression
green is delicious

[callbacks]

you people and your color tastes
its almost like having terezi back
ill see what he can whip up
would you want vegetables on top or should we just dye all the pepperoni kelly green

[universalconstant]

i am very pathetic in comparison to lady judge terezi's superior color taste
vegetables go on pizza? can we put a pumpkin on it?

[callbacks]

everything goes on pizza
its the universal food

[universalconstant]

tell me more

[callbacks]

its basically the bread of democracy
glued together with the tomato sauce of civilization and the cheese of liberty
and topped generously with heaping piles of free will
this is everymans pizza
and theres enough to share

[universalconstant]

!!!!!!!
I SHOULD START EATING PIZZA IMMEDIATELY

[callbacks]

i dont know mayor do you think you can handle it
is your mouth ready for this much cheesy freedom

[universalconstant]

MY MOUTH IS ALWAYS READY FOR FREEDOM.

[callbacks]

ok let me get a ballot ready for you

size (choose one)
[ ] small
[ ] medium
[ ] large
[ ] jupiter

crust (choose one)
[ ] normal
[ ] thin
[ ] deep dish
[ ] stuffed

toppings (first two free each after that seventy five cents)
[ ] extra cheese
[ ] pepperoni
[ ] pumpkin
[ ] constitutional amendments
[ ] spinach
[ ] mushrooms
[ ] barbecue chicken
[ ] sausage
[ ] anchovies
[ ] separation of power

extras
[ ] cinnasticks
[ ] soda
[ ] president obamas face in the pepperoni
[ ] pizza cozy

notes (if you have any)

[universalconstant]

size (choose one)
[ ] small
[ ] medium
[X] large
[ ] jupiter THIS IS RIDICULOUS!

crust (choose one)
[ ] normal
[ ] thin
[ ] deep dish what does this mean?
[X] stuffed WITH JUSTICE

toppings (first two free each after that seventy five cents)
[ ] extra cheese
[ ] pepperoni
[X] pumpkin !!!!
[X] constitutional amendments YES
[ ] spinach
[ ] mushrooms
[ ] barbecue chicken
[ ] sausage
[ ] anchovies
[X] separation of power !!!!

extras
[ ] cinnasticks
[ ] soda
[ ] president obamas face in the pepperoni WHY WOULD WE EAT HIS FACE?
[ ] pizza cozy
[X] TAB

notes (if you have any)
am i paying in boonbucks? what is the currency exchange?

Oh my god Jackie how annoying was that to code for you /)A(\

[callbacks]

dude this ones on me
all my friends get a celebratory welcome to new moore pizza
or seven
youll get the lifechanging experience of a good slice of deep dish before long mr mayor

[callbacks]

also no wed like draw the presidents face on the pizza with the pepperoni
paradox pizza is a strictly cannibalism free zone
im pretty sure weve got that on a paper somewhere in the kitchen
in big letters
so everybody understands

more annoying than being a dwarf and trying to take off a giraffe's hat

[universalconstant]

thank you very much for letting me have this experience, sir dave

oh good
you should not eat your democratically elected official's face
unless it is put to a vote and a bill is passed legalizing cannibalization

[ohmycod]

(yo strider who is this nerd
you actually know em)

[callbacks]

(this is the mayor duh
hes like one of my best fucking friends
hes into government)