ERIDAN I SWEAR TO GOD.

[ihateyouetc]

/!\ BLINK BLINK LOOK AT ME BLINK BLINK /!\
/!\ BLINK BLINK DON'T LOOK AT ME BLINK BLINK /!\
/!\ BLINK BLINK LOOK AT ME BLINK BLINK /!\
/!\ PLEASE IMAGINE AN APPROPRIATELY ABHORRENT SET OF BLINKING IMAGES /!\
/!\ BECAUSE GOD FORBID ANYBODY PUT GENUINELY OBNOXIOUS BLINKING IMAGES UP AROUND HERE /!\
/!\ WHY THAT MIGHT OFFEND SOMEONE'S DELICATE SENSIBILITIES AND FACILITATE A SPONTANEOUS AND SPASTIC TORSO EXPLOSION /!\
/!\ MAYBE CAUSE THEM TO CONVULSE AS IF THEY SUDDENLY DECIDED TO PLAY A "SPOT" OF "SUPER JAM EVOLUTION BOOGIE UPRISING" /!\
/!\ DOES ANYONE EVEN KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON WITH THAT "GAME"??? /!\
/!\ IN FACT PEOPLE WHO PLAY THAT GAME MIGHT EVEN BE WORSE THAN ANYONE WHO GETS "OFFENDED" BY "BLINKING IMAGES" /!\
/!\ BLINK BLINK LOOK AT ME BLINK BLINK /!\
/!\ BLINK BLINK DON'T LOOK AT ME BLINK BLINK /!\
/!\ BLINK BLINK LOOK AT ME BLINK BLINK /!\
/!\ FYI A LITTLE DESCRIPTION HERE /!\
/!\ THESE IMAGES ARE THE WORST PIECES OF SHIT YOU'VE EVER SEEN /!\
/!\ LIKE SERIOUSLY THEY ARE SO BAD YOU GUYS /!\
/!\ YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW /!\
/!\ SWEET MERCILESS LORD OF SIMPERING CHUCKLEFUCKS, YOU SAY /!\
/!\ HOW DID IT EVER COME TO THIS???????????????????????? /!\
/!\ WHY ARE THESE PUTRID PRESENTMENTS PRESENT!!! /!\
/!\ BLINK BLINK LOOK AT ME BLINK BLINK /!\
/!\ BLINK BLINK DON'T LOOK AT ME BLINK BLINK /!\
/!\ LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME /!\
/!\ LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME /!\
/!\ LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME /!\
/!\ LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME /!\
/!\ SAY THAT TWELVE TIMES FAST WHILE STARING IN A REFLECTIVE SURFACE AND WANTING MY ATTENTION /!\
/!\ MY UNDIVIDEDLY LOATHSOME VISAGE WILL MAGNANIMOUSLY MATERIALIZE BEFORE YOU TO SEE WHAT THE HELL YOUR PROBLEM IS /!\
/!\ YOU WILL FEEL FROM MY RAUCOUS RESPLENDENCE THAT I AM LOOKING UPON YOU IN ULTIMATE JUDGMENT /!\
/!\ AS IF YOU ARE THE MOST UNAPOLOGETICALLY RETARDED EXISTENCE I HAVE EVER ENCOUNTERED /!\
/!\ AND THAT'S PROBABLY TRUE, BUT I DIGRESS! /!\
/!\ AFTER THAT I WILL RAISE MY APPENDAGES AND CURL MY PRONGS AROUND MY OWN ITSY BITSY ISTHMUS /!\
/!\ WHERE I WILL THEN PROCEED TO THROTTLE MYSELF /!\
/!\ JUST "GOING TO TOWN" ON MY SCRAWNY FLESH ENCASED CHUTE UNTIL I ASPHYXIATE /!\
/!\ AT WHICH POINT AGAINST ALL LOGIC AND REASON IN ANY UNIVERSE THAT EXISTS OR WILL EVER EXIST I'LL DO A LITTLE CURTSEY AND PASS OUT LIKE A TWO TON SACK OF SHIT MERRILY DEPOSITED DOWN A VENTILATION CHUTE BY THE JOLLY RED VACATION ASSHOLE, PROSTRATING MYSELF IN FRONT OF THE CLOWN COVERED IN BLOOD OF MYSTERIOUS ORIGIN WHO CRAWLED OUT FROM THE VENTILATION SYSTEM IN THE CEILING WHERE HE WAS STARING AT ME THE WHOLE TIME /!\
/!\ WILL HE FINISH THE JOB?????? THERE'S A 7% CHANCE HE WILL!!!!!! /!\
/!\ BUT THERE'S A 93% CHANCE HE'S JUST GOING TO PICK ME AND THE SACK OF SHIT UP AND CARRY US BOTH OFF, CONTINUING HIS ARDUOUS ACT UNTIL HE LAYS DOWN OUR RESPECTIVE AND NEGOTIABLE ANATOMIES LIKE WE'RE THE FRUITS FROM HIS CORPSE HAUL /!\
(WITH ME BEING THE UNCONSCIOUS AND ASSAILABLE RECIPIENT BURDENED BY FREQUENT ANATOMICAL INQUIRIES OF AN EXTREMELY PERSONAL NATURE WHICH ARE NOBODY'S FUCKING BUSINESS, BY THE WAY, AND THE SACK OF SHIT BEING A SACK OF SHIT. WE'RE HARD TO TELL APART, I KNOW.)
/!\ NESTLING US SNUG TOGETHER IN A PILE OF GARBAGE WHERE WE BELONG /!\





OOPS, WAS THAT NOT SUPPOSED TO BE BROADCASTED TO A WHOLE NETWORK?
WAS THAT INTENDED FOR ONE PERSON?? OHHHHHHHHH SHIT!!!
GOLLY GOSH, CONSIDER ME FUCKING EMBARRASSED!!!!!!
"ACCIDENTAL" "ON PURPOSE" VIDEO/AUDIO/MISFIRED TEXT THAT PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE BEEN PRIVATE!!!!!!!!!
GOD DAMMIT DUDE, THE REASON I STOPPED HAVING *THAT* CONVERSATION IS BECAUSE WE WERE KIND OF BUSY
YOU KNOW, TRYING TO FIND VRISKA? BUT IN YOUR DEFENSE I CAN SEE HOW THAT WOULD BE EASY TO FORGET
SEEING AS THAT GUY WHINING BECAUSE HE ONLY LOVES BLACK AND WHITE COOKIES AND DAVE'S ASS REALLY TOOK PRECEDENCE THERE
AND AFTER THAT EVERYTHING WAS FINE SO WE DIDN'T NEED TO CONTINUE THE CONVERSATION ABOUT HOW YOU SHOULDN'T BE SHITTY TO TAVROS.
NOT THAT I'M SAYING IT'S TECHNICALLY OK TO BE SHITTY TO TAVROS RIGHT NOW BUT THAT'S OLD NEWS?????????
PRACTICALLY EVERYBODY'S SHITTY TO TAVROS. WE HAVE TO MOVE ON SOMETIME.
NOT ONLY THAT BUT IT WAS ABOUT TO TURN INTO THE SAME FUCKING ARGUMENT WE *ALWAYS* GET INTO!
WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN HERE, JUST WATCH.
ALL YOU SPECTATORS WHO NEVER SHOULD HAVE BEEN PRIVY TO THIS CONVERSATION
PLACE YOUR BETS, MOTHERFUCKERS!!!
MARK MY WORDS, WE ARE GOING TO ENGAGE IN A CONVERSATION ABOUT SOME SHIT YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT
IN FACT, WE ALREADY HAVE! IF YOU'RE MASOCHISTIC ENOUGH YOU'VE ACTUALLY READ THIS FAR MAYBE YOU'LL GET LUCKY
MAYBE YOU'LL HAVE WON THE GENETIC LOTTERY
MAYBE YOUR CEREBRAL VEINS WILL MIRACULOUSLY RUPTURE AND SPARE YOU FROM LOOKING AT ANY OF THIS SHIT ANY LONGER
OR MAYBE YOU'RE HUNGRY
WHO THE FUCK KNOWS, I DON'T CARE.

Comments

[uneulogized]

You know, I didn't read all that, but I think you forgot to answer his question.

[squidissension]

hey yeah

[uneulogized]

I think it's safe to say he's pissed at you now.

[ihateyouetc]

DON'T LISTEN TO WHOEVER THE FUCK THAT IS
THERE IS NO WAY YOU READ ALL OF THAT
YOU JUST SAW THAT REPLY AND YOU'RE LOOKING FOR WHATEVER SUPPORTING EVIDENCE YOU CAN GRASP THAT I DIDN'T ANSWER YOUR GOD DAMN QUESTION AND YOU KNOW IT.

[ihateyouetc]

DON'T ENCOURAGE HIM YOU ASSHOLE!

[uneulogized]

Hey, I'm just trying to watch my soaps. Not my fault the writers can't wrap up their storylines.

[maiditoutalive]

arent you just encouraging him with this

[hypertoxic]

Pro8a8ly!
8ut don't 8other warning him off. There is no point.
May8e they will shout each other to death and we can all finally get some peace?

[maiditoutalive]

sometimes karkats shouting is important
or important in the sense that we dont listen and thus make it important
i think i would miss it
i could take or leave eridans shrieking though

[ihateyouetc]

I WAS DOING SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.
THE THING THAT WAS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT THAT I WAS DOING
AS OPPOSED TO WASN'T DOING
SINCE WHAT I WASN'T DOING WAS SOMETHING ENTIRELY TO DO WITH ERIDAN
WAS MAKING A HIGHLY RELEVANT AND SCATHING SOCIAL COMMENTARY.

[ihateyouetc]

HAVE YOU NOTICED HOW MANY PEOPLE ACCIDENTALLY POST ON HERE?
IT'S CRAZY. HOW DOES THAT EVEN HAPPEN.
IT HAPPENED TO ME ONCE WHEN SOUJI TRIED TO PULL MY SHIRT UP AND I HIT THE PHONE BUTTONS WHILE WE WERE RUSTLING AROUND SINCE I WAS TRYING TO GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM HIM, BUT THAT'S COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.

[hypertoxic]

Oh my god.

[hypertoxic]

Are we ever going to stop talking a8out this?

[riseup]

you two need to go to coulson.

[ihateyouetc]

WHAT, FOR A CONVERSATION?
PRO TIP, THEY ALL LOOK LIKE THIS.

[veryproud]

[ oh god ]

Do I need to start initiating group therapy? Is this a thing that's going to happen?

[ why ]

[freakystrong]

D --> You seem disgruntled

[ihateyouetc]

WHY DOES HE KEEP ASKING ME IF I'M MAD
OF *COURSE* I'M MAD
I'M ALWAYS MAD
I AM PERPETUALLY ENRAGED BY EVERYBODY
IF YOU ALL DIDN'T PISS ME OFF SO MUCH THEN I WOULDN'T HAVE TO BE SO ANGRY
BUT YOU JUST HAVE TO PISS ME OFF
LIKE YOU CAN'T GET ENOUGH
SO IF ANYONE HAS A PROBLEM WITH IT THEY CAN TAKE A GOOD FUCKING LOOK AT THEMSELVES, CRACK THEIR APPENDAGES AT A NINETY DEGREE ANGLE OVER THEIR SHOULDERS, SQUEEZE THE ANGLE LIKE A "V", AND PAT THEMSELVES ON THEIR RESPECTIVE BACKS AND SAY "THANKS A FUCKING LOT, ME! WE SURE DID IT THIS TIME, JUST LIKE WE DO EVERY OTHER TIME!!"

[ihateyouetc]

WHY IS IT LIKE THIS EVERY TIME I TALK TO HIM
THIS IS LIKE THE FROGS ALL OVER AGAIN
I NEVER WANT THAT TO HAPPEN AGAIN BUT SOMEHOW IT KEEPS HAPPENING IN THE DEEP RECESSES OF MY THINK PAN
AND HERE I AM
THINKING ABOUT FROGS AGAIN
JUST MORE THINGS TO ACCOMPANY THE NIGHTMARES I HAVE OF GAMZEE
MY PHONE BUZZING FRANTICALLY FROM HIS DISCONCERTING INNARDS.

[veryproud]

No actual blinking text?

[ihateyouetc]

WHAT
OF COURSE NOT
THAT WOULD DETRACT FROM THE POINT.
THE WHOLE POINT OF IT IS YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT IT
IF THE TEXT IS ACTUALLY BLINKING SOMEONE MIGHT MISS IT
AND I HAD A LOT OF CRITICALLY IMPORTANT THINGS TO SAY HERE.

[callbacks]

i know right???
i feel like a kid who stayed up all night waiting for the tooth fairy and just got handed a peppermint at five am from the dea while they combed the motel room for meth
karkat where is my blinking text
how are you going to answer these crushed expectations

[callbacks]

ok wait was the problem the guy who loved oreos
and my ass
or did the guy love oreos AND my ass????
because i just went back and read that conversation and unless im missing some really choice subtext i dont think that was a thing and if it was i need a way to turn him down politely
hes a friend of katniss

in order of importance

[pelagically]

I don't like Oreos that much, I'm spoken for, and you're not my type.

[cawmemaybe]

do you get a prize if you admit you actually read all that
or is it just that feeling that you could have spent the last fifteen minutes doing something else