thoughtformed | BASED ON A TRUE STORY. FUCK ALL OF YOU.

OK, I DON'T EXPECT ANYONE HERE TO HAVE ANY STUPID ASSHOLE'S BLUE CLUE OR ANYTHING EVEN VAGUELY COMPARING TO AN ANSWER AS TO WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED OVER THE LAST STRETCH OF MISERABLE HUMAN DAYS.
IN FACT, I DON'T EVEN WANT AN EXPLANATION!
I'VE GIVEN UP ON EXPECTING ANYTHING EQUIVALENT TO A REASONABLE ANSWER.
I DO NOT HAVE ONE SOLITARY GOD-FEARING EXPLETIVE TO SCREAM TO THE SKY. I WILL NOT SET IT FREE TO ECHO INTO SPACE AND SHAKE THE WHOLE GODDAMN UNIVERSE WHERE IT MIGHT GO ON TO HERALD THE COMING OF A NEW RAGE HOTTER AND MORE POTENT THAN ANY OTHER FORCE OF SHEER ANIMOSITY BEFORE IT.
ACTUALLY, SPARE ME THE BULLSHIT!
NOBODY KNOWS WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THIS PLACE.
THE QUESTION I HAVE IS A SIMPLE ONE.
IT DOES NOT ASK MUCH.
IT IS MEEK. IT IS HUMBLE.
WHAT IT WONDERS IS SANE AND WITHIN REASON.
WHAT IT WONDERS IS SOMETHING THAT SHOULD BE EASY TO PROVIDE.
WHAT IT WONDERS IS: WHAT IN THE ALMIGHTY FUCK DID I WAKE UP TO
AND WHY DID ANYONE THINK THAT WAS A GOOD IDEA???
I MEAN SERIOUSLY?????
BUT I GUESS I HAVE TO HAND IT TO SOME OF YOU!
JOHN, THAT WAS AMAZING!
YOU DIDN'T BITE IT LIKE AN EMACIATED HUMAN DOG LUNGING FOR A HANDOUT.
I KNOW HOW HARD THAT HAD TO BE FOR YOU, SO REALLY, GREAT JOB!
LALONDE (PSA: THE PURPLE ONE; PINK ONE NEED NOT REPLY) I'M NOT TALKING TO YOU.
EVEN IF I CAN'T REMEMBER ANYTHING I AM PRETTY SURE THAT WAS ALL YOUR FUCKING FAULT.

/!\ ATTENTION /!\

/!\ STRIDER OF THE RED DOUCHE PERSUASION /!\

/!\ THIS PART IS ABOUT YOU! /!\

/!\ PLEASE, WILL DAVE STRIDER CTRL+F HIS NAME AND TAKE A LOOK AT THIS PART? /!\

/!\ THANKS! /!\

BLUE MAGNUM????
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?????????
WHO WOULD THINK TO SAY THAT EVEN AS A JOKE.
DO EVERYONE A FAVOR AND BECOME A PARTICIPANT IN A FREAK FOSSIL FUEL FIGHT ACCIDENT.

/!\ OK, NOW YOU CAN FUCK OFF /!\

NOT THAT I REMEMBER.
I'VE JUST BEEN BROWSING THROUGH THESE MEMOS WITH MONUMENTAL MORTIFICATION, BUT THAT TIME IS COMING TO a*** CLOSE.
I'M GOING TO STOP EXPENDING MY ENERGY ON READING THESE AND TRYING TO PIECE TOGETHER WHAT THE SHIT. INSTEAD, I'M GOING TO PUT ALL MY "STRENGTH" TOWARD A MORE NOBLE PURSUIT, SUCH AS SMASHING MY CRANIAL SHELL AGAINST THE WALL IN MY COMPARTMENTHIVE BLOCK IN RAPID SUCCESSION, TRYING TO ACCUMULATE ENOUGH MENTAL DAMAGES TO EITHER COMPLETELY FUCKING FORGET THE RIDICULOUS "PICTURES" AND EVERYTHING ELSE I WAS UNLUCKY ENOUGH TO SEE AFTER EMERGING FROM A PILE OF LIMBS SO CAREFULLY PLACED SO AS TO TRAP SOMEONE INSIDE THEM THAT IT WAS ALMOST LIKE I WAS INTRODUCED TO A SOFTER, KINDER, EVEN MORE EMBARRASSING VERSION OF ERIDAN'S SHITTY WAND PILE OR I JUST FLAT-OUT BREAK THROUGH THE WALL WITH SUCH GUSTO I MIGHT AS WELL GO PUT ON A BLACK "TANK" TOP, TAKE A BRIEF BREAK TO ROLL IN THE ABLUTION TRAP, AND COME BACK TO STAND IN FRONT OF THE HOLE I JUST MADE WHILE PRETENDING I'M DRENCHED IN SWEAT AS I DRIP A PUDDLE OF SHAME TO STAND IN WHILE SLOWLY TURNING MY HEAD TO MY TERMINALLY RETARDED HIVEMATE AND ASK HIM FOR A TOWEL.
WHICH ONE WILL IT BE???
I DON'T KNOW! PRETTY FUCKING PROMISING CHOICES THERE.
I GUESS WE'LL SEE WHICH ONE COMES FIRST!
PLACE YOUR BETS.
AUGH
WHATEVER
FUCK THIS.

OH SHIT EDIT
*** LOOK AT THIS MOTHERFUCKING REMINDER OF HUMILIATION.
THANKS FOR POINTING IT OUT, ASSHOLE.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Are you finished?]

OH YES!
A REPLY CONTAINING SOLELY NOTHING IS DEFINITELY HELPFUL AND COHERENT IN EVERY WAY EVER
THANKS FOR THAT!
WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU
AND WHY ARE YOU SENDING ME BLANK COMMENTS.

They're not blank.
I wouldn't bother with them.

WHAT??
WHO WOULD BOTHER SAYING ANYTHING IF THEY'RE GOING TO CONVEY IT IN WHITE TE

OH WHAT THE FUCK
THIS GUY AGAIN????
THIS IS THE GUY WHO TALKED TO ME WHEN I WAS AT KANAYA'S COMPUTER
HE TOLD ME NOT TO TURN MY BACK ON THE BODY???
HE SPECIFIED JUST ONE
BUT THERE WERE SO MANY I DIDN'T KNOW WHICH ONE.

[They aren't blank. They are in white text.
Have you been keeping an eye on the body like I told you?
No of course you haven't.]

Edited 2012-08-27 09:14 (UTC)

WHY ARE YOU EVEN HERE?????
WHICH BODY???????????????
THERE WERE TWO OF THEM. MAYBE FOUR INCLUDING EVERYONE ELSE?
FIVE IF YOU COUNT WHAT HAPPENS LATER, WHICH I ONLY VAGUELY KNOW ABOUT BECAUSE THIS PLACE MESSES WITH MEMORIES.
EITHER WAY THERE WERE WAY TOO FUCKING MANY AND YOU WEREN'T SPECIFIC.
IN FACT, YOU WERE THE OPPOSITE OF SPECIFIC.
YOU WERE COMPLETELY FUCKING UNHELPFUL.
I THINK YOU JUST MESSAGED ME ON KANAYA'S ACCOUNT TO BE A DOUCHE.
I BET YOU WEREN'T EVEN SERIOUS.

[I never lie.
And I only joke sparingly.
I was helpful.
You didn't take the advice to heart.
Feel free to hope it doesn't come to haunt you later.
But I doubt that it won't.]

HOW IS IT GOING TO COME BACK TO HAUNT ME NOW??? THERE ARE NO BODIES TO TURN MY BACK ON.
UNLESS YOU MEANT LIVING BODIES??? OR A LIVING BODY? BUT YOU DIDN'T SPECIFY A DAMN THING.
WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT, "DON'T TURN YOUR BACK ON THE BODY" COULD MEAN "DON'T TURN YOUR GODDAMN BACK ON THE VERY MUCH ALIVE GUY STANDING RIGHT NEXT TO YOU BECAUSE HE ALSO HAPPENS TO POSSESS A BODY AND THAT MOTHERFUCKER IS ABOUT TO SHANK YOU."
IT COULD EVEN MEAN SOME NONDESCRIPT BODY OF WATER, WHICH IS SURROUNDING US FROM ALL SIDES ON THIS SHITLAND.
HOW IN THE FUCK IS THAT HELPFUL IN ANY RESPECT?!

[It isn't my duty to explain simple concepts.
When I say "don't turn your back on the body" it means what it means.
If you can't figure it out then it may be already too late.
Tell me, Mr. Vantas.
Are you next?]

NOW YOU'RE JUST TALKING IN CIRCLES BECAUSE YOU GET A KICK OUT OF FUCKING WITH ME.
GOD DAMMIT, NO.
I AM NOT "NEXT."
I SAW THAT SCRAWLED ON THE WALLS INSIDE THE METEOR.
I KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.
THERE IS LIKE A 97% CHANCE I'M STILL NOT "NEXT."
THE 3% I'M NOT SURE ABOUT BUT THE 97% I AM REALLY FUCKING SURE ABOUT.
IT MIGHT EVEN BE LIKE 97.5% NOW?
BUT I'M JUST GOING TO SAY 3% FOR THE SAKE OF WHOLE PERCENTAGES.
OR IF YOU MEAN A DIFFERENT TYPE OF "NEXT"
THEN I GUESS THAT'S UP TO YOU, ISN'T IT.
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU.

[You're the only one creating a circular conversation.
I am only moving with the circle out of politeness.
If you want to stop this discussion then it is up to you to make the first move.]

BASED ON A TRUE STORY. FUCK ALL OF YOU.

no subject

I SHOULD REALLY BE GETTING READY FOR WORK NOW BUT YOU KNOW SOMETIMES SOME COMMENTS ARE TOO EASY.

tag all the erins

SORRY THIS HERD OF ERINS IS SO SLOW.

no subject

lmfao

SORRY I'M LATE I AM THE SLOWEST JACKASS.

i can be a slower jackass than you can

I'M A LESS-SLOW JACKASS BUT JUST THIS TIME.

no subject

http://thoughtformed.dreamwidth.org/554329.html?thread=24482393#cmt24482393 THEIR FAULT, NOT MINE.

why this