[ audikco parrot ]

[fuckincakewake]

So who wants the deets on the totally real treasure that'll get you guys off this rock?

The only catch is if you get you, you gotta take somebody I know with you.

Also buying me a drink wouldn't hurt.

Comments

[thneed]

[ where did you even get those chairs? ]

Did you want water?

[fuckincakewake]

Nope.

[thneed]

Wha do y- Are you serious?

[ UGHH mumbling. wanders off and comes back with a bottle. ]

Better?

[fuckincakewake]

[ Good boy. Takes the bottle, beaming smile. So kind of you. ]

So if you find this thing and you leave, you'll take somebody I know with you, right?

[thneed]

Yeah. If they're not the most annoying person ever. I could take someone with me.

You'd probably have whoever this is on the ship stowaway on my ship anyway.

[fuckincakewake]

He's not that annoying. And he wouldn't stowaway, he's not like me.

I need you to like, get him away from me.

[ Picks some lint off her skirt, which is a bit too short for this universe, isn't it?? ]

[thneed]

Away from you? What do you mean? Who is this person again?

[ yes. not that he noticed... or anything...
girl have some modesty ]

[fuckincakewake]

[ Thoughtful little noise, taking a drink before replying. ]

Kinda my husband maybe?

[thneed]

Husband? But- [ whaaaaaaaaat ] Wait.

[ points at ] What do you mean kinda maybe? You're married or not married!

[fuckincakewake]

[ Rolls her eyes. ]

Geez, when did you become the fucking marriage expert. Okay, then not? I mean, I peaced out before the wedding went down, so fiancee? Whatever one you wanna call it, that's him.

[thneed]

Fiancee. What was wrong with the guy?

[fuckincakewake]

[ Taking her time with this drink. ]

Nothing, he's cool. He just has better stuff to do than trying to track me down. So whoever gets away from this rock will take him too. If I'm here and he's not, he can't chase me around anymore.

[thneed]

So what you're saying is you're going to stay here while someone takes your fiancee away?

[fuckincakewake]

Sure. Here is cool. Lots of people here need help. He's not one of them. I'm not gonna be responsible for him getting hurt here, so yeah. Get him gone.

[thneed]

Oh. Huh. [ slouches ] I didn't really think we'd be leaving without you when we got here. I mean if he's cool I don't see why you wouldn't just... leave with the guy. You don't have to marry him.

[fuckincakewake]

[ Eyebrow raise. ]

Look, he's cool as in I don't want him to die. Pirates still get that right? You know, not wishing someone any active harm but also knowing you can't hang out together. There's gotta be a piratey word for it.

[ Fussing with her hair. ]

Anyway, why would you assume I'd leave with you? I'm still not on your crew.

[thneed]

I get that, yeah. I could drop him off wherever away from here.

[ tiny shrug. ]

Just thought- Mm. No. No reason. This island is terrible though you can do better than this dump.

[fuckincakewake]

Yeah, but if I peace out and abandon him here, he's trapped forever and that commodore will totally waste him. And if I go with him, then we're in the same situation we were before the whole island shenanigans, so if he leaves and I stay then it'll be settled.

[ Swirling the liquid around the bottle. ]

I'll never see him or any of you guys again.

[ Toothy grin. ]

Why, were you getting used to having me around?

[thneed]

Or you both come off the island and then ditch him somewhere and then you can be not stuck here.

[ don't leave :c ]

[ straightens himself out when she grins ]

As used to as anyone could get to a constant pain in their rear. I'm just sayin' you'd be better off sticking around.

[fuckincakewake]

But I'm not a pirate. I'm a rogue! Totally different.

[ Reclines and takes a few more sips from the booze. ]

Anyway, there's your secret.

[thneed]

You could always become a pirate.

[ blinks ]

You didn't tell me anything about the treasure yet. That's not the secret.

[fuckincakewake]

I told you I'd tell you a secret. You picked the one about my dude.

[thneed]

That shouldn't count! You said you were going to give details about the treasure. I got you a drink and agreed to take your guy!