Backdated to earlier this morning

[callbacks]

dave this is future you
youre not going to school today
dont bother trying to call in sick it wont work
theres nothing i can do for you
im sorry
honestly
you have no idea how sincere im being right now
the best you can do is probably turn off your phone and try not to talk to anyone but we both know thats not happening
im leaving now though im not prolonging this bullshit any longer for either of us than i have to
just wanted to warn you man
later

Comments

[callbacks]

no john this is hands down the worst thing that has ever happened to me here
like
being a sword with no memories was better than this
food poisoning was better than this

[riseup]

pfffffffft.
yeah, ok dave.
sounds to me like you are just being melodramatic again.
not being able to lie isn't that bad.

[callbacks]

hey john
you know besides the blow to my cool not being able to say things ironically is
guess how many people have trusted me with sensitive information they wouldnt want other people knowing

[riseup]

more than one?
why would they do that?
that's stupid.
they're stupid.

[callbacks]

youre stupid

[riseup]

duh, i know i'm stupid.
i just didn't expect anyone else to be as stupid as me.

[riseup]

that was kind of jerkish and i didn't mean for it to be.
sorry.

[callbacks]

dude
i guess its my job to tell you this
a lot of things you say are jerkish but you dont mean for them to be
its ok
im pretty sure nobody actually cares when you say them

also no not that many people have told me stuff they havent told other people i guess but any time someone asks a question i answer it without thinking

[riseup]

no, sometimes i do mean them.
it's like 70/30.

[riseup]

any question?

[callbacks]

yes
shit
see i didnt want to answer that

[riseup]

cool.
in your professional opinion, how many striders is too many striders?

[callbacks]

no amount of striders is too many striders

[riseup]

i guess you are biased.
the world is ending and you don't have your timey powers.
you're given the choice to save either snoop dogg or ben stiller.
who do you save?

[callbacks]

if i die can they both be saved

[riseup]

no, dumbass.
they both die if you die.

[callbacks]

stiller
i have indirectly touched his weirdly gaunt face so thats one less degree of separation
why would you hurt me like this

[riseup]

because asking stupid questions is more fun than all the drama bombs everyone has been dropping.
f/m/k: sweet bro, hella jeff and geromy.

[callbacks]

what the fuck
theyre my children
goddammit
ok fuck sweet bro kill hella jeff and marry the new friend geromy
i mean seriously look at his face
if you had to choose which nic cage movie youd be stuck in for the rest of your life which one would it be

"""""""""""super awesome""""""""""""""

[riseup]

kill the blue dude, i see how it is.
oh man, just one?
can i mash ghost rider, city of angels and national treasure up into one super awesome mega-movie?

[callbacks]

sure
you could try

[riseup]

and it would be the best movie!!!
who was your favorite person you kissed during the demon mistletoe crisis?

fjdkfdjk we're pretending I actually got back to my mistletoe logs

[callbacks]

minako
have you seen her
because hot damn
what about you

we're pretending i did any besides vriska

[riseup]

dude, i still can't believe you macked on one of the sailor moons.
that is pretty legendary.
and kkkkkkkkissing vriska was actually awesome.

[riseup]

whoa, seriously?
ok.
wow.
i wasn't expecting that to work.
but i guess it really was!