(no subject)

[alwaysimpure]

[Have a view of a slightly frustrated Sirius Black, New Moore. He is unaffected by the event, but already fantastical enough to kind of fit the setting well enough anyway. And he has an announcement to make.]

A couple of things, since there seems to be widespread misinformation concerning my person.

For one, I'm a wizard, not a witch.

I do not have a gingerbread house. That seems awfully impractical, anyway.

I do not want, need or have any step-children. Or biological children, for that matter.

I also do not live anywhere called Oz and Oz isn't my name, either.

I have never cursed anyone to sleep for some ridiculously long and weirdly specific amount of time.

That said: Yes, I might be the fairest in all the land.

Also, I might not be an evil queen, but if people keep insisting on trying to eat my store and ask me to curse them so they can get true love's kiss, I might become a very irritable wizard, which is much the same.

Comments

[callbacks]

do you have a tower

[alwaysimpure]

...why?

[callbacks]

you might get less confusion if you had a huge tower instead of a little shop
i mean who ever heard of a gingerbread tower

[alwaysimpure]

Don't happen to have a tower at hand.

They'd probably think I'm locking princesses up there, if I'm getting this trend right.

1/3

[callbacks]

yeah that wouldve been my next question
though personally im asking after princes

[callbacks]

not for me

[callbacks]

im looking for my bros

[thneed]

You know, those denials all seem oddly specific.
Are you sure you're not secretly someone horrific?

[alwaysimpure]

...

What's secret about that?

[thneed]

What? So you are horrific?
Like an anti-love evil mystic?

[alwaysimpure]

Sure, whatever you say.
I'm evil all night and day.

[thneed]

Uhh- You're not suppose to go along with my joke.
You're supposed to deny being evil, you bloke.

[atadbiased]

A gingerbread house really is impractical. It would melt and get soggy in the rain.

[alwaysimpure]

I know, right? That story doesn't make a whole lot of sense.

Mind, the people howling after they break their teeth off in the bricks are kind of entertaining.

[atadbiased]

That would be entertaining, in a schadenfreude kind of way.

[alwaysimpure]

I have a lot of appreciation for entertanment, in a schadenfreude kind of way. I'm awful, really.

[easy_a]

I might have to disagree with the "fairest in the land," bit.

[Just not completely.]

[alwaysimpure]

Well.

That was before I saw you, obviously.

[easy_a]

[Good answer, good sir.]

Obviously. But if it's any consolation, you were marginally close.

[alwaysimpure]

[He tries, he tries.]

Could care less, other than how that'd put me close to you, love.

[easy_a]

You might have to... put forth a bit more physical effort in order to do that.

[swordhappy]

You do not even dress gaudily enough, to be a proper sorcerer either.

[alwaysimpure]

...

[He looks down himself, a hint of uncertainty crossing his face.

He is a proper wizard, though, not a sorcerer, so yes, he can live with that.]

How do sorcerers dress, generally?

[swordhappy]

Brighter colors, rich fabrics, and I believe ostentatious jewels and spangles are in order.

[alwaysimpure]

D'you think it would fit me? Maybe that's the change in my life I've been looking for.