[ video ]

[therecipe]

[ she taps the screen once points it around her, showing the street she's on before aiming it back at herself ]

Where am I?

Like really am? Really-really? I got the entire you're-fictional bit but I'm going to keep my skeptical mindset about that one for a while and skip questioning that and go right to what planet are we on? Where on what planet? You can't be too sure these days. And the year? -Is The Doctor here?

Does anyone know?

Comments

[therecipe]

I would. A very specific traveling Doctor and I found two. I think I'm very good at finding things today.

[chronosexual]

I would certainly say so.

Captain Jack Harkness. I was a former travelling partner of The Doctor.

[therecipe]

Clara Oswald. Nice to meet you, Captain. What kind of captain are you? Which version were you traveling with?

[chronosexual]

Used to be an army Captain long ago. I got picked up by the one with the ears and again with the one with the sideburns. How about you? Which lucky devil got to travel with you?

[therecipe]

That's brilliant. I was Captain once for a day. I did such a good job the emperor of the universe proposed to me. Really. ...Two Doctors though. I didn't know he loops around and gets people back again. Did a lot of time pass in between? Mine is the chin with the bowtie.

[chronosexual]

Oh yeah. A lot of time passed. Would have taken off without me if I hadn't chased him down. It's a long and heartbreaking story if you want me to share it with you. Perhaps over a drink?

[therecipe]

How much time? Chasing him down is difficult. You must be really skilled at that. ...Heartbreaking? Is it going to make me cry my eyes out? Is the drink coffee? Sharing stories with someone who gets it sounds nice.

[chronosexual]

It can be if you'd like. I was thinking something with a bit of a bite to it, but coffee is good too.

Can you believe I waited almost two hundred years for him to show up at my doorstep? And then when I find him again, he just tries to jet off without me. If that isn't the definition of rude, I'm not sure what is.

[therecipe]

You can have your bite and I'll drink tea.

I might. Wait. Two hundred years? -How old are you? ...He's very rude sometimes. Depends on the face. I think chin is a little nicer personally. The Tardis is the rude one.

[chronosexual]

Tell me about it. But I think it was both her and him trying to get rid of me. Took us all the way to the end of the universe, actually.

Yes. Two hundred years. But a lady never tells her age.

[therecipe]

Now why would they want to get rid of you?

Are you human?

[chronosexual]

It's complicated. I am human, but I'm a little broken. I hope that fact doesn't turn you cold to me. I don't think I could stand it if one of The Doctor's lovely companions took issue with me.

[therecipe]

Not at all. I'm a little broken too. Differently but... I get it. No cold Clara for you.

[chronosexual]

Then I guess we can be his broken misfit children together. How did it happen for you, if I may?

[therecipe]

It's nice to have company in the misfit club. How did I get broken, you mean?

[chronosexual]

I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours.

[therecipe]

Deal.

Do I get my tea first?

[chronosexual]

I'll even buy. I'd invite you to a little place I know called New Brew but... since its owner left the island, it's shut down for now until we can figure out what to do with it.

I suppose Starbox will have to do for now. It's still decent at least.

[therecipe]

Starbox?

[chronosexual]

Not the worst of the terrible knockoff names, anyway.

[therecipe]

Is everything in there all knockoff and wonky? And you order a large twenty instead of grande venti because the knockoff can't do Italian or it's copyright infringement?

[chronosexual]

I don't know. We just used normal words at our coffee shop, but it's a safe bet that you're exactly dead on.

Clever one, you are. I can see why he likes you.

[therecipe]

One of my best qualities. Thank you.

So where is this knockoff franchise place? Do I meet you there?

[chronosexual]

It's toward the centre of town, pretty much in the same places that all of the other restaurants are. You can tell you've found it because it has a bunch of twenty-somethings in their teenage sister's clothes hanging around outside. Also the sign has a chubby mermaid.

[therecipe]

What? Other restaurants too? Hows about I get the tea and then we'll sit somewhere not surrounded by hipsters ironically partaking in knockoff Starbucks? ...Isn't a chubby mermaid just a mammoth?