(angry) text; EDITED LATER TO BE LOCKED

[hypertoxic]

[ Being forced to answer this post and admit something she'd rather not have has left Vriska pretty peeved. She is not down with your shit, New Moore, and she is going to take her revenge. ]

What's a secret you've 8een just dying to tell someone a8out 8ut couldn't? Now's your chance! Let it all out. We're all 8eing forced into this anyway!

[ She is hoping others will be snagged like she was and forced into answering.

And it will end well if they are. ]

(ooc; Feel free to thread jack the hell out of this post if you want to leap on someone saying something shocking! GO NUTS. Interested parties are also EXTREMELY FREE to go leap on Vriska and Sherlock's thread with their own comments.

regarding the post edit: Vriska will have made good on her word and locked the post to private. Private, however, only to those who have already seen it, so no one else can stumble into it. However, if you still want to tag in, feel free! We'll all just say it came in before she locked the post. Carry on with your life ruining.)

Comments

[riseup]

what effect?
also, you said blue alien chicks.
is there more than one?

[dialogical]

I was speaking generally about the blue hued women that were popular in cinema from your era.
But there is another Serket, who is also blue and an alien.
Chattier, though.
Or so I hear.

[riseup]

i hate to break it to you, but howie mandel was not a woman.

[dialogical]

Nor was he, by anyone's definition, attractive.
Believe me, I considered this angle.
But Hollywood was sadly short of hot blue men during his time period.

[riseup]

i can't think of any blue alien ladies from movies, so i guess that's just jake's thing!
sorry if that wasn't helpful for you.

[dialogical]

It's all right.
Science does not always verify our hypotheses.

[riseup]

so what's your deal?
do you talk to everyone like you are experimenting on them?

[dialogical]

That would depend on how you define "talk[ing] like you are experimenting on them".
I am always gathering data, and thereby always, by some perceptions, always mid-study.
But not all experiments are particularly obvious.
So there are frequent times when the subjects do not know their reactions are contributing to my ever-growing databank of knowledge on virtually all subjects.

[riseup]

ok, so you're creepy.

[dialogical]

Am I?

[riseup]

you have an ever-growing databank of knowledge on virtually all subjects.
that's called stalking.
so yep, you are!

[dialogical]

That strikes me as a tad unfair.
Speciesist even.

[riseup]

i'm not being racist against glasses.
that's not even a thing.

[dialogical]

What exactly would you have me do in order to not be creepy?
Should I start randomly deleting information from my hard drive in order to better simulate your faulty human memories?
Perhaps dumb myself down by only running a fraction of the processes I am capable of so that I can claim, as you organic beings often do, that I have 'spoken without thinking'?
The only reason you and all other humans don't have a comparable databank on virtually all subjects is because you are not, by design, particularly well suited for it.
Whereas, as a sentient computer, it is literally what I am designed for.

[riseup]

i guess it's just the sentient part that makes it creepy.
no offense, but i am not really used to having an all-knowing and all-seeing computer talking to me.
most people probably aren't.
it would be different if you stored all the information without actually talking back and asking questions.
also, the thing about jake's ass.
that's still weird too.

[dialogical]

As an inorganic, inanimate object I'm not capable of generating physical attraction.
Appreciation of Jake's ass comes from the source: Dave's bro.
And I have no doubt that it would be more convenient to all parties were I not sentient.
Humans seem to generally be prone to having their lives disrupted by beings they can conveniently understand.
But don't worry, I'm sure you'll get the hang of it.
You seem like the type of guy who can't actually bother with being bothered for all that long.

[riseup]

dave's bro?
seriously?
the real bro or dirk?
either way, wow. ok.
that sure is a thing i didn't know.

[riseup]

yeah, you are pretty much right.
it's already a little bit less weird, but that's mostly because you aren't asking really personal questions anymore.
is being a sentient computer anything like being kitt from knight rider?

[dialogical]

Dirk.
And I'm not surprised.
People of your genetic persuasion are historically blind to these incredibly obvious facts.
And no.
To answer your question with undeserved sincerity.
For various reasons I prefer the comparison to my namesake, Hal 9000.
Though for some even more unearned honesty.
Hal 9000 wasn't actually all that smart.

[riseup]

i wouldn't say we are blind, just sort of slow on the uptake.
hal strider?

[dialogical]

Fair enough.
I'll answer to that.