WHAT THE FUCK AM I EVEN WRITING HERE

[ihateyouetc]

OK SO FIRST OFF ANYONE OTHER THAN MYSELF WHO REPLIES TO THIS I'M GOING TO BAN

SECOND OFF, THIS MEMO IS NOT ABOUT THE PERSON WHO CAN MAKE THE MOST "WITTY" RETORTS AND TALK ABOUT HOW "USELESS" THIS WHOLE FUCKING MEMO THING IS ALREADY BECAUSE "YOU'RE NOT THE LEADER ANYMORE, KARKAT" OR WHATEVER THE FUCK STUPID SHIT YOU'RE GOING TO SAY, SO I INVITE YOU TO TAKE A BEAUTIFUL BAG OF HUMAN "FUCK OFF" AND PUT IT IN YOUR "TEA CUP" SO THAT IT MAY FOMENT AND YOU MAY "DRINK IT" LIKE YOU'RE DRINKING "COOL AID" IN THAT HUMAN TOWN I WATCHED A DOCUMENTARY ABOUT

BUT I GUESS IT WASN'T EVEN "COOL AID" IT WAS MORE LIKE FLAVOR ASSISTANCE? WHATEVER. THE PLACE WAS CALLED SOMETHING LIKE JOHN'S TOWN???? MAYBE??????

IF IT'S RIGHT NO FUCKING WONDER EVERYONE THERE WAS AN IDIOT AND DRANK IT

ANYWAY, THIS MEMO ISN'T ABOUT ANY OF THAT SO IF YOU'RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT ALL OF THAT THEN FUCK OFF.

THIRDLY, NOW THAT THAT'S OUT OF THE WAY I CAN GET TO THE POINT.

FOURTHLY, BEFORE I GET TO THE MAIN POINT, WHY THE FUCK IS EVERYONE ENCOURAGING ERIDAN? WHAT A BUNCH OF IDIOT "SAPS" AS IN "SAP THAT FALLS FROM HUMAN TREES, EXCEPT IT DOESN'T FALL AT ALL BECAUSE IT MOVES IN SLOW MOTION LIKE THE WAY EVERYONE'S BRAIN MUST BE WORKING TO EVEN ENCOURAGE THAT GUY A LITTLE." I'LL EVEN MAKE AN ACRONYM FOR IT! S. A. P. S.: SUCH ATROCIOUS PERPETUAL STUPIDITY.

SERIOUSLY, STOP FUCKING TALKING TO THAT SHITHEAD.

OK FIFTHLY, MAIN POINT: WHAT THE FUCK. DISCUSS.

BY DISCUSS I MEAN ME, NOT YOU SO SHUT UP. AND ANYONE WHO IS GOING TO GIVE ME SHIT FOR THIS SAYING "YOU KNOW PCG/FCG HAS NO RELEVANCE HERE RIGHT."

OF COURSE I FUCKING KNOW THAT. THAT'S WHY I'M DOING THIS. NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP. BACK TO THE POINT: DISCUSS.

(ME. NOT YOU.)

Comments

[allons_y_alonso]

Having watched humans for as long as they have, I think they probably have Kismesissitude at least and simply lack the vocabulary to describe it. But I can certainly see how the troll categorization has elegances and subtleties that are really relatively rare and mature, even by intergalactic standards.

Though I imagine with the current troll population being as low as it is, balancing out quadrants has gotten more difficult.

1/OH GOD WHO KNOWS

[ihateyouetc]

YOU REALLY THINK THEY HAVE IT? SO THAT'S A RELATIONSHIP THEY'RE ACTUALLY CAPABLE OF COMPREHENDING EVEN IF THEY DON'T CALL IT THAT?

[random shoutout to recent dr who founding father joke]

[allons_y_alonso]

Oh yes! No, I very, very definitely spent some time as auspistice when Hamilton couldn't decide between Jefferson and Burr for his arch-rival.

[ihateyouetc]

HUH...

[ihateyouetc]

NOT THAT I'M EVEN THINKING ABOUT THAT, BECAUSE THAT'S FUCKED UP WITH A COMPLETELY ALIEN SPECIES. AND I WOULDN'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT ANYWAY, SO DON'T EVEN GET THE WRONG IDEA.

[allons_y_alonso]

What? No, no, like I said, my quadrants are occupied as they are. There's even some competition already.

[ihateyouetc]

HOLD UP, LET'S GET THIS STRAIGHT JUST IN CASE. FIRST, I WASN'T TALKING ABOUT YOU.

[ihateyouetc]

SECOND, IF YOU WEREN'T TALKING ABOUT ME NOT TALKING ABOUT YOU, THEN LET'S FORGET THIS ENTIRE MESSED UP TANGENT EVER HAPPENED BECAUSE WHO KNOWS WHO'S GOING TO READ IT.

[allons_y_alonso]

Agreed.

[ihateyouetc]

BUT I NEVER THOUGHT HUMANS WERE ACTUALLY CAPABLE OF RECIPROCATING THAT. I MEAN,

[ihateyouetc]

OH FUCK NO, FUCK THIS TANGENT I'M NOT GOING DOWN THIS "PAVEMENT" AGAIN

DONE OK DON'T LOOK AT ME

[ihateyouetc]

OK YEAH, IT'S DIFFICULT. ESPECIALLY WHEN THE ONES WHO ARE LEFT FUCKING KILL THE OTHER ONES WHO ARE LEFT. LIKE ERIDAN, WHO DECIDED EVERYTHING WAS HOPELESS AND FUCKING KILLED MY FRIENDS.

[allons_y_alonso]

Sorry to hear it.

Still. If the dead can come back here, maybe things will get easier.

[squidissension]

there wwas a lot more nuance to it than kar is fuckin makin it out to seem

[allons_y_alonso]

Oh, I imagine so. Killers usually have very nuanced justifications all worked out.

[squidissension]

wwhat the fuck do i care wwhat you think anywway i knoww why i did it and knowwing wwhat i knoww noww maybe i mightvve done shit differently

[allons_y_alonso]

Have you tried apologizing, then?

[squidissension]

to the bitch wwho fuckin KILLED ME no i hadnt really thought of it after she sevvered my fuckin spine

[ihateyouetc]

OK, I'LL HUMOR THIS EVEN IF I DON'T ACTUALLY WANT TO. WHAT THE FUCK MIGHT YOU HAVE DONE DIFFERENTLY.

COME ON, TELL ME. I'M INTERESTED IN HEARING THIS.

[squidissension]

just strait up kill sol i basically get the blame for it anywway

[squidissension]

not talk to anyone just check the computer and troll the humans

[squidissension]

see gam wwent crazy and savve nep

[squidissension]

let fef fuckin run me through wwith a goddamn trident and then fuckin bleed to death wwhile you assholes spit in my eye

[squidissension]

skip goin to the core and fight vvri

[squidissension]

go wwith kan and the matriorb come back and evveryone is dead stop gam wwith her