There are nine thousand tales in the City of Chains...

[tallishtales.livejournal.com]

But I'll wager not one of them is quite like mine. And now, here I am in a whole new city of stories, all of them just piled up and waiting to be told, and nobody with any real flair to tell them until now.

So! Fellow refugees of narrative! Let me know why your story needs to be told. I'll make you famous. Immortal, you could say. And my rates are very reasonable. You can find me any evening down at the Nancing Phony (and never was an inn better named), and assuming you're properly heroic, we should be able to work out a distribution deal pretty painlessly.  Varric Tethras, at your service.

Comments

[squidissension]

im the only one wwhos killed some a us

[tallishtales.livejournal.com]

All right. Tell me why, in these battles to the death, the audience should be rooting for you.

[squidissension]

wwhat is rootin wwhat do i care about that

[tallishtales.livejournal.com]

Cheering. Applauding. Hoping you win?

[squidissension]

oh wwell they wwerent really battles to the death i mean if i wwas battlin somebody itd be pretty fuckin pointless if i murdered them

[tallishtales.livejournal.com]

So... you're a murderer.

[squidissension]

yeah of the future fuckin empress and some bitch wwho cant stay dead

[tallishtales.livejournal.com]

And were your motives for this... altruistic? Was the Empress going to lead your people to ruin?

Not staying dead, though, that's a nice touch. Say what you will about shades and abominations, they always make the audience sit up and pay attention.

[squidissension]

wwere fuckin talkin about me here can wwe avvoid complimenting the rainboww slurpin slag wwho murdered me right the fuck back

[tallishtales.livejournal.com]

A good opponent makes you more interesting, Horns. It gives your life conflict and definition!

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kan wwasnt an opponent she wwas my friend until she killed me wwhen i didnt even kill her first

[squidissension]

no she wwasnt doin anythin wwrong she nevver did anythin wwrong in her life

[tallishtales.livejournal.com]

So what made you do it, then? A terrible curse? A clash between honor and duty that you couldn't reconcile? Unrequited love? Give me something to work with that doesn't make you sound like a lunatic, Horns.

[squidissension]

i beat the shit out a her shitty lowwblood neww boyfriend and she tried to stab me wwith a fuckin trident

[squidissension]

she wwouldvve been happier if id been culled at birth

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[squidissension]

[squidissension]

shes not dead NOWW now that i havve to explain shit to you

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