WHAT THE FUCK AM I EVEN WRITING HERE

[ihateyouetc]

OK SO FIRST OFF ANYONE OTHER THAN MYSELF WHO REPLIES TO THIS I'M GOING TO BAN

SECOND OFF, THIS MEMO IS NOT ABOUT THE PERSON WHO CAN MAKE THE MOST "WITTY" RETORTS AND TALK ABOUT HOW "USELESS" THIS WHOLE FUCKING MEMO THING IS ALREADY BECAUSE "YOU'RE NOT THE LEADER ANYMORE, KARKAT" OR WHATEVER THE FUCK STUPID SHIT YOU'RE GOING TO SAY, SO I INVITE YOU TO TAKE A BEAUTIFUL BAG OF HUMAN "FUCK OFF" AND PUT IT IN YOUR "TEA CUP" SO THAT IT MAY FOMENT AND YOU MAY "DRINK IT" LIKE YOU'RE DRINKING "COOL AID" IN THAT HUMAN TOWN I WATCHED A DOCUMENTARY ABOUT

BUT I GUESS IT WASN'T EVEN "COOL AID" IT WAS MORE LIKE FLAVOR ASSISTANCE? WHATEVER. THE PLACE WAS CALLED SOMETHING LIKE JOHN'S TOWN???? MAYBE??????

IF IT'S RIGHT NO FUCKING WONDER EVERYONE THERE WAS AN IDIOT AND DRANK IT

ANYWAY, THIS MEMO ISN'T ABOUT ANY OF THAT SO IF YOU'RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT ALL OF THAT THEN FUCK OFF.

THIRDLY, NOW THAT THAT'S OUT OF THE WAY I CAN GET TO THE POINT.

FOURTHLY, BEFORE I GET TO THE MAIN POINT, WHY THE FUCK IS EVERYONE ENCOURAGING ERIDAN? WHAT A BUNCH OF IDIOT "SAPS" AS IN "SAP THAT FALLS FROM HUMAN TREES, EXCEPT IT DOESN'T FALL AT ALL BECAUSE IT MOVES IN SLOW MOTION LIKE THE WAY EVERYONE'S BRAIN MUST BE WORKING TO EVEN ENCOURAGE THAT GUY A LITTLE." I'LL EVEN MAKE AN ACRONYM FOR IT! S. A. P. S.: SUCH ATROCIOUS PERPETUAL STUPIDITY.

SERIOUSLY, STOP FUCKING TALKING TO THAT SHITHEAD.

OK FIFTHLY, MAIN POINT: WHAT THE FUCK. DISCUSS.

BY DISCUSS I MEAN ME, NOT YOU SO SHUT UP. AND ANYONE WHO IS GOING TO GIVE ME SHIT FOR THIS SAYING "YOU KNOW PCG/FCG HAS NO RELEVANCE HERE RIGHT."

OF COURSE I FUCKING KNOW THAT. THAT'S WHY I'M DOING THIS. NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP. BACK TO THE POINT: DISCUSS.

(ME. NOT YOU.)

Comments

[ihateyouetc]

IGNORE VRISKA. SHE HAS NO IDEA WHAT SHE'S TALKING ABOUT.

ANYWAY, NOT GETTING INTO THE COMPLICATED STUFF, TROLL RELATIONSHIPS HAVE TWO DIFFERENT HEMISPHERES. "PITY" and "HATE." SPLIT THE HEMISPHERES IN HALF, YOU HAVE FOUR QUADRANTS: FLUSHED, PALE, CALIGINOUS, AND ASHEN. FLUSHED AND PALE RESIDE IN THE HEMISPHERE OF "PITY." CALIGINOUS AND ASHEN ARE IN THE HEMISPHERE OF "HATE."

IT WORKS LIKE THIS:

MATESPRITSHIP    MOIRALLEGIANCE
KISMESISSITUDE   AUSPISTICIZATION

MATESPRITSHIP IS THE "FLUSHED" QUADRANT WHILE MOIRALLEGIANCE IS THE "PALE." KISMESISSITUDE IS THE "CALIGINOUS" QUADRANT WHILE AUSPISTICIZATION IS THE "ASHEN." MATESPRITSHIP AND MOIRALLEGIANCE ARE IN THE PITY HEMISPHERE WHILE KISMESISSITUDE AND AUSPISTICIZATION ARE IN THE HATE HEMISPHERE.

BUT THAT'S JUST MY DIAGRAM DIVIDED IN HALF HORIZONTALLY. IF WE DIVIDE IT IN HALF VERTICALLY WE HAVE TWO MORE WAYS TO LOOK AT THE FASCINATING RELATIONSHIP POSSIBILITIES. IT SHOWS US WHICH QUADRANTS ARE CONCUPISCENT AND CONCILIATORY.

MATESPRITSHIP AND KISMESISSITUDE ARE CONCUPISCENT AND VITAL TO THE TROLL RACE'S SURVIVAL. IF A TROLL REACHES A CERTAIN AGE AND IS UNABLE TO ACHIEVE CONCUPISCENT RELATIONSHIPS BY THE SPECIFIED TIME FRAME FOR THEIR AGE, HE OR SHE IS CULLED IMMEDIATELY AS A FAILURE. THIS WAY WEAKER TROLLS WHO ARE UNABLE TO FORM PROPER RELATIONSHIPS WITH EACH OTHER ARE REMOVED FROM THE BROAD AND EXPANSIVE GENE POOL. CONCILIATORY RELATIONSHIPS (MOIRALLEGIANCE AND AUSPISTICIZATION) ARE REQUIRED FOR AN INDIVIDUAL TROLL'S SURVIVAL, BUT A TROLL WHO FILLS THE CONCILIATORY QUADRANTS WHILE NOT FILLING THE CONCUPISCENT QUADRANTS WILL STILL BE CULLED AS A FAILURE.

TO MAKE THIS EVEN EASIER FOR YOU, I'M GOING TO LAY IT OUT LIKE A PARALLEL TO HUMAN RELATIONSHIPS

PITY - CONCUPISCENT - FLUSHED - MATESPRITSHIP - HUMAN MARRIAGE BETWEEN HUMAN AND HUMAN UNTIL DEATH DO THEY PART WHATEVER
PITY - CONCILIATORY - PALE - MOIRALLEGIANCE - SOUL MATES, LOOKING AFTER SOMEONE TO MAKE SURE THEY DON'T FUCK UP, SOMEONE LOOKING AFTER YOU TO MAKE SURE YOU DON'T FUCK UP
HATE - CONCUPISCENT - CALIGINOUS - KISMESISSITUDE - HUMAN RIVALRY, HATING SOMEONE SO FUCKING MUCH BUT I GUESS FINDING THEM ATTRACTIVE? THAT SEEMS TO BE WHAT I GET FROM WATCHING THESE BORING MOVIES AND LOOKING AT SOME FUCKING BORING BOOKS
HATE - CONCILIATORY - ASHEN - AUSPISTICIZATION - TWO ENEMIES WHO ARE CONSTANTLY AT EACH OTHER'S THROATS BUT THEY HAVE A THIRD MEDIATING BETWEEN THEM. THIS IS AN AUSPISTICE. THE AUSPISTICE KEEPS THIS RELATIONSHIP FROM TURNING INTO A FULL-BLOWN KISMESISSITUDE.

ERIDAN WAS SOLICITING YOU FOR A CONCUPISCENT QUADRANT AND YOU TOTALLY PUT HIM IN A CONCILIATORY ONE.

AND JUST BECAUSE WE HAVE THOSE DOESN'T MEAN WE DON'T HAVE OTHER RELATIONSHIPS, TOO. WE'RE CAPABLE OF JUST HATING SOMEONE OR JUST PITYING SOMEONE. "FRIEND" AND "ENEMY" HAVE THE SAME DEFINITION FOR US, BUT THE HUMAN DEFINITION IS DIFFERENT. THE HUMAN EMOTION CALLED FRIENDSHIP SPREADS AMONG TROLLS PRETTY QUICKLY IF WE'RE NOT CAREFUL.

[squidissension]

yeah but youre the one wwhos spreadin that human disease you and vvri are completely sullyin what remainin troll relationships wwe havve left wwith that disease

[ihateyouetc]

OH FUCK YOU

WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO??? PUT THEM IN THE QUADRANTS?????????????? THEY DON'T EVEN FUCKING GET IT.

[ihateyouetc]

ALSO I HATE TO BE THE ONE TO TELL YOU DUDE BUT I'M PRETTY SURE VRISKA ISN'T JUST OUT FOR A HUMAN EMOTIONAL FRIENDSHIP.

[squidissension]

she better not be if she knowws wwhats good for her

[ihateyouetc]

I'M JUST SAYING YOU SHOULD PROBABLY MOVE ON. YOU KNOW, LIKE YOU SHOULD HAVE BEFORE ALL THIS SHIT STARTED.

[megalovania.livejournal.com]

[ihateyouetc]

WHAT.

[allons_y_alonso]

Fascinating. That's an excellent system! My life would have been a lot simpler before now if I could have just come up to someone and said 'be quiet, this is for your own good, I'm moirail to your planet.' Not that that's exactly how it works, but.

So how many sweeps is Eridan from culling, then?

[ihateyouetc]

I KNOW! AND NOBODY ELSE GETS IT. IT'S SO DETAILED AND THERE'S SO MANY NUANCES TO IT. IT'S SO MUCH BETTER THAN THAT BORING HUMAN ROMANCE SHIT THAT EGBERT LIKES SO MUCH. SERIOUSLY, HE WON'T STOP GOING ON AND ON AND ON ABOUT THAT SHIT NOBODY CARES ABOUT.

[allons_y_alonso]

Having watched humans for as long as they have, I think they probably have Kismesissitude at least and simply lack the vocabulary to describe it. But I can certainly see how the troll categorization has elegances and subtleties that are really relatively rare and mature, even by intergalactic standards.

Though I imagine with the current troll population being as low as it is, balancing out quadrants has gotten more difficult.

[ihateyouetc]

CAN'T SAY. IT WAS DIFFERENT FOR ALL OF US ON THE PLANET SINCE IT DEPENDS ON WHENEVER THE IMPERIAL DRONES SHOW UP. THERE'S NO SPECIFIC TIME FRAME AND FROM WHAT I CAN TELL FROM THE MOVIES THEY DON'T ALL SHOW UP AT THE SAME TIME. THE MOVIES ARE PRETTY UNRELIABLE IN THAT ASPECT AND I GUESS IT REQUIRES A CERTAIN SUSPENSION OF DISBELIEF? MAYBE ONE OR TWO SWEEPS AFTER A TROLLS HIT MATURITY THEY COULD SHOW UP AT ANY TIME, BUT USUALLY THREE SWEEPS PROBABLY?? THE MOVIES ALWAYS HAD THEM SHOWING UP LIKE WHEN THE CHARACTERS WERE LIKE NINE SWEEPS. I GUESS IT ADDS TO THE ELEMENT OF URGENCY AND THE FACT WE NEED TO HURRY THE FUCK UP WHEN WE DON'T ACTUALLY KNOW FOR SURE.

REALISTICALLY THOUGH THE ACTORS WHO WERE PLAYING THE CHARACTERS IN THE MOVIES WERE AT LEAST LIKE TEN OR ELEVEN SWEEPS, BUT IT WAS PROBABLY A LONG TIME AGO BEFORE *ALL* THE ADULTS GOT SENT AWAY TO FIGHT ALL THE ALTERNIAN WARS.

[allons_y_alonso]

Are there still drones around to do that, then?

[squidissension]

the only person highblood enough to cull me is fef but thanks for fuckin askin

[allons_y_alonso]

I was asking, not approving. You'll find someone before your deadline!

[allons_y_alonso]

Does someone's moirail ever act as auspistice between them and another species someone else? How exclusive are each of these quadrants meant to be?

[ihateyouetc]

SEE THAT'S WHERE THIS GETS COMPLICATED. I'LL BOTHER TO TELL YOU ABOUT IT SINCE YOU ACTUALLY GET IT, UNLIKE EVERY OTHER THICKPAN MORON HERE.

[ihateyouetc]

THE QUADRANTS ARE EXCLUSIVE FOR THE MOST PART BUT SOMEONE CAN FILL TWO QUADRANTS. LIKE YOUR KISMESIS CAN BE YOUR MATESPRIT. THEIR POSITION WITHIN THE QUADRANTS WOULD JUST BE VOLATILE. AS A CONSEQUENCE, SOMETIMES YOUR MOIRAIL OR YOUR MATESPRIT/KISMESIS'S MOIRAIL CAN BECOME THE AUSPISTICE WHEN YOUR RELATIONSHIP FALLS INTO A KISMESISSITUDE. BUT SOMETIMES IT'S CUT-AND-DRY. YOU CAN HAVE ONE MOIRAIL. ONE AUSPISTICE. ONE KISMESIS. ONE MATESPRIT.

[allons_y_alonso]

I assume there's much less crossover between the concupiscent and conciliatory than between red and black, then? Although I suppose it would still happen occasionally, that sort of interest being what it is.

[ihateyouetc]

MOIRAILS AND AUSPISTICES ARE REALLY IMPORTANT. REALLY *REALLY* IMPORTANT. MOIRAILS MUTUALLY BENEFIT FROM THE RELATIONSHIP BUT GOOD AUSPISTICING IS KIND OF A THANKLESS JOB. MY DEAD FRIEND DID IT REALLY, REALLY WELL. SHE DIDN'T COMPLAIN ABOUT IT OR ANYTHING, SHE JUST DID IT BECAUSE SHE LIKED TO HELP. SHE WAS SO FUCKING GOOD AT IT EVERYONE WANTED HER AS THEIR AUSPISTICE. BUT NOBODY EVER GAVE A SHIT ABOUT WHAT SHE DID FOR THEM.

[allons_y_alonso]

That's another way you have things in common with humans. Very often they don't even realize their conciliatory relationships exist -- certainly not enough to define or formalize them. And some humans seem to mainly... well, conciliate themselves?

They have a lot of promise, as a species, but a long way to go. Another couple of centuries before they really start to know themselves and the universe in more meaningful ways.

[ihateyouetc]

I WASN'T ANY GOOD AT THANKING HER FOR ANYTHING EITHER.

IT KIND OF PISSES ME OFF WHEN I THINK ABOUT IT LIKE THAT.

[squidissension]

[squidissension]

forget it you wwouldnt believve me anywway

[allons_y_alonso]

I'm sorry.