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They really should accept me to fucking MENSA already.

Oi, New Moore.

Let's play a game!

SHAG/MARRY/CLIFF
or
FUCK/MARRY/KILL
whichever you prefer, really.

You answer completely honestly and then leave your own triad and everyone else answers you and we fuck ourselves over for the conceivable rest of eternity.

Look, I'll even make the first one easy: Ramona, Shepard and that shifty forest bint, Aisling.

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My apologies, once again. However, I might point out that, given the extremely conditional nature of the question, the answers may not say as much as you think they do, and they could certainly be misleading, without knowing my motivations for them.

As I said, I chose to kill Jenny because it would not be permanent for her, unlike you or Anita. Aside from that, my options for the two of you are marrying you or bedding you. Therefore, I would like to point out that my choice here does not reflect my true feelings for either of you, or how much I respect you both.

I would certainly never think to demean either of you, or consider one of you an 'easy lay'. For the most part, I decided the way I did because I thought it likely I would make a better husband for you than for Anita, be able to make you happier than I would make her. I greatly considered which arrangement would be the best for the three of you.

Honestly, though, I mostly picked you because both Jenny and Anita would be problematic as regards Suzumiya-san, seeing as...

[Koizumi makes a chocking sound, finally managing to force himself to stop talking. He closes his eyes a moment to get a hold of himself. His expression is a mixture of horrified, frightened, and determined. When he opens his eyes and begins speaking again, he is speaking very slowly and carefully, his fists clenched and his body extremely tense.]

I... I am sorry, Kate. [His apology is much more genuine than usual, as he doesn't give his usual 'My apologies, Beckett-san', and he is not smiling as he says it.] I did not intend to say any of that. Moreover, I did not even mean to answer the question in the first place, but there was an odd compulsion to do so that I could not resist.

[ooc: I had a better answer written out, but thoughtformed deleted it. :(]

Uh, wow. That's a lot of explanation but I get it.

It's the island. It's making us tell the truth. Or whatever is on our minds, apparently, which is probably the most obnoxious thing ever. You don't need to apologize for something that isn't your fault.

[He's not quite as tense, but he's still speaking slowly, likely so he can try to stop himself if he starts talking about something he should not.]

Yes, I noticed. I seem to be quite severely affected by this - I cannot even seem to keep my phone off, and I seem to be drawn to the most unfortunate sorts of questions. However, I suppose being forced to answer questions like these are not nearly as bad as things could be. I just need to make sure to try and avoid some people for a while, lest I say something unwise.

Is it affecting you as well?

If it was affecting me, I obviously wouldn't have said anything.

[She catches herself, taking his lead and pressing her mouth together so she can try to pace her words.]

I'm avoiding people, too.

I presumed as much, but stopping myself from asking the question anyway was apparently beyond me.

[His usual smile has returned.]

A wise precaution. Perhaps if we continue speaking to each other, we can avoid answering further questions that may incriminate us.

Of course, if there is a chance of me finding out things you would rather I do not, I would understand if you do not wish to. From my perspective, however, I do not believe there is anything I would be particularly averse to you finding out. Something that is emphatically not true of many on the island.

I'm not worried about what I'd find out from you. I'm way more concerned about what you'll find out about me. I'm not real open with people for a reason, normally because it's none of their damn business. And as much as I like you and trust you I don't think there's a lot you wanna know about me.

Very well, I understand. I only figured that if the island were going to make us talk anyway, we might as well do it with someone we trust - though of course we would try to avoid those topics of conversation we might want to hide anyway.

[He blinks a moment in surprise, shaking his head a little. However, he shows no trace of being disappointed or offended by her statement.] Ah, again - more than I meant to say. I was merely explaining my rational for the suggestion in the first place. I hope I find another way to avoid talking to people about things I'd rather they not discover.

If that is the case, then we should probably cease communication to avoid being too open with each other.

Edited 2013-01-14 10:33 (UTC)

Uh, right. That all makes sense, I just have a lot going on with my therapy and things with Castle are a little iffy right now and I'm not going to stop talking am I?

[She moans.]

I really hate this. My personal life is really compromised right now - obviously, I mean you saw how that went on the network a few weeks ago. I'm really worried I'm going to say something that'll screw things up with him.

Apparently not.

[Koizumi's eyebrows draw together, and he looks sympathetic to Kate's plight.]

I understand. I really do. You love him, you care about him enough that you always worry that the next word you say will mean the end of the world. That it will ruin everything. [Koizumi was speaking both metaphorically and literally here - things were a little too dramatic in his own life.] And now you're not even in control of what you say - that could put a strain on any relationship.

On the one hand, it might be better to avoid him until this event is over, but on the other hand, if your relationship survives this, I'd think it should be stronger than ever.

[Koizumi looks quickly horrified with what he's just said.]

Kate, I'm sorry. I didn't - [And there he chokes on his own words, because he can't truthfully say 'I didn't mean it.']

[She wants to argue that she doesn't love him but that would be a lie, so she just looks frustrated instead.]

Don't apologize. You're right and it kind of pisses me off that everyone on this damn island knows more about my relationship than I do. I hate talking about it. I hate talking about my personal life and I've never, ever let a relationship define me but I can't seem to help it when it comes to him. If I didn't have him right now, I don't know what I'd do.

[Koizumi looks slightly miserable, but his expression clears as he sets that aside for Kate's benefit.]

I think that's a bit of an exaggeration.

In all honesty, [No pun intended.] I would say that you should just try not to worry about it that much right now - worrying rarely produces the desired outcome, and it seems to me that oftentimes it makes you nervous enough to make more mistakes than you otherwise would.

It's not really an exaggeration. I'm codependent on him right now and I really hate myself for that. At least, that's what my therapist said it sounded like... I can't believe I'm actually talking about this. And I am worried and you're right, I'm probably gonna screw it up because of that.

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