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They really should accept me to fucking MENSA already.

Oi, New Moore.

Let's play a game!

SHAG/MARRY/CLIFF
or
FUCK/MARRY/KILL
whichever you prefer, really.

You answer completely honestly and then leave your own triad and everyone else answers you and we fuck ourselves over for the conceivable rest of eternity.

Look, I'll even make the first one easy: Ramona, Shepard and that shifty forest bint, Aisling.

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Anita isn't an alien!

I had to pick one of you. If I could just quit the damn game without an answer, I would have. I'm not interested in either of you. Dating Kaylee, crush on Jenny, and whenever the island gives us a female troll over the age of eighteen I ogle and leer. That's more than enough excitement for me already. This isn't exactly shore leave. Getting laid is not a priority.

So, yeah, sue me, if this crazy island made me hop into bed with either you or Blake, I'd pick Blake. If I had to pick which one to bring to a gunfight I'd flip a coin. And if I had to pick an officer to do my job, it'd be you or Beifong, and Blake's not even on the top five.

I need you to get a grip, Beckett. I wasn't asked if we were friends, or if we got along, or if I had a professional respect for you. It's a stupid situation, it was a stupid question, and if any officer but Blake had been subbed onto that list you'd have a case for sexual harassment.

Can we be done with this?

Whoa, I wasn't the one who asked for an oral presentaton. All I did was point out that Blake isn't an alien. Which, considering what we were talking about, was totally a fair point to bring up.

I'm actually pretty relieved you aren't sexuality attracted to me. I enjoy working with men who aren't trying to get into my pants all of the time - Castle being the exception but I like that he tries to get into my pants at work.

[She drags her hand over her face, horrified at this entire conversation.]

I can't help not saying what's on my mind. I'm really trying but what I think it miles away from anything I would actually ever say. Please don't fire me for this. Ugh! [More face-palming.]

I've got the same problem. You're a Hell of a cop, Beckett, and if I could just say that and shut up, believe me, I would.

And look, I'm the last guy who can complain about getting into somebody's pants at work, given what happens more or less every time that Kaylee brings me dinner.

...I really hope that wasn't news, because if it was I'd have to be both embarrassed enough to shoot myself and disappointed in your detective skills.

Knowing what's going on between you and Kaylee doesn't take any detective skills. Pretty sure everyone knows I'm not the only one getting laid in the precinct during lunch breaks.

You're almost as good a boss as the one I had back home. [Alluding to Montgomery is enough to make her pause, trying to gather her emotions.] I know that doesn't mean a lot to you but it means a hell of a lot to me.

Everybody likes being popular.

Thanks, Beckett.

You're welcome, sir.

I'm hanging up now before I say anything else I'll live to regret.

I am writing a bonus onto your next paycheck as we speak.

Small bonus. But still.

[She hangs up. She will be buying him the biggest bottle of booze she can find on the island next chance she gets.]

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