PRETEND I POSTED THIS 10/18/12 BECAUSE I MEANT TO AND I FORGOT.

[ihateyouetc]

OK, OK.
I KNOW THE OTHER NAMES I PICKED WERE KIND OF STUPID.
ESPECIALLY TROLL SARAH JESSICA PARKER.
I MEAN HOLY SHIT.
WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING???
WHY DID I HAVE AN OPINION ON HER AND SARAH JESSICA PARKER?
I DON'T EVEN CARE ABOUT HER.
I'M NOT GOING TO INSULT HER OR ANYTHING BUT I THINK I WAS JUST BEING CONTRARY.
ANYWAY I KNOW YOU STOPPED LISTENING TO ME BUT HEAR ME OUT ON THIS ONE.
I THINK I'VE GOT IT THIS TIME.
WHAT ABOUT DREW BARRYMORE.

Comments

[thneed]

That's probably it.

[ihateyouetc]

THERE'S NO "PROBABLY" ABOUT IT.
HE ISN'T EVEN INTERESTED IN FIGURING OUT HOW.
HE JUST "KNOWS" IT'S A GIRL.

[thneed]

No salamander mind-reading powers or anything up his sleeve?

[ihateyouetc]

PRETTY SURE THE ONLY THING HE DOES OTHER THAN DIE IS MAKE THINGS REALLY, REALLY WINDY.
THAT DOESN'T EXACTLY LEND ITSELF TO DISCERNING THE GENDER OF A SPECIES THAT COMMUNICATES LARGELY BY BLOWING BUBBLES AND STARING AT YOU VACANTLY.
I DON'T THINK ANYTHING DOES. YOU COULD TALK TO THEM BUT THEY PROBABLY WOULDN'T GIVE YOU ANYTHING REMOTELY RESEMBLING A COHERENT ANSWER.
IN RETROSPECT, I DON'T SEE WHY ANYBODY THOUGHT CONSORTS WOULD HELP THEM WITH ANYTHING.
WE PROBABLY COULD HAVE OBTAINED ALL THE INFORMATION WE NEEDED WITHOUT BOTHERING TOO MUCH WITH THEM.
HONESTLY, MOST OF THEM ARE KIND OF STUPID.

[thneed]

What exactly where you doing that you guys needed salamander consorts? Learning to hide under rocks?

EXTREMELY CONFUSING INFODUMP.

[ihateyouetc]

AUGH. I DON'T FEEL LIKE EXPLAINING THIS RIGHT NOW.
I'LL GIVE YOU THE ABRIDGED VERSION. EVERYONE CURRENTLY IN NEW MOORE WHO COMES FROM OUR ITERATION OF THE UNIVERSE
UH
WELL
SEVERAL ITERATIONS OF OUR UNIVERSE.
IMAGINE THE UNIVERSE CAN BE LIKE RESTARTING A GAME OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
IT'S BASICALLY THE SAME THING EXCEPT THERE ARE REMNANTS OF THE PREVIOUS VERSION OF THE UNIVERSE HANGING AROUND
OR IN THIS EXAMPLE "THE GAME"
IN YOUR CURRENT PLAYTHROUGH.
I'M NOT GOING TO EXPLAIN HOW BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE THE PATIENCE FOR IT, BUT EVERYONE CURRENTLY IN NEW MOORE ASIDE FROM THE GUY WITH THE WHITE TEXT WHO COMES FROM THAT UNIVERSE/THOSE UNIVERSES HAVE DIFFERENT CONSORTS.
JOHN'S CONSORTS WERE SALAMANDERS. MOSTLY, EVERYONE ELSE HAD DIFFERENT ONES.
NO, I'M NOT GOING TO TELL YOU WHAT THE OTHER CONSORTS ARE.
NO, FROGS AREN'T CONSORTS. THEY'RE FROGS.
NO, I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THE FROGS. DEALING WITH THE FROGS INVOLVED A TANGLE OF BULLSHIT SO CONVOLUTED IF YOU MESSED IT UP YOU BASICALLY FUCKED OVER AN ENTIRE UNIVERSE AND DOOMED IT FROM THE START AND DROPPED WHAT WAS ESSENTIALLY A DEATH SENTENCE ON SOME INNOCENT IDIOTS WHO WOULD LATER BE FORCED TO GO THROUGH A NULL SESSION
OR, IN THIS EXAMPLE, A NULL PLAYTHROUGH OF THE GAME I JUST USED AS AN EXAMPLE
WHERE THEY JUST HAD TO RESTART ANYWAY BECAUSE EVERYTHING WAS INCOMPLETE AND THEN WHEN THE UNIVERSE RESET APPARENTLY IT WAS WAY MORE FUCKED UP THAN IT WAS BEFORE?
I CAN SEE IT GIVEN THE HUMAN STANDARDS OF EARTH PRE-SCRATCH AND POST-SCRATCH.
ANYWAY, I'M NOT NAMING NAMES OR TALKING ANY MORE ABOUT THIS SO DON'T ASK ABOUT IT.

[thneed]

[ not a clue what any of that meant. not a clue. ]

I won't ask.

[ihateyouetc]

OK, THANKS.
IF YOU TAKE ANYTHING FROM THIS, WHICH I SINCERELY FUCKING DOUBT YOU WILL, IT SHOULD BE "SERIOUSLY, FUCK FROGS."

[thneed]

What's wrong with frogs? Did they do something to upset you?

1/??

[ihateyouetc]

THEY DID SOMETHING ALRIGHT.
NOT ONLY ARE THEY FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE WHEN THEY HOP EVERYWHERE AND MAKE IT DIFFICULT FOR YOU TO CATCH THEM, THEY AJLSKF:ALKEGN :WROFLKAJSFALKSDJFALKDJFALKSJFALSKJF

[ihateyouetc]

NO

[ihateyouetc]

GOD DAMMIT
NO
NO
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NONONONONO

[ihateyouetc]

NO
FUCK
NOIIFK
FUJCKAJKSLFK{ASKF:L:<ASKF

[ihateyouetc]

ARGH

[ihateyouetc]

FUCK
YOU
FUCK
FUCK
DON'T START WRITING ABOUT FROGS.
YOU STRAIGHT UP STUPID ASS MOTHERFUCKER YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT FROGS AGAIN.

[ihateyouetc]

JUST STOP.

[ihateyouetc]

YOU KEEP SAYING YOU DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THE FROGS AND THEN YOU JUST KEEP TYPING ABOUT THE FROGS.
WHAT IS YOUR FUCKING HANG UP.
OF COURSE YOU FUCKED IT UP.
THAT'S PRETTY MUCH A THING YOU'RE CONSTANTLY DOING.
I MEAN YOU FUCKED UP THE THING WITH THE FROGS AND NOW YOU'RE FUCKING UP THE CONVERSATION ABOUT NOT TALKING ABOUT THE FROGS. PRETTY FITTING, ACTUALLY!

[maiditoutalive]

i am sorry
karkat is not very good at explaining these things
if you really want to know you should ask me about it

[thneed]

I think between everyone I got the gist of part of it. Everyone has a planet and John runs a salamander planet. It was on fire but they're okay and then Roxy stole Rose's cat and she took the viceroy of the salamanders and made it her golf-caddy and it was a huge honor for him.

Something like that...

[maiditoutalive]

that is
a terrible explanation and horrible grasp of the events
doesnt anyone pay any attention to things like overarching quests and plots and themes?

[thneed]

I'm sure there's continuity in there somewhere?

[callbacks]

nope

[maiditoutalive]

wow i really should have spent more time trying to explain the game to you if thats what you think

[ihateyouetc]

CAN WE JUST FORGET ABOUT IT.
MOST OF THAT MYSTICAL QUEST BULLSHIT WAS ALL FOR NAUGHT ANYWAY.

[maiditoutalive]

no it wasnt!
it was really important in some way or another whether we did it or not
you should definitely know that you were a huge part of it