As tempting as it might be to sit around in my underwear and screw around on the network all day, I have obtained gainful employment at the book store. So now I have an excuse to get dressed in the morning, you know.

I do wonder, though- would I be able to publish my own books here? I am, after all, a writer first and foremost, and one cannot simply abandon one's craft. Anybody have any ideas? Or happen to know any agents or publishers?

[The post opens with an insistent, repetitive beeping sound, emanating from every island-issued computer or smartphone. A moment later, there's a grumbling, incoherent streak of swearing in the background, and then Shepard's voice, sounding bleary, tired, but still sarcastic as always. It seems to be one side of a conversation, the other half is not audible.]

What the Hell do you mean 'emergency announcement?' If you have an emergency dispatch, can't you just broadcast it yourselves rather than making me read it from a -- no?

Isn't this more the Chief's job than mine?

He doesn't wake up to rhythmic alert noises?

Fine, whatever.

[The last bit is nearly a snarl. immediately following, his voice takes on a bored sing-song quality, reciting from a script -- only gradually changing to anger and alarm as he realizes what he is reading.]


Deep-space radar has detected a cometary fragment moving towards Earth with improbably high speed. Calculations show that it will strike within fifteen miles of New Moore at 1:07 AM on January 17th. Its mass and velocity are sufficient... to cause an extinction-level event?

Upon impact, it will... release six teratons or four zettajoules of explosive force, cause worldwide seismic and volcanic events, including megatsunamis, atmospheric combustion, and a burst of infrared radiation, together exterminating eighty percent of all biological life on the planet. Perhaps needless to say, the forcefield protecting the island will be insufficient defense.

The administration of New Moore... encourages you all to make peace with your place in the universe... and enjoy the remainder of your existence on the planet.

[There is a long pause.]

What do you mean, 'no further communication will be forthcoming?'

[The beeping sound resumes. After thirty seconds of it, the transmission ends.]

For all of you who are unfamiliar with a comet collision, I will make this brief.

The comet with hit earth. Fragments may break off into the atmosphere, possibly causing multiple collisions. Six teratons, was it? Twenty-five megatons would flatten reinforced concrete buildings in a radius of five miles around ground zero. This would be four-hundred thousand times the force. And the worst they're worried about is a few tsunamis? It's enough to knock the earth from its axis. This tiny island, if not already obliterated by the impact, will be at the bottom of the ocean before it hits.

If we somehow do manage to survive the impact and its immediate after-effects, we can look forward to a post-impact winter. The comet should have enough force to knock enough dust into the atmosphere to make it bone-chillingly cold until the turn of the next century.

Classes will continue as scheduled.