Does anyone else notice people acting really weird?

All right! Who's next?

[A close-up of an eye appears onscreen, then Aradia presses something on the phone and it zooms out to show her whole face. She's looking down at the phone, with a fond, but slightly irritated expression, like one you might wear when talking to a fussy parent.]

Yes, I stopped to have tea with the raptors. I'm not rude. [The very idea!, Aradia's frown seems to say.]

It's not a fieldtrip. I'm doing very important work! [Hissed, with a furtive look around her. Aradia is very clearly hiding behind a couch, but from her levels of concentration, you would think she was somewhere deadly instead, maybe somewhere like—]

The jungle is a very dangerous place, and you can't just call me out of nowhere just because—

[A sigh, and her face seems to soften. She reaches up to right a hat that doesn't sit on her head, and checks her hips for her nonexistent weapons.]

I'm sure it will be delicious! [A pause as she listen for a reply.] And that it won't taste as good reheated. But I can't just drop everything because you've decided to make grub pie!

[Aradia drops to the floor suddenly, and nothing shows up onscreen as she crawls to the dining room table and takes refuge under it. Her face appears again.]

Two more weeks. Then maybe we can make one together? Yes, I promise.

[Her eyebrows draw down.]

I'm not a wriggler anymore, and I'm a professional, I don't really want—[Aradia doesn't do pouting that often but it's happening now. She ducks to check if anyone's around, and then she deliberately bumps her forehead against the camera.]

It's fine, I'm in a cave! Okay. Yes. Bye.

[The video feed shuts off.]

This is a message to those who may be concerned on the Outside.... I do not know how long I have been TRAPPED in here with these unholy monsters, but my sanity wears thin and my endurance is running low. It must have been days since I'd last seen anyone not squealing and retching up their GUTS.

Despair is sinking in slowly, but I shall not give up my fight. My mission... yes.. my mission. I must prove myself worthy of carrying out my mission to the Almighty Tallest. They will see how worthy I am when I DECIMATE ALL OF THE DEMONS WITH MY BARE HANDS.

HEAR ME NOW, MONSTERS! I will destroy all of you until you are rendered nothing more than a vaguely pink-colored mist!

Pheasants in the refrigerator. If anyone wants them.

Doctor? Doctor where have you gone? I lost the TARDIS. You told me to look after Amy but I can't find her either. Just these balls of fuzz that keep multiplying. They taste like purple and I can't feel my legs?

No. I'm not moving. Not until the walls set themselves right again.

That wolf won't get in. I've got a knife.

Damn it.......

It's a complete invasion!! They've taken the kitchen and Doc's room - my bad, they got in while I was busy trying to hold them off in the living room - at this rate they'll have control of the apartment within the hour.

I've been hiding out in the bathroom, but it's only a matter of time before they manage to find a way in here, too. Damn....


.... I didn't want to have to use that but... looks like I'm gonna have no choice...

Is that really the best you can do?? A cheap lock and a few puny guards? And that flesh copy.... like that's fooling anybody!

Kovarian, I know you're watching. This is your only warning: give my baby and my husband back, or I'm coming for them. And you.

[there's a slight, fluid ch-chack! sound like something large, metal, and super-destructive being primed. so... not an empty threat, then.]