[Arthur's looking like he's not slept for a while, hair in slight disarray]

School is over for the summer, but I'll be offering language and literature classes for anyone who wants them, or needs the grades. Times will be on a first-come, first-served basis.

Probably should have thought about it before I went in for this teaching lark. Ah, well. A job's a job.

I thought graduating high school would feel like a bigger deal, but I guess not.

I hope when we get released, they send academic records too. 'd really rather not have to go through high school a second time.

Since it's summer break soon.. Anybody here play tabletop games?

I can't believe I have to do this.

ATTENTION
LADIES OF NEW MOORE

You may have heard of my good friend Victor. Wellllllll he's got a bit of a problem. Y'see I really hate to be the one to break the bad news, and please don't shoot the messenger here — no really, don't shoot the messenger, I haven't died in a few weeks and I'm feeling pretty great about it — but he's come down with this horrible incurable disease. I know! Depressing, right? But dry your tears and listen up. It's called terminal virginity. I believe its original name in Latin was Incurablii Lamenessus but it's been a while since I cracked open the books on that one.

Anyway it's really very tragic and if one of you fine women doesn't step up, take one for the team and GET HIM LAID soon, he's going to die alone surrounded by... what the fuck is that. A paper mache griffin?

Oh god, it's already spread to his brain. Soon enough he'll be an unshaggable vegetable!

Look, I can't stand idly by and watch this kill the poor sap. So who's going to take a gander at the Robocock and see if they like the goods?