Something is wrong.

[Carol is all suited up, flying somewhere around the center of town. It's been a long morning of stopping non-fictionals from blowing everything up. She was woken at 4 am to the screaming and energy blasts. It's one in the afternoon and she's been going non-stop all day.She retracts her mask and rubs her eyes.]


Okay, so apparently some of you guy woke up with powers. I know it's kinda weird at first, if any of you want help getting use to things I'm here.

Also, if someone brings me coffee I will forever be in your debt.

I probably should have noticed something was off before I tried flying. I feel kinda warm. Is that normal?

[He curls his toes around his staff, which appears to be a normal shepherd's crook, pulling it back into his arms and hugging it.]

If this is temporary, we might as well have some fun with it.

Holy shit.

Yo, everyone stop thinking so much right now. You wanna give a dude a migraine? Jesus.

Would anyone not poison to the touch and animal safe like to babysit a very adorable tiny bunny for the weekend? You can't turn down watching something so cute, right?

Also might I once again suggest the purchase of a thneed! Great for your weekend needs! Some of its many uses include: a magnificent cape, a daring mask, a pair of gloves, a utility belt, a water filtration system, and a gas mask.

rose, this is a dress!


[ see also: this ]

Who: Rose Lalonde and Kate Bishop
What: What do Rose and Kate really do when the disappear to the freezer at work?
When: Day of February 23rd
Where: Robbin' Baskins


[ This particular recording starts with both the blur of someone moving a camera around way too fast as they try to position it and the unmistakable laughter of teenage girls. If this sound annoys you, your life is probably sad and you should turn off the post and go back to kicking puppies, but if you're still with us and can handle some momentary vertigo, you'll be rewarded with with a steadier hand at the camera and the faces of Kate Bishop and Rose Lalonde. They're in ice cream uniforms and surrounded by boxes - obviously filming from the back freezer at Robbin' Baskins. Kate clears her throat and begins. ]

Okay, okay. This was your idea, you start.

I was only pointing out that there has been an upswing lately on inquires about our freezer activities when business is slow.

John thinks we're making out, doesn't he.

Yep.

[ Kate moves closer to the camera, makes a face, and rolls her eyes. It seems to imply a bit of "boys" in the expression. ]

As you can see, John, we are clearly not making out back here. What we are doing is - [ she pulls an iPod into view and pops one earbud into place. Rose takes the other. They give the camera a "seriously?" look as a tinny orchestra starts up from the ear pieces. Rose pulls hers out again after a moment. ]

That isn't entirely true though. There's also...

Oh god, yeah. There's that. We do spend a lot of time on that. [ Suddenly, Kate yanks out her earbud and reaches out to grab at Rose's apron, her voice pitching up a few octaves. ] Which, speaking of, you are so holding out on me. He had to have told you SOMETHING of his love life during your date. I mean, I know you're not dating him, right?! So who is it? A girl? A dude? An incredibly lifelike doll? Spill!! I'll turn off the camera. He spent like 20k on you, you have to know something.

I don't actually think this going to do much to dispel any of John's fantasies. [ Rose glances down at Kate's hand, and then at the camera, laughing. ] I told you before, I'm claiming doctor-patient privilege.

Ugh! That's not even a little f--

[ As Kate began to express her disgust in full, Rose's hand had slowly moved to push the "stop recording" button. Damnit, Rose. Right when they were getting to the juicy part. ]

 So, uh.

I can fly.

Role call.  What's everyone else got at the moment?

With the crime rate up six hundred percent in twelve hours and property damage estimated at two-point-nine million dollars and rising, as Chief of Police I am officially declaring a state of emergency and placing this island under martial law.

As of 2000 hours island time on February Twenty-Third, the island is under curfew between dawn and dusk. Anyone whose work schedule requires violation of curfew can come in to the police department and fill out a waiver form. Everyone else, park your asses inside.

All police personnel are immediately on call twenty-four hours a day. If you are called in off shift immediate hazard pay grades apply. Any vigilantes volunteering for deputization will be paid the same. Any vigilantes not volunteering are subject to the same curfew limitations. I don't need to see under the mask. I do need a clear chain of command.

Normal civil and criminal penalties, habeas corpus proceedings, and limitations on incarceration without charges are suspended for the duration of the crisis.

Violators are warned that under a state of martial law police officers are authorized to use all necessary force without prior warning, search and seizure is not subject to a warrant, and you do not have a right to see a lawyer.

This is your one warning. Calm the Hell down. Stay off the streets. Watch your asses.

 Well.  Firepower.
[click].

One day, one day I will get through one of these ridiculous scenarios without being stabbed, shot at, or otherwise assaulted.

With that in mind, if anyone has any idea of how I might get rid of this bloody idiot who just discovered he can shoot fire from his fingertips and seems to have developed a megalomaniac personality complete with stereotypical laugh and monologuing, please advise.

PUDDING

IM NEVER GONNA GET TIRED OF IT