OK so I've heard of the pearly gates, forty virgins, and I'm pretty sure one of the ones out there involves attaining enlightenment or inner peace or something - but I don't think I've ever heard of an afterlife that looks like a swanky hotel room and comes with a fully-stocked minibar. Scientology, maybe?

Oh and I was TOTALLY NOT OKAY for a second there, by the way, if anyone cared.

[ There's one Yuri Nakamura on the screen, looking quite serious, almost as if she were going to give an announcement. And in fact, she is. Even though the announcement itself it directed at a certain specific person, there's no way that she's going to filter it to that person, and it's not because she's lazy. ]

Attention, everyone! For anyone who knows the person who goes by the name of 'Suzumiya Haruhi' or is Suzumiya Haruhi herself, I have an important announcement.

I plan on challenging you, Suzumiya, to a battle! If you accept my challenge, I'll give you the complete details about the battle.

As for everyone else who's listening in, if you want to be a referee, be my guest. Any questions, comments, and concerns from anyone else would be also appreciated.

Barring any MORE unforeseen disasters, I'm aiming to open Frye Mechanics the end of this month or thereabouts. If anyone's got any inclination toward fixing machines of all sorts, you're more'n welcome to come on down and show me your stuff! I might well have a job for you.

Otherwise, til I get more staff, I might make myself available by appointment only.

♥ Kaylee ♥

[ the video opens with lydia's arm being the main focus, before she finishes adjusting the camera and brings it to her side. she is sitting on a couch, with victor mancha beside her. ]

Okay, roboboy, let's DO THIS. [ she's got some determined crazy eyes going on right now. she reaches below the camera's field of vision, and pulls out what appears to be... a mardi gras mask? there are a lot of feathers. and it's very glittery. ]

Ay dios mío, what is this supposed to be? [ victor is subconsciously backing away from the feathers.

TOO BAD.

lydia shoves the mask over his head. ]

It's your Victorious mask, silly! Now shut up while I set the scene.

[ lydia stares intently into the camera. ]

As you all know, recently little Vicks has had some... issues he has been working through. And like, this always works out for my sister, so I thought WHY NOT let's give this a good ol costume theatre hoorah.

[ she turns to victor. he's looking pretty put out. ]

You ready?

[ no response. ]

Ugh whatevs. SO VICKS WHAT'S UP TODAY. How are you feeling?

Um. Very sorry?

[ lydia makes a loud, very exaggerated BZZZZT noise. ]

WRONG ANSWER. You're supposed to be Victorious right now!! You have the mask on!!! GOD, I thought you were supposed to be SMART. AGAIN!

Hey Vicks, what's up? I got these totes coolio powers that let me turn into a giant dragon, wanna see?

[ victor stares at lydia, until she turns and pointedly whispers, "THE SCRIPT DUMBO" ]

uh. “You pick the weirdest things to be proud of.”

Ummm I'm a totes awesome giant dragon! What's so weird about that!

“I'm glad this is over the network, I can just remember how grating your voi--” I didn't really say this, did I?

[ lydia heaves a giant sigh. ] Yeah asshole, you DID, it's all on the network as PROOF okay, like, I totes paraphrased the real dealio. [ she turns back to face the camera ] Wowww Vicks, when did you get so meeean?

”C'mon, everyone can tell I'm crazy about you. Where are you now?”

Whoa I am NOT the type of girl who tells a loco crazy person where she is. Also you need to stop being so weird about PDA.

[ victor looks really confused as he stares at the script, then looks even more nonplussed as lydia rips off his "victorious mask". lydia turns back to the camera. ]

So like, you're a totes weirdo you know that. Like what kind of robohero goes all MURDEROUS CRAZY and insults a girl he OBVS has a crush on??

[ quietly ] Are we really doing this on camera?

You SAID you wanted to apologize. I'm helping.

[ victor puts the script down, scrubbing at his face with his hands. long, frustrated sigh. ] I don’t know what-- I don’t know what kind of anyone does that, okay? And I don’t get how rehashing this is supposed to help, but yeah, I’m sorry. I’m really sorry I treated you like crap, that I said any of this stuff, that I did any of this. You don’t deserve that because I do like-- because yeah. And I said we don’t have to hang out, I won’t talk to you ever again, but you invited me over for costume something and I’m sorry.

Was that so hard?

What?

You're like totes forgiven, okay. Stop being so full of the melodrama, like, I’m not gonna stop talking to you just cuz you like, blew up the school. That’s why we’re rehashing this. [ lydia has been looking at victor this entire time, but takes a moment to turn to the camera ] If I can get over it, so can everyone else. [ she turns back to victor, a sly grin on her face. ] So like. Robohottie. Where's our first date happening? That Valentine's auction one doesn't count, you were weirder than normal. And does your robojunk even work like normal? A girl needs to know befor--

Yeah it was weird, how often are people supposed to buy dates with-- can we turn off the camera already?? [ victor reaches forward and the feed cuts out ]