Does that mean Senpai's not real, either?

Contrary to what you may have heard or assumed, my collaboration with the New Moore Police Department does not make me your enemy. I certainly didn't ask to be brought here nor would I prefer any outcome less than everyone's safe return home. However having the skill-set I do and the obligation to uncover the truth, this was my best course of action in our current situation.

Furthermore, just because I'm the only active officer who alerts the network of unpopular island policies- this also does not make me the enemy. It makes me the only person doing their job.

I suppose I assumed in a new place I wouldn't continue to be be misrepresented, but clearly I was mistaken.

Something strange is going on.

( Private, Investigation Team )

( Private. )



why is it this place is way weirder when it is just being normal than it is when it is freaking out

I guess since we didnt all die in a firey volcano explosion i should start doin the homework for the past week huh

Someone want to tell me what the deal is with this island? I kind of lost interest in the debriefing after the whole "not real" thing; figured a guy that out of touch with reality himself couldn't have that much information I'd wanna hear.

So? Who do I need to talk to to get off this ride? Who're the big guilds here? No offense but I'm not liking this whole "early retirement" package; it's not really my style to just sit around sipping tea and staring out at the big, empty harbour...

...



But man! Is it always this ripe here, or is the bad egg smell somebody's idea of a welcome gift? Repede, I don't envy you one bit.

ATTENTION STUDENTS!!!

I am extremely disappointed with the path your development has taken! Most of you can't run more than ten laps - how do you expect to impress our great leaders like that? Even Jackie would be disappointed!!

That's why I have organized a field trip- no, A JOURNEY to awake your inner samurai!! We are all meeting tomorrow at 6 to climb up the volcano. If you're late, your soul will never forgive you - and neither will I!!

Hi everybody!  Merry Christmas!  Um, if you didn't have anything else going on this evening, you should all get your butts over to my apartment, so we can celebrate!  I had to punch out a blonde kid for the last christmas cake in the bakery, too, so you'd better appreciate it!  Um, and I have presents for everyone.  Sort of.  And it's really boring being alone in my dorm room for Christmas, so, ooh, just get over here, okay?  THIS MEANS YOU TOO HANAMURA.

I was taken! TAKEN! Though I don't suppose any of YOU noticed, too busy with your holiday cheer and your woodland creature ho ho hodowns and your mistletoe gangbangs! Too busy with your BLATANT CONSUMERISM! Too busy to notice poor Joshua being snatched while filming his night vision scene. New Moorians, you're all no better than MY PARENTS.




I asked for Michael and a panflute from Santa. I received a kidnapping.

I loathe you, New Moore. I really do.

( Private to Naoto )


yo sempais, you guys doin anything tonight??

LOOK PUNK I KNOW YOU ARE UPSET BUT I AM NOT PAYIN THE SECUIRYT DEPOSIT ON THIS ROOM SO YOU NEED TO THINK OF A WAY TO CLEAN THIS UP PRONTO

So, this is all some crazy world on the other side of the TV or something, right?  I mean, they're the fake ones, not, um, what they said?  I just want to know, if I shout 'You're Not Real!', I'm not going to wind up fighting some kind of giant fire-breathing yellow-eyed monster, am I?

New Moore, why is it that when I'm finally in an environment positively rife with material for a film, the camera crew decides to abandon me?

I can't say I'm surprised. What does Josh do that's so interesting? Oh, I'm sorry, did I say interesting? I meant GOOD FOR GENERATING FISCAL REVENUE FOR CAPITALIST PIGS WITH LAVISH LIFESTYLES. Yes, camera crew, I'm onto you! Josh isn't going around creating sexual attention. You're sent directly from the UNIVERSITY OF ART AS BUREAUCRACY. You're only interested in one thing: CASH. And what brings cash? SMASH. And what makes a smashing sound? NUBILE ADOLESCENT BODIES ORBITING EACH OTHER IN THE SPACE OF RELATIONSHIPS UNTIL THEY FINALLY SMASH. Fine! Go! Leave me! Go follow my friends on their adventures with hormones and beer bongs and pregnancy scares! I will be here making my ART.

That's right, New Moore. You are in the presence of a true artist. I still have my camera, and now I'm turning it on you. You were fictional your whole life? Then you should be used to this. Stop wincing. Stand up straight. Shoulders back, head up, truth on your face. Are you ready for your close up?

Do I care?

Do you care?

Does anyone care?

Does anyone care about art?

WHAT IS ART?

WHAT IS(LAND) ART?

I believe we've stumbled onto a new project, New Moore.




P.S. Michael, if you are hiding somewhere, do come out already. My new roommate is inferior.

It seems there's been a mass immigration to the island earlier this week. As many of you are still settling in your new environment, I'm sure you have many questions about this place. While I can't assure you I have all the answers, as a contract representative of the New Moore Police Force, please utilize me as a resource.

Kanji, did you get a roommate as well? They've assigned me with someone.