[ She could give two shits about whether or not she's real -- she's had it lobbed at her enough times back home.

No, this girl is standing in the middle of the Juanes department store, phone in one hand, Dulce and Garbanna bag held at arms length in the other, and she's fixing you with the glare of death, New Moore. ] What the hell is this crap?!

( Private. Moderate Security. )

Sorry I've been quiet. I've been a little... preoccupied lately. I've been showing my lovely colleague Ianto Jones from back home around and making sure that he's had a thorough welcome to New Moore. Isn't he adorable? I've always wanted my own Welshman.

So because I didn't say it before, Happy New Year, everyone!

( Private to Ryoji. HIGH Security. )

Did you know that there are microwave radioactivity emitters in nearly every home on this disgusting pile of filth and mud? It's true! And that these emitters are available for purchase by anyone? This is also true! I could hardly believe it myself, even WITH my amazing brain, how available these things are and what horrible dangers they pose to every man, woman, and child! What's more is that these things are being used to heat food of all things! Food that they eat with their mouths!

IGNORANT FOOLS! do you not KNOW the power which you all keep so safely in your homes?! The DANGERS?! It is true that while able to make tasty snacks, that microwaves are extremely dangerous and can cause... cause... eh... STOMACH PAINS! And Cancers! You don't want to be the only one of your friends with a massive tumor growing in your disgusting belly, do you?

As a concerned citizen, I will be performing a civil service by coming into your homes and removing these dangerous radioactive food-ovens free of charge! No need to thank me. My only concern is for the health and well-being of you, the people of New Moore.

I went over to get some more salve for my lip, but Anders-san was gone.

It's that time again, isn't it?

TO: Yosuke
FROM: Souji
SUBJ: No more salve

It looks like we're out of luck.

I'm tired of spending my weekends sitting on my ass and drinking, so I'm going to use my downtime to be a productive citizen.

I'm looking to take a small group of volunteers on a wilderness survival exercise.  Given the insane things that happen on this island, being prepared to ditch the city and live off the land could be a matter of life or death at some point.  Everyone who can learn to rough it, should. 

I'll be shouldering the expenses and the prep, so all you need to do is show up at my place, put on the backpack I hand you, and follow me.  We'll be cutting through the forest, past some of the better-mapped ruins, and up around the caldera.  Hiking, hunting, camping out -- just keep in mind that I'll be setting a military pace and keeping to it.  This isn't a vacation.  It's training.

Well, maybe it can be a little of each.

Anybody interested?  First six volunteers get this weekend's spots.