Ought to be impossible, really, but I suppose at this point the list of impossible things is too extensive for even a Time Lord to keep track of.

Still, it's been a quiet month.  Quieter than I generally like, to be quite honest, which might not say entirely flattering things about me, but there it is.  Never been a homebody, really.  Always liked haring around and looking for changes.  Suppose that means it's my turn to see what kind of effect I have from the perspective of people who are stuck in one place and time, going the slow road.

It's not exactly what I expected, I'll give it that.

[Locked to Amy//Time Lordy Security.]

I'm not going to ask if you're all right because that's a rubbish sort of question.  But if you need someone to talk to....

Dorna, Eichiki, Minako, Koko, Dino, um...

ah, ....there are a lot of cats. They keep finding me, and, well ...I don't want to put them out. They're all so cute.

I think they want something from me, because they keep making noise. What do cats want aside from food? Should I get them toys? ...Lots, and lots of toys...?

Lots of cats.

CAT SERVICES AVAILABLE
Feeding, grooming & care

Prices negotiable depending on the cat. Discount for multiples.

Note: I don't have the equipment or experience to handle the larger cats. So, please no larger cats. I don't know how to groom a tiger.


I'm also currently working on an adoption program if I can get a larger space. If anyone would like to help me out with that, I'd appreciate it.

So, whose brilliant, clever idea was it to stick me in a flat with a bloody cop? Whoever thinks he's being hilarious, you're not, just so you know. It's not fucking fair. None of this is. Been here not even a bloody week and I've already moved in with a policeman and woke up to bloody cats hanging all over my face and tearing things apart and shitting and pissing everywhere and bein cats.

I fucking. Hate. Cats. Bloody monsters the lot of them.

EDIT: Also, what the fuck I can't access my twitter? This is some serious unjust bullshit. Not the fake stuff, the uncut Columbian, real good shit.

[Oops, it appears one of the kitties has turned Kaylee's phone on by accident. All that can be heard anyway is a squeal of delight.

Kaylee then picks the phone up and turns it off. Several minutes later, a video of her appears. She has one kitten cradled in her arms and another in her lap.]

This kitty is named Wash, and I named this one Zoe! There was another hangin' around that I named Jayne but I think he's chasin' mice... ain't they just the sweetest things?

'course, they are all gonna need feedin'...

As usual, the government has no explanation for our current feline problems.

I'm as shocked as you are, really.

They also say that in order to collect your next stipend check, they're going to set up a collection center on Monday. In exchange for your check they're going to want two cats. Healthy cats. After the first two, every healthy cat you turn in on Monday will earn you fifty cents a pound.

In the meantime, all trolley service is cancelled, because there are too many cats on the rails.

I've also had a few private requests to remind you all that animal cruelty laws are still in full force. Don't make me toss you in the drunk tank with a cougar.

[ The camera turns on to an extreme, sweaty close-up of ZIM's huge green face. He is in a tight, dark place and looking around frantically. ]

I appear to be trapped in my home. There is a tiny furry creature that is doing nothing but WATCHING me with its large eyes and deadly claws waiting to pounce and tear out my throat.

It is making a curious rumbling sound. I think it means to explode.

I hope the cats never leave.

someone help



this is terrible