Mister Black,

As your new room-mate I'm prepared to adjust my expectations and allow a reasonable amount of leeway for different lifestyles. If I were planning on adopting a motto, I think that "live and let live" has the distinct flavor of Taoist wisdom to it.

However, keeping this many cats in an apartment this size is an offense to Schrodinger, to say nothing of most landlord-tenant agreements. Furthermore, letting them into my room in the middle of the night displays either an overactive sense of juvenile humor or an ignorance about proper housewarming presents that would generally only be expected of Robin Williams in ancient sitcom roles.

This isn't a hallucination.