Hello? Yes. Excuse me, but has anyone seen Sherlock? It's been a few days now, and someone seems to have replaced him with an unshaven costumed man claiming to be Sherlock. Right now he's about as high as a 747 passed out in the other room (still trying to work out how he got hold of those drugs...) so if someone could come round and claim this man? Maybe tell me where you've taken Sherlock?
Well I woke up Thursday morning to the sound of an unfamiliar voice in my flat. I drew my weapon and went to investigate, finding a short, unkempt man rummaging through my things. I asked him who he was and what he wanted, my gun drawn on him. More than anything, the poor bastard just seemed confused and a bit out of his depth as to what he was doing in such a strange place. He insisted that his name was Sherlock Holmes and that he needed to get back to Baker Street.
A fan, I thought? No. Couldn't have been. The man looked like a homeless, but he wanted to know if I'd seen his assistant John Watson, which confused even me. He knew my name, but not my face, which meant either that he had been
driven mad by living on the street, or that something actually very strange was happening. He seems to be obsessed with that Victorian representation of Sherlock, and absolutely for nothing will he break character. It's a bit mad, really.
He seemed harmless enough, and I'm more than capable of defending myself with a firearm, so I've decided to let him stay for the time being until I can find the real Sherlock (which he continues to insist that he is. Mad.) or until I can find him a safe place to go to.
So someone? Please? Claim this homeless. I'm really only good at taking care of patients. He looks like this:

Thank you.