Just got fired by Juanes for refusing to work tomorrow.

Is it wrong that this is only making my holiday better?

You know, I've heard worse... from a cat. When I was 12. So eh. Can I get a rundown of what's going on? What this place is, where it is, if any of my friends are here?



Also, that doctor was totally a pervert.

I am thankful for kill switches ,alcohol, Iron Cat's agility, Barnaby's distractive capabilities, alcohol, beautiful women, an end to Macy's parades, and alcohol. Mostly the alcohol.

[Private Text to Bruce]
Hey, Dale.

We missed you at the party. How can you leave all these prime alcoholic suspects without a sober guardian?

[Private Text post to all Avengers and Co. approximately 25 minutes later.]

Anyone have eyes on Banner? It may be the eggnog hitting me, but he's either slipped deeper or we have a problem. Saddle up, buckos.  We're about to play hide and seek.

JARVIS is not getting a read on his phone.

Cap. Have you-

Has anyone seen him today?