So what kind of story am I from anyway, if I'm fictional? It better be something cool, like something where I'm singing with Elvis and we're killing vampires and befriending puppies or something.

Also, has anyone seen Stitch? He's a blue alien.

Excellent. The perfect time of year to study more about this "Christmas" phenomenon that seems to entrance people around the winter months. It's always so fascinating watching the change in the humans from their normal, selfish and greedy lives. Is there something in the air? The water? Something that causes this shift in behavior? Perhaps over the coming weeks I will resign myself to extensive research. I may require... samples.

OKAY IT'S DECEMBER YOU GUYS!!! you know what that means, right?? it's time to start counting down to Christmas! we need to have a sweet-ass party! I've been throwing awesome parties for decades so I can do that and my roommate is gone so he can't yell at me about making messes any more, we can just have it here!

AND LOOK I already have a tree, even! [don't worry Aisling, it's not real!! it's a gaudy sparkly white thing, ten feet tall and pre-lit with blue twinkle lights. HOW DID HE GET IT INTO HIS APARTMENT??? don't worry about it okay]

This planet seems nice. The woman at the desk in that building gave me some kind of food called gingerbread. It looks a bit odd, but it tastes good.

Right, then. Where am I. Does anyone need rescuing? Where are all the locals? Is this planet always so dark, or just right now?

Has anyone seen Aisling? I haven't heard from her in nearly a week and I'm getting concerned.

[ a text message comes across people’s screens: ]
AiZdd0MY+f6y82dJ/gOR2VGTT/5f3NQH2e15tn84omI=

[ After half a minute, another: ]
Can’t think coffee into hand. COA: bullocks.

[ ooc: fyi, The password is three ]

[ He's in the woods, and from the looks of it, has been for at least a day or two. There's a few wolves milling around him, and a few more farther off in the back, curled up around one another and probably sleeping. Derek himself looks pensive, and maybe a little lost, but he sounds, at least determined. ] Aisling's gone missing, and her pack... doesn't know where. Has anyone seen her?