SOS Brigade Minutes for 8/18/2013 (Summer Edition)

Officers:
Brigade Chief Suzumiya Haruhi
Second-in-Command Koizumi Itsuki
Penalty Secretary Kyon

Old Members:
John Egbert
Kate Bishop
Ikari Shinji
Xion

Dead Members: (in attendance)
Vriska Serket

New Members
Yukari Marii
Peter Parker (megane)
(both members acquired strictly through ethical means of recruitment)
(it is my fondest hope that perhaps one day disclaimers such as this one won’t be necessary)

Released Members:
Junior Assistant Mascot Scott McCall (again)
Nico Minoru (again)

New Business

All attempts to organize these minutes in anything resembling a chronological order of events resisted; dismissed as ‘not artistic enough! A properly constructed nonlinear narrative is way more compelling, where the future is a known quantity but the past is the mystery! You’d better be taking this down word for word, Kyon!’

In keeping with previous instructions, making note of the accompanying glare these words were delivered with.

First discussion topic: Time Travel: what was it like?

Accompanying PowerPoint presentation by Second-in-Command Koizumi unable to be duplicated here.

Second debate topic: what margin did the SOS Brigade win the Summer Camp Color War by? For those members of the Brigade who do not remember participating in the color war as part of a Brigade activity, my sympathies are with you. However, please deduct any points you scored from your original team’s score and add them to the SOS Brigade’s score in order to properly retroactively calculate our victory.

Cats!!! First they went crazy and then people turned into catgirls! Everyone, turn in all your photos of this right away so we can get on production of a commercial album! This is going to make all of us rich! For those of you who didn’t properly catalogue this experience, never mind, that’s what Photoshop is for! Get to work!

(Secretary declined to record ensuing conversation)

(Secretary also declined to record the six-minute rant about the unfairness of disallowing SOS Brigade members access to the faculty lounge at the school. After all, no-one was a faculty member for more than one week, and they were allowed admission during that time. Now that I’m not a cat, I wouldn’t expect to be boarded at a pet hotel, isn’t this the same?)

Tanabata!!!

Nothing remarkable happened on Tanabata, after all.

A moment of silence was recorded in respect for Tanabata.

A general sense of pervasive ennui should also be noted at this point, if only because it was then broken in some of the least sensible ways imaginable.

New members involuntarily and unexpectedly audition for Second Assistant Mascot vacancy (Yukari Marii appointed). The Brigade would like to extend its thanks to Kaworu Nagisa for donating what Ikari-san calls a “plug suit” for today’s iconic cosplay.

Penalty Secretary instructed to stop bringing up nonsense about the sun and moon having a face. This is all just hearsay! Only carefully cross-examined witness testimony would be satisfactory!

Old Business

-What is the Joui?

          -No-one knows.

Scoreboard:

Kyon: -175
Nico: -10
Kate Bishop: 450!
Everyone else: 0.

(It was expressed in no uncertain terms that despite the fact that no points have been awarded or deducted at any time in the last three months, it was absolutely mandatory that I post this anyway)

ADDED: Koizumi: +100 for that PowerPoint! Yes Kyon the exclamation points are part of the score!

Concluding Notes

In summary, it’s impossible to truly capture the essence of three months in the recorded minutes of a single meeting. Brigade members are respectfully requested to submit their own favorite memories of the summer or add discussion to the above points.

WHO: Lin Beifong and Itsuki Koizumi
WHAT: self-recriminations and spurned aid
WHEN: 8/20, evening
WHERE: a particular house where a certain crime took place recently
WARNINGS: mention of violence, torture; psychological damage; anxiety; guilt; verbal abuse; PTSD


( It was perhaps inevitable that she should return to the scene of the crime. After all, she was the criminal. )

To: Zatanna Zatara

Hey, you still here wanna hang out a bit? Beach or something.

- R

I certainly understand having an existential crisis. After that last mix-up, PTSD would be fine as well.

[Archer stood in front of a busted engine, hissing with steam. A number of the parts were fixed with duct-tape and he was going to have to replace them all, hence his irritable tone. One could see it from the corner of Archer's smartphone, which he turned up on its side so he could be seen. He was rubbing his hands down with gritty hand-soap. He wore a pair of glasses, which he had been tipping with his inner wrist so he could inspect the engine block.]

However, boredom should not spring up in my mind as a mental condition worthy of my concern.

At this point, I wonder if it would be a bad thing to return to this supposed fiction.