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What the fuck is going on?!
And if someone doesn't get this bird away from me, I'm going to scream.
And if someone doesn't get this bird away from me, I'm going to scream.
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( thoughtformed ) WELCOME to the New Moore social network - September 22nd, 2013
22 September 2013 @ 11:04 am
you are trespassing the land
but you will be welcomed. both by the people and i.
i am the chief ....executive officer of many types of municipalities.
you may call me mayor.
if in search of things like sextant or treasure, you will need to behave most politely to the citizens, both native and otherwise.
polite behavior is for if you do not wish to be thrown in the volcano as a sacrifice after being covered with newly acquired traded paprika for seasoning.
it is noteworthy that the word "savage" is very rude and if it comes up in a demeaning way directed at my citizens, you will not even get the ceremonial paprika. you will just be chucked in as no sacrifice like that time that king very rudely attempted to claim the island in the name of some religious figure.
tossed in the air above the volcano. so much air you will be thrown in. it's unreal the amount of air you'll get before landing face first in a pit of lava.
the volcano was voted on. it must be so.
feel free to initiate another vote if you feel you would prefer something else.
like being fed to sharks or having your head shrunk.
that will be all unless you wish to relay one of our communication specialists and initiate civil conversation.
those are the parrots. the parrots are citizens that are communication specialists.
they are so good at their job. it is only polite to give them a payment of crackers.
but you will be welcomed. both by the people and i.
i am the chief ....executive officer of many types of municipalities.
you may call me mayor.
if in search of things like sextant or treasure, you will need to behave most politely to the citizens, both native and otherwise.
polite behavior is for if you do not wish to be thrown in the volcano as a sacrifice after being covered with newly acquired traded paprika for seasoning.
it is noteworthy that the word "savage" is very rude and if it comes up in a demeaning way directed at my citizens, you will not even get the ceremonial paprika. you will just be chucked in as no sacrifice like that time that king very rudely attempted to claim the island in the name of some religious figure.
tossed in the air above the volcano. so much air you will be thrown in. it's unreal the amount of air you'll get before landing face first in a pit of lava.
the volcano was voted on. it must be so.
feel free to initiate another vote if you feel you would prefer something else.
like being fed to sharks or having your head shrunk.
that will be all unless you wish to relay one of our communication specialists and initiate civil conversation.
those are the parrots. the parrots are citizens that are communication specialists.
they are so good at their job. it is only polite to give them a payment of crackers.
22 September 2013 @ 01:39 pm
[ Seriously, it's, like, rotting. This is the most disgusting parrot ever, how the fuck is it even flying??? HOW IS IT COMMUNICATING THE 8'S? Stop asking questions. ]
Don't pay any attention to the assholes whining a8out ghosts. They're 8eing 8a8ies and they'll pay for any attempted insu8ordination. :::;)
[ The parrot winked. Probably. I mean, how else would that work, right?? ]
Alright, all you chumps 8etter listen up! I have news. So let me remind you all who I am. I am the Dread Pir8 Vriska Serket! Me and my undead crew have 8een manning Fortune's Scourge since 8efore most of you were even 8orn. While you were crawling around in diapers playing kiddy games I was killing men and stealing plunder. So if I'm deigning to talk to you assholes then you 8etter know it's fucking important!!!!!!!!
Even 8eyond whatever is keeping all of us trapped here.
Something strange has 8een going on at night.
My crew can sense it, and I have 8een feeling it too.
There is some sort of pull. From far out in the water, further than we can reach.
It is coming from a ship!
I do not know what it is, why it's emitting this pull, or what the hell is going on. I do not even know if it is dangerous or not.
8ut if I had to guess, it is 8ecause I am a spooky ghost that I can sense it at all. So may8e it is another ghost ship? If it is, it 8etter fuck right off, 8ecause I've got all our ghostly needs covered!!!!!!!!
Anyway, I just thought I would 8enevolently pass that information along. You're all so fortun8 to have a dread pir8 like me around to help you. L8r, losers!
PS: don't touch the 8ird. If you do........
You might 8ecome a zom8ie too!!!!!!!!
[ She's bluffing. Probably. ]
Don't pay any attention to the assholes whining a8out ghosts. They're 8eing 8a8ies and they'll pay for any attempted insu8ordination. :::;)
[ The parrot winked. Probably. I mean, how else would that work, right?? ]
Alright, all you chumps 8etter listen up! I have news. So let me remind you all who I am. I am the Dread Pir8 Vriska Serket! Me and my undead crew have 8een manning Fortune's Scourge since 8efore most of you were even 8orn. While you were crawling around in diapers playing kiddy games I was killing men and stealing plunder. So if I'm deigning to talk to you assholes then you 8etter know it's fucking important!!!!!!!!
Even 8eyond whatever is keeping all of us trapped here.
Something strange has 8een going on at night.
My crew can sense it, and I have 8een feeling it too.
There is some sort of pull. From far out in the water, further than we can reach.
It is coming from a ship!
I do not know what it is, why it's emitting this pull, or what the hell is going on. I do not even know if it is dangerous or not.
8ut if I had to guess, it is 8ecause I am a spooky ghost that I can sense it at all. So may8e it is another ghost ship? If it is, it 8etter fuck right off, 8ecause I've got all our ghostly needs covered!!!!!!!!
Anyway, I just thought I would 8enevolently pass that information along. You're all so fortun8 to have a dread pir8 like me around to help you. L8r, losers!
PS: don't touch the 8ird. If you do........
You might 8ecome a zom8ie too!!!!!!!!
[ She's bluffing. Probably. ]
22 September 2013 @ 01:40 pm
damn, this place really hasnt changed.
i remember the whores bein much friendlier though, what happened there.
maybe the getup aint doing it for them.
guess i could use a bath or somethin.
lieutenant-commander strider here, reportin in if they didnt already strip my rank and brand me a deserter.
who am i kiddin they probably had that done within a week lets be honest here.
cant get hauled out by filthy fuckin pirates for a decade and come back expecting to be in anyones good graces anymore am i right.
and shit, i almost forgot what land feels like.
i remember the whores bein much friendlier though, what happened there.
maybe the getup aint doing it for them.
guess i could use a bath or somethin.
lieutenant-commander strider here, reportin in if they didnt already strip my rank and brand me a deserter.
who am i kiddin they probably had that done within a week lets be honest here.
cant get hauled out by filthy fuckin pirates for a decade and come back expecting to be in anyones good graces anymore am i right.
and shit, i almost forgot what land feels like.
22 September 2013 @ 03:35 pm
If you found this message, hopefully you saw where the parrot came from. Can you tell us what boat we're on and why (apparently) there are so many ghosts around? Also if anybody has some water to rinse out my mouth or like saltines? Something.
[ Yep, the sea-green banded parrot is back and this asshole sounds even lazier and smugger than he did last year. ]
This is a message from Captain Odair.
The Coup de Chance has returned to Nuevo Paramo to continue our quest. We pay no heed to rumors, fanciful as they may be. The Sextant is as cursed as I am — that is to say, it isn't, aside from being cursed with beauty. Anyone with information regarding its whereabouts may seek refuge on our ship when we make our escape, and share in our inevitable profits. We're more than happy to cooperate.
Of course, if you choose to resist, you'll quickly meet our newest crew member. He's a gunner of good repute, and more importantly, he looks good doing it.
Godspeed, fellow men and women of the sea. We dock at— Alois, if your bird doesn't stop attacking the ship, I'll drown it myself. Get it off. Get it off— [ and that's where that message ends because they're all terrible pirates ]
This is a message from Captain Odair.
The Coup de Chance has returned to Nuevo Paramo to continue our quest. We pay no heed to rumors, fanciful as they may be. The Sextant is as cursed as I am — that is to say, it isn't, aside from being cursed with beauty. Anyone with information regarding its whereabouts may seek refuge on our ship when we make our escape, and share in our inevitable profits. We're more than happy to cooperate.
Of course, if you choose to resist, you'll quickly meet our newest crew member. He's a gunner of good repute, and more importantly, he looks good doing it.
Godspeed, fellow men and women of the sea. We dock at— Alois, if your bird doesn't stop attacking the ship, I'll drown it myself. Get it off. Get it off— [ and that's where that message ends because they're all terrible pirates ]
22 September 2013 @ 09:35 pm
[A rather alarmed green cheeked conure, its feathers fluffed up, keeps fluttering from perch to perch, not wanting to stay still and occasionally blurting out a strange message.]
Captain, I have your--
[The bird emits a startled shriek that is hastily cut off partway through followed by the slamming of a door.]
Ohmygoodness. Oh my- What...? S-sorry, Captain, I-I'll leave you be!
[The voice subsides to a nervous mutter of a woman speaking primarily to herself.]
None of your business, my girl, if the captain wants to... to entertain l-ladies of... of that sort... At least I didn't drop the tea. Oh, Master John! Oh, I wonder... If he doesn't know, and walks in... Oh dear.
[The bird squawks and flaps, flying off to its next perch, crying:]
Master John! Master John!
Captain, I have your--
[The bird emits a startled shriek that is hastily cut off partway through followed by the slamming of a door.]
Ohmygoodness. Oh my- What...? S-sorry, Captain, I-I'll leave you be!
[The voice subsides to a nervous mutter of a woman speaking primarily to herself.]
None of your business, my girl, if the captain wants to... to entertain l-ladies of... of that sort... At least I didn't drop the tea. Oh, Master John! Oh, I wonder... If he doesn't know, and walks in... Oh dear.
[The bird squawks and flaps, flying off to its next perch, crying:]
Master John! Master John!
22 September 2013 @ 09:35 pm
[ the captain's massive hyacinth macaw has a message for the crew! ]
Next week we're trying for l'Île-des-Baskervilles. I'm experimenting with the range of the curse on Nuevo Paramo, trying to see if I can push it for nine weeks instead of eight like last time -- plus, Baskervilles supposedly has luminous rabbits. Can't pass that up. Sheska, talk to Beifong about what off-shore duties of hers you'll have to pick up. Make Shinichi take care of some of yours if you can't handle everything, or Hiccup, I don't care. Do that... sharing thing.
Obviously this experiment in escape will be even more fruitful if that bloody Sextant exists and is in my hands, so that's what J -- Watson and I will be doing. Don't bother us unless it's extremely important, and remember that what you think is important and what I think is important are two vastly different subjects. Plan accordingly.
Ugh. At least none of you lot actually believe the bloody Sextant is cursed -- can't rely on your brains, but at least I can trust you to be practical. I'm -- Oh. What --
[ aaaaaaand that's where the parrot cuts off and flies away, looking deeply unimpressed with the entire situation. ]
Next week we're trying for l'Île-des-Baskervilles. I'm experimenting with the range of the curse on Nuevo Paramo, trying to see if I can push it for nine weeks instead of eight like last time -- plus, Baskervilles supposedly has luminous rabbits. Can't pass that up. Sheska, talk to Beifong about what off-shore duties of hers you'll have to pick up. Make Shinichi take care of some of yours if you can't handle everything, or Hiccup, I don't care. Do that... sharing thing.
Obviously this experiment in escape will be even more fruitful if that bloody Sextant exists and is in my hands, so that's what J -- Watson and I will be doing. Don't bother us unless it's extremely important, and remember that what you think is important and what I think is important are two vastly different subjects. Plan accordingly.
Ugh. At least none of you lot actually believe the bloody Sextant is cursed -- can't rely on your brains, but at least I can trust you to be practical. I'm -- Oh. What --
[ aaaaaaand that's where the parrot cuts off and flies away, looking deeply unimpressed with the entire situation. ]
22 September 2013 @ 10:04 pm
The Truffula has been taken.
But if anyone else wants to try to fuck with the Krystal Ship, please. Be our guest.
But if anyone else wants to try to fuck with the Krystal Ship, please. Be our guest.
22 September 2013 @ 10:59 pm
Ahem.
[A parrot clearing its throat sounds a little weird. But probably not as weird as the carefully pronounced speech which follows, in good English overlaid with a confusion of accents.]
In the same spirit of inquiry that the English have valued since Sir Isaac Newton was placed in charge of the Royal Mint (a move I can only congratulate you and all your countrymen on), I'd like to take a survey of prevailing opinion of all the boats in local waters.
First: How many of you have tried to kill someone on another boat now anchored here, at any point in the past? Please specify which boat. If more than one, name them all.
Second: If your captain and one another captain of your choice were locked in a single Spanish prison cell together, what do you think would happen? How many cellmates would emerge, if any?
Third: Has anyone on this island ever seen the Silver Sextant? Does anyone know the name of the Bishop who allegedly blessed it? When someone says "I give you my word as a Spaniard," is that usually a sign that they're worthy of trust? If not, what cause is there for believing a rumor so distinctly Spanish in flavor that I can practically taste the peppers and fish now?
Fourth: given the above questions, if you had to lay odds on the ability of eight crews to cooperate long enough to find the Sextant and leave these waters without a bloodbath, exactly how many doubloons would you give for our chances?
[A parrot clearing its throat sounds a little weird. But probably not as weird as the carefully pronounced speech which follows, in good English overlaid with a confusion of accents.]
In the same spirit of inquiry that the English have valued since Sir Isaac Newton was placed in charge of the Royal Mint (a move I can only congratulate you and all your countrymen on), I'd like to take a survey of prevailing opinion of all the boats in local waters.
First: How many of you have tried to kill someone on another boat now anchored here, at any point in the past? Please specify which boat. If more than one, name them all.
Second: If your captain and one another captain of your choice were locked in a single Spanish prison cell together, what do you think would happen? How many cellmates would emerge, if any?
Third: Has anyone on this island ever seen the Silver Sextant? Does anyone know the name of the Bishop who allegedly blessed it? When someone says "I give you my word as a Spaniard," is that usually a sign that they're worthy of trust? If not, what cause is there for believing a rumor so distinctly Spanish in flavor that I can practically taste the peppers and fish now?
Fourth: given the above questions, if you had to lay odds on the ability of eight crews to cooperate long enough to find the Sextant and leave these waters without a bloodbath, exactly how many doubloons would you give for our chances?