Okay, I'll be honest, being told I'm not real? Not the weirdest thing I've had to deal with. But it ranks pretty high up there. No one actually believes this, right?

Anyway, I was told that people I know might be here? So, uh, if you can hear me, sound off?

I'm really looking forward to this.  Sometime in the next few days, I'm sure!

Unless we really did land in a different universe.

This is going to be brilliant.

Look, you can tell me all you want about fake people and stories and whatever, but I know the truth.

This is a PLOT BY KANE!! I'm onto you, guy!!!

You guys don't have to worry, though. TEXAS IS HERE TO SAVE ALL OF YOU!!

Save your applauses, I know you're greateful.

Anyway, as soon as I find Dutch I'll get him to add a dragon head to my car, some wicked fire-shooting guns, and WE'LL BE GOOD TO GO!!!!!

WHY ARE THERE BLOODY PARROTS HERE NOW

All right.  We'll try this one last bloody time.  This is Commodore Shepard of the Royal Navy, commanding HMS Norman Conquest.  I mount more guns on my taffrail then any of your little sailboats can fit on a deck.  In light of pirate activity in these waters, I have declared martial law on Nuevo Paramo until I build a new reef out of the wrecks of your ships.  There is no curse.  There is no treasure.  And this port will not only fly the British flag, it will observe British law better than Nassau, better than Port Royal, and better than Liverpool.

Any man known to serve on a ship that flies the Jolly Roger will be hanged if my marines catch him about the town.

This does not exempt the crew of the Manhattan.

Find a new anchorage, or I'll secure one for you at the bottom of the bay.