We seem to have a bit of a problem.

While I am sure this blockade of less than scrupulous ships has a reason for blocking my path, the fact of the matter is that you are still blocking my path.

I am a business man above all else. Perhaps we could set forth a deal to where I will not be forced to fire upon any, and the rest of you will stay alive.

You have one hour to move. Good day.

My beloved and respected crew, certainly by now you have heard the unfriendly, and quite honestly rude message that old foe Commodore Shepard has released. I need not remind you that so long as I live, I shall not see one of you hanged by his hand and would gladly place my own neck upon the line for your sake.

Do not fear his baseless threats, for he is a coward and a pet to his queen. The only queen we shall pay heed to is that fickle and playful lady of the breeze, and none other shall do.

With this said, enjoy yourselves at port, men, and be sure to report in the morning so that I can be certain that you remain as free as your spirits. I do hope to cast off without breaking someone out of prison for once, so don't let me down. I have heard of whispers of a certain silver instrument that hides itself somewhere upon this land. This could be it, men, and I want you at your best.

[There's a quick but heavy sigh before the message, and Thor's mood is obvious enough from the tone of his voice when he finally speaks.]

Being taken from Asgard when I had yet to even truly set foot on the ground is not what I consider a funny jest. [There's a brief pause.] If any have information as to what is truly happening here, I would ask you share it. It is not the first time I have been told I am not real, but this is beyond foolish.

[He has nothing else to say, however, and ends it there.]

This is wrong!  It's all wrong!  No, don't be daft, a Physicker's immune to fevers, but there's a presence on the water.  And something looped, a double half hitch where a noose was before.  And something missing, something off, fifteen-score and eight.

But I know who I am, and where I am, so don't fear, the moon's failed to drive me madder than I ever was.  I tell you, though, the same way I know when a distressed sailor touches the water before the island hears the splash, I tell you.  There's something wrong.

[ or in person. either or ]

Okay. This is the place. [ no. this a not musical number. ...yet. ]

Thanks to our not-at-all-terrible navigation, we're here. I need a volunteer to help with a little reconnaissance mission. Besides Mister Tuna, who I know is going to volunteer on his own just to get off the ship.

Now, I want to play nice with this island because it has what we need on it and last I checked these are ships I should- SHOULD - be on good terms with due to lovely business. So! Don't do anything stupid enough to ruin that or I'll make furniture out of your bones and let people sit on it and have lovely dinners. I don't want to have to repeat that 'poison-the-entire-water-supply' thing.

We can make big on this one.

Right. What thebloody hell is going on. Is the island being invaded?

Oh you have got to be kidding me

[Private: Torchwood New Moore]

Where are you. Jack? Gwen? Tim? Please tell me at least one of you is in their right mind and not celebrating talk-like-a-pirate day.

Well, I'm sure you all heard that less than pleasant announcement from our dear friend the Commodore? Don't worry yourselves too sick over it, he's not taking any of you kids as long as I have anything to say about it.

Not that you're all helpless, I trust that you can hold your own out there if you venture out. That being said, if you want to head onto land check in with The Countess before just to be sure. She'll make sure you're not stickin' out like a sore thumb out there.

And why do all those scruffy navy types have to be such killjoys? I'm not going to believe there's no treasure or curse unless I get solid proof. Right, kids?

All the guns are shipshape and ready for action at a moment's notice. I'll run drills two or three times a day without warning to keep the crew as ready as these bat-fowling dewberries are able. We've enough powder and shot for one decent engagement, but no more. And only two mast-breakers in the lot. If we're do to any real damage, we'll need more equipment - as I've been telling you for the past two weeks.

[ Said parrot's wings are banded with seafoam green, and said message is delivered in the utterly relaxed tone of someone who could do this in his sleep. ]

This is a message from Captain Odair.

There's been a slight change in course. We will be attempting to dock at Nuevo Paramo at the next dawn. As we've all been informed by Commodore Shepard, this will be no easy venture. I want all capable hands on deck tomorrow morning so that we may graciously meet our welcoming committee.

I need not remind you that we are in pursuit of the Silver Sextant and will not rest until we retrieve it. Keep your eyes and ears open for new information; it appears to be everywhere these days. Any new knowledge is to be brought to me post-haste.

Godspeed, men.


Oh, one more item of note — if our navigator is correct, Dante, we'll be needing your services tonight.

Is that... are you a parrot. What is that- oh.

I think there has been some kind of mistake. Did I get on the wrong train?

Excuse me. Ah- Would you happen to know when we will be docking? This is really not where I was supposed to be. If you could just point me in the direction of the nearest...land?

Kate

Kate

Kate
Kate

Kate Kate Kate Kate

Kate

KateKate

KateKateKateKateKateKateKateKateKateKateKateKate

Kate can we stop roleplaying now


Kate

Kate. Kaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate.
Kate?


Kate these chains are starting to chafe Kate





Pssst hey Kate

(whistle!)