Who: The Batfamily
What: Baby brother crashes the party
When: The day of Damian's arrival (we'll call it May 30)

[The arrival of Damian Wayne begins with a bang and not with a whimper.

He doesn't bother to go for subtlety at the hospital, when he smashes a doctor's face into the wall repeatedly, ties up another and leaves him strung up from the ceiling and beat nearly to a pulp. The statements filed with the police attribute it to a dark-haired boy, somewhere around elementary school-aged, but Damian's long gone by the time any of the authorities can get there with all his gear, and he doesn't intend to be caught any time soon.

Somewhere somebody knows something, and the premise is too mad to be real. But maybe somebody believes it, somewhere around here, and somewhere there has to be a clue as to who would go to the lengths of constructing an entirely new city just for the sake of some stupid plot like this. In his mad rush for answers he goes after the likely targets first. Hospital personnel, and whatever files he can find; the city government, and their records, and the elected officials most likely to have any clues on any sort of criminal conspiracy involving the kidnapping and psychological mind screw that is attempting to convince people they're fictional. Worse, they must know he's Robin. Somebody must know, his clothes were there. This can't be a coincidence. There's got to be a reason he's here, a pattern between what's going on and what's been constructed and a plot to string together to make it all make sense and give him a direction that points to the culprit, and from there, back to Gotham. If Richard doesn't find him first.

From there he moves downwards, into the slums and the gutters and the underworld. Something has to be there, somewhere.

For the people who know how to read the signs, all of this- the systematic searching for information, the harsh interrogations conducted swift and brutal- should make it obvious who the culprit is. And when his investigations turn up certain names- Timothy Drake (not Wayne, no matter how much he wants to call himself Wayne, Damian is Batman's true son), Stephanie Brown, Jason Todd- he'll have a new direction entirely. Tracking them down and breaking into their strongholds. Waiting for them to come.

If they don't find him first.]

After spending some time in this place, it's been made clear to me that if I want to advance the cause of the Joui, I must recruit someone who can help me carry on the operations of group. The creature previously occupying the position excelled in every way, and of course replacing them would be impossible, but I promise to be fair and judge you according to your abilities.

YOU:

- Are looking for action, adventures and excitement!
- Have a healthy distrust of authority figures!
- Can easily disguise yourself when the situation arises!
- Can, if the situation arises, easily jump through roofs to escape!
- Are able to fit into a duck costume!*

*Not mandatory, but encouraged.

WE WILL:

- Provide you with all the tools you need to make your own bombs!
- Instantly sign you up to the official Joui Drama Discussion Group!
- Make sure you are rewarded in never-ending excitement!*

*Actual wages TBD.

Does this sound like you? Then apply today!

[TEXT]

Now that things have quieted down we need to talk, meet me at the New Brew coffee shop in 20 minutes.

[ACTION]

[Carol's actually sitting at New Brew when she sends the text out. She'd been having problems concentrating on the kids all day despite the fact that things were getting back to normal after the last incident. As soon as her last class of the day got out she flew over in full uniform, ordered something with entirely too much caffeine and shot Noh the text.

Only thing to do now is sit and wait. And try not to seethe. Hank told him to stay away from Earth, but she knew Noh-Varr didn't have any control over coming here. She knew that but the sting of him betraying them and trying to take the Phoenix still stung.

They trusted him.

Yeah, if there's any way to drink coffee angrily Carol's doing it.]

I've been to every clothing store in this city and not a single one of them had anything I could possibly wear. The only silk shirts I could find had short-sleeves and these horribly garish floral prints on them, which I positively refuse to touch. I took a photograph with the computer phone (Millie, did you know it could do that?):



You see what I mean? Dreadful.

I have always wanted to live on an island paradise, but I assumed that I would be able to dress myself properly while Millie and I were there. And that there would be mermaids. Would that this were Series Five.

SOS Brigade Minutes for 5/13/2013 & 5/31/2013


Officers:
Brigade Chief Suzumiya Haruhi
Second-in-Command Koizumi Itsuki
Penalty Secretary Kyon


Old Members:
John Egbert
Kate Bishop
Still Junior Assistant Mascot Scott McCall (this emphasis is unnecessary)
Ikari Shinji

Updated Category: Dead Members: (see below)
Vriska Serket


New Members
Xion (recruited by Kate, so for once the ethics of the situation are unquestionable) Kyon! What’s taking you so long to write down a name just as short as yours? You’re making sure to get everything word for word, right? What kind of notes are you putting down, anyway?
Nico Minoru (after significant debate as to which list she belonged on. Apologies, Minoru-san.)

Released Members:
Asahina Mikuru


New Business for 5/13:

-Prom decorations. 50 point initiative award to the Penalty Secretary for volunteering us! And 100 point penalty for doing it without consulting the other officers first!

            -Is there any way of even pretending these points have been awarded on a meaningful scale?


-Prom! Someone in the brigade had better wind up winning King or Queen! We have to be well-represented out there! One thousand point reward for success; five hundred point penalty for failure!

            -I didn’t think so.

-Of course, for something like this, attendance is mandatory! Be sure to bring a date, no matter how hopeless a specimen you may otherwise happen to be!

            -There’s no need to be looking directly at me as you say things like that.

-From here on out make certain to record any significant glances! Emphasis and body language are important parts of communication and there’s no excuse for being lazy and leaving them out!

-Anyway! These releases are getting seriously unacceptable! Discuss.

            -Discussion did not yield any positive results, unless seriously depressing the majority of the Brigade counts as a positive result.


Old Business

-Efforts to install a rheostat in the clubroom tabled until next year.

            -Attempt to quietly answer Miss Minoru’s question about a rheostat interrupted by Brigade Chief deducting further points from Penalty Secretary for not getting this done. A rheostat is a device which can be used to adjust the light levels in a room on a sliding scale rather than a binary on/off switch. Also, I didn’t realize that was being left to me.

-No excuses!


New Business for 5/31:

-Kyon! Why don’t you have that last set of minutes up yet? Totally unacceptable! Minus another one hundred points!

-Prom retrospective. Thankfully, no penalty points were handed out, due to an official amnesty granted by Brigade Chief, rendering the aforementioned irregular points system even more arbitrary. Given extensive discussion of prom events, please leave the highlights and memories in the comments yourselves.

-(Miss Minoru) ‘'The SOS Brigade: where everything is made up and the points don't matter'’

-Of course they matter! Minus ten points!

-Finals week is coming! What kind of rewards can we get from the school for having the entire Brigade on the Honor Roll? That had definitely better happen!

-Summer plans! (abridged for length) Meetings and club activities will continue throughout the summer; without schoolwork as an excuse attendance is double mandatory.

-What is the Joui?

            -No-one knows.

-What the heck was up with everyone going blind, anyway?

            -Extensive summaries omitted for health reasons (risk of carpal tunnel). Again, feel free to recap below.

-Roundtable Discussion Topics. Death in New Moore! Did anyone see the skeleton with the scythe? What do you mean, you decided not to talk to him? Anyway, something about death is weird in this place, right? There’s a support group for dead people! Does the skeleton run it? How many dead people are just walking around on the streets, anyway? What’s going on with that?

            -Discussion tabled due to lack of time and excess of volume. Brigade Chief & Ms. Serket (aside: is there a regular polite form of address for trolls?) conducted an impromptu discussion of the subject Official record updated at insistence of Brigade Chief to reflect important distinctions about certain club members.

Points scoreboard:

Kyon: -175
Nico: -10
Kate Bishop: 450! Runner up for Prom Queen is pretty good, and recruiting a new member is even better, but try harder next time!
Everyone else: 0.

There's been some inquiries of late regarding hospitals and the local doctors and such. I understand that not many of you are exactly trusting of the doctors that run the hospital we're all shuffled through upon entry, so I just want to remind everyone that there is an alternative. We at Baker Street Surgery are confidental and discreet. Please be safe with your summer adventures and know that if you do get injured or sick that we can be trusted. Just note that if you require help outside of clinic hours, that there may be an additional fee.

Thank you,

Dr. John Watson, Baker Street Surgery

( text to Lin )

Aaargh, I can't take it anymore!!


HOW MANY ALIENS ARE THERE IN THIS PLACE?!

You don't have to tell me I don't want to know.

Game of Crowns: Noble families fight for power and dominance against a fictional european landscape, weaving magic and warfare with political and sexual intrigue. Based on the series of hit fantasy novels by R. R. R. R. Moran. (WARNING: Graphic nudity and violence.)

CSI: NM: Follows the lives of a team of detectives working the crime scene investigation department of New Moore PD.

DOG COPS: A troubled ex-addict finds a new lease on life when he takes a job rehabilitating a former K-9 dog that's entered retirement, and finds his new companion unwilling to surrender the call of duty without a fight.

Downtown Abbey: Set in the council estates of South London. Superintendent Bob Grantham must find a way to keep the estate running when his nephew dies in a freak boating accident, bringing in his stuffy middle-class cousin to help manage affairs in his stead. Tensions run high in this class-driven british drama!

Cannibal: A professional chef prepares extravagant weekly meals using fresh, local ingredients.

Three days off in a row? I don't know about you guys, but I'm not planning on moving my butt more than fifteen feet from this sofa all weekend.

Anyone else up for some of this, feel free to swing by and let yourself in, because I plan on being up to my eyeballs in swordfights.

My old therapist retired at the end of last year, so I've had a new one for a while.

This one told me I've made a lot of improvements since we met.

Now I wanna prove him wrong. Without Shepard around to not torture us, I don't see what's stopping anything. Unless we really did lose our nerve like that guy said about us.