[The screen flicks on and Darcy is holding he marriage license and summons in one hand.]

Uhm, guys? Did I get really, really drunk last night? Or...I don't even know.

Aradia, f you have this, we are so not married. So, so so not married. The paper is a lie.

So you know what's really good? Like super good and tasty? Cake. Lucky for me, I got some delivered this morning.

Know what's not good? The marriage license that came with it. Excuse me, but what the hell? I can't be married to Vriska. Because that's creepy and wrong and I won't have it. I can forgive some minor clerical errors, but this... this is pretty major. For serious. I'm not messing around here. How do I get this reversed or annulled or whatever it is I need to do to make this go away?

Simca, I know we had some wine last night, but I don't think things got so wild to explain my getting married. It will certainly give us something to talk about with the girls at the salon at least.

Mister Mayor, I hope I didn't scare you. But since we're officially married now, it only seemed appropriate I carry you over the threshold. I'll bring home a nice dessert to celebrate, unless you wanted to try your hand at that cake?

Kazu-kun, is this a prank? It's very funny.

I almost want to ask if this is some weird Asgardian custom, but I really feel it's not.

Uh, do you know anything about this, Sif?

...did anyone else get a court summons?

[Aisling is right-side up, but the landscape behind her appears to be upside-down. Completely unbothered by this, she smiles cheekily into the camera, raising her eyebrows.]

So many marriages and it isn't even a festival! They'll have to make a new one, at this rate. If you need a good trysting place, there are plenty that I can show you in my forest if you ask~

[She laughs merrily, far too amused by all of this, and shuts off the feed.]

[ the deepest of all sighs. gdi new moore. ]

Mazel tov.

Yes, we're working on fixing it. Yes, they are real documents as it stands right now. No, I am not a marriage counselor.

At long last, a dream of mine has come true. A far off dream I'd only imagined would happen after I'd saved the world with my comrades at my side from the Deboss Army. After I'd wooed a girl with dates and flowers and a moonlit dinosaur ride at night-- I mean, girls like that kind of stuff, right? Oh, and chocolate. At least a mountain of it and maybe a free hamster and--

Actually, that doesn't matter now because Kiryuu Daigo is now married!

So's everyone else got one of these or is this somebody's idea of a sick joke? Cuz I gotta say, the only gay wedding I was planning on attending in the near future was my brother's.


On the bright side, hey Kyon, I bet this qualifies us for a family membership at Cost-Lo! Perfect timing as we are so fresh outta coffee.

I'm almost certain I'm not eligible to get married.

Sidewalks are going to be slippery. It's not you I'm after, it's them.

Congrats on the marriages. New Moore thinks I'm dead, which seems like a good of an excuse as any to throw a party tomorrow. Think of it as an End of Summer soiree slash... 'I'm not actually deceased' mixer.

If somebody wants to do security, I'll pay you. I don't live with a cop anymore, so take that however you want it to mean.

Kate, come early because we both know you're gonna need serious help with an outfit. Also I know you're still sulking.

Special invitation to Finnick Odair. You should stop by, but I wouldn't bring a girlfriend.

Guess we're going to be having a lot of divorces going around...

Now, Koizumi, you'r a fantastic cook and a great bloke and I'd just love to make a honourable man out of you, but I'm really not the type for marriage. We can share the cake?

James, Prongs, don't worry, you're still the only man I've ever truly loved.

And Alisha, I really can't explain, but... Do you want to help me cheat on my husband?

Everyone else, I hope you woke up with beautiful wives! Or husbands, as the case might be. If you want to take wedding pictures, my store can offer ones that move.

Do I get a prize if I rack up one more indecent conduct with a minor charge? I hear third time's the charm after all!

[Did you hear that scream? If not, she's not sure how you missed it while her windows and door were wide open.

Frying pan in hand, she scrambles away from her angry adversary, fumbling to get her phone to call out to her fellow technologically-stunted acquaintance.

There's a terrible noise in the background as she puts out a mass call over the network for a single young man.]

Hiccup! Can you hear me? The sink, it... it's roaring at me-- no, growling! There must be a monster or something terrible living in it, and I don't know what to do, and it won't stop!

[That's right folks, Rapunzel has unfortunately discovered the garbage disposal. And who can be bothered to read the unopened mail on the counter when the sink immediately next to it has "come alive" and is on the offense?]