Okay, so, no one told me that getting a flatmate was going to spur some kind of... weird homoerotic marriage situation. Is that sort of thing even legal here? I mean, not that I'm here to judge or anything, but I'm not gay, and it would be really, really nice if the people at the town hall or whatever would believe that. Even if I were, is big ears and big nose really on my tier? Please.

And besides, I'm not really the marriage type, yeah? Better off coasting through from one strange woman's bed to the next.

... what kind of ridiculous joke is this? I haven't agreed on marrying anyone, much less here, or like this. I'm not even old enough for this.

Alright. Okay.

I could accept being shoved into a frightfully small apartment with a total stranger. I did not like it, but I could accept it. I did not wish to raise a fuss.

But not any longer. I am SO raising a fuss right now. You have NO IDEA the fuss I am raising. I am raising such a fuss that the fuss has escaped the planet's gravity and has settled into an elliptical orbit around Mars.

WHO SENDS A COURT SUMMONS TO A VISITING HEAD OF STATE WITHOUT DOUBLE CHECKING ITS VALIDITY FIRST?!

For the love of Glob, I was keeping my mouth shut, but those in charge here make the Ice King look like a competent government official. The bureaucratic nincompoops had better get this straightened out IMMEDIATELY or I am going to be smacking the judge at the hearing upside the noggin with a sign saying 'DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY' until he or she cries. I AM A PRINCESS.

Also, my roommate is fourteen? I'd totally have assumed she was sixteen. Human physical maturity rate must either be all over the map or totes different for girls. Wait does this sound like I am trying to backpedal and justify a lapse in judgment that I never had? Because it is not. Haha!

The stuff on this network had better not be admissible in court.

But based on this track record so far it probably is DUMM BESCHISSENEN IDIOTENsdlkhgfhlkfghfghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[ Someone may have finally passed out for the moment from the stress of the stupidity of the situation. ]

[ it looks like she's almost on the verge of tears ]

Okay. I can deal with monsters and magic and all the other crap that happens in this place because I am a good witch and I handle stuff like that on a regular basis even though I hate it. But you can't -- you can't just annul my marriage like that!

I was married to a great guy, a regular angel, in fact he is one and I fought for him and this stupid place is trying to take that away from me and you can do that! I have rights!

My dowry doesn't at least have a sickly sheep or something. This is kind of really insulting. Not that I should take it seriously but---I mean. It's like "Here's your heir to the tribe, sir! All you had to do was hand over some frilly underpants and a box of cake powder stuff! -What mead? We're not celebrating with mead. You get this bottle of bubble junk."

There aren't even swords in this basket. Worst wedding ever.

I cannot find my husband.

At a time like this, some further reading is required, since this arena of human relationships is not one I had considered extensively. Wollstonecraft, Kierkegaard, Witte, and Dworkin have all produced relevant texts which those concerned with the present state of their relationships might wish to study. Plato addressed the matter more obliquely. If anyone with extensive philosophical interest in contractual, sacramental, or metaphysical unions who wishes to supply their perspective, I would appreciate it.

In the meantime, I will continue my search.

Mister Holmes. Please be gentle with Shinji. He has previously expressed a variety of uncertainties worth considering on the subject of physical consummation.

Marrying people against their will. Really think the Games are that far off?

Katniss, separate from Peeta for half a second. Finnick is volunteering you for a party. We all know how much you love parties.

i'm dead apparently i thought i should let everyone know

it's not that different from being alive so far but my funeral was nice at least. am i supposed to haunt someone? i don't know if i'm actually up to that it sounds really intimidating

anyway goodbye