Uh. So. I'd like to report a kidnapping of myself and some other boy. I don't know where the bloke who kidnapped us had wandered off to, but I would rather not be round about here when he gets back.

Hello?

I tried to dial 999 but no one responded.

[Have a shakycam view of Homura.  It's shaky because she's trembling as she points the camera at herself.  Her face is mobile and expressive, and her voice is nervous and... squeaky.]


Hello?!  Um, this isn't where I'm supposed to be at all!  Madoka-san?  Mami-san?

Um... Kyuubey-san?

Does anyone know where I am? Or what day it is?

Is it just me, or does it seem like there are more unsupervised squirts running around today than there were yesterday?

[Within moments, it's clear that this is an accident. For one thing, the cameraman seems to be banging the camera on the ground outdoors. It then goes flying, giving a blurry view of a fair number of trees, smacks into something and tumbles down, accompanied by a shriek of laughter that sounds like a small child. The poor, abused camera can see a sideways view down a slope, out of the last few trees, the road down to the city. Tiny bare feet toddle into the frame, followed by teeny, pudgy hands. The camera lifts, and there's a white-haired little girl with bright green eyes and the rounded face of a one-year-old child laughing and making faces into it. There are a few sounds in there that might be some disconnected words in Gaelic, possibly. Then she throws it again, and it shuts off.]

[ So the video starts up and is immediately met with a close up a tiny child's face. He looks kind of confused and amazed at the same time. He blows a raspberry into the screen then puts the device upright on a shelf.

He steps back and starts to twirl around in place for a moment. ] Daddy! Mommy! I found a thingie!

[ He then starts to walk about and look under things, apparently trying to find his parents. Also making a bit of a mess. ]

[ The video turns on to an awkward closeup of a young boy's face, who looks panicked and confused. ]

Hullo? Yes...Um.. My name is John Watson. I think I've lost my family somewhere, because I'm not where I went to bed last night, and I really have to get back, cos mum and dad were going out today and I really have to watch my sister Harry, and if I don't get back soon, I'll be in loads of trouble.

Um... I woke up today in a strange place and there's a weird boy here and he doesn't talk a lot, but he's looking at all the weird stuff that's laying around. There's a gun here, and I'm not supposed to touch those. But if we've been taken, can I use it? It's kind of scary.

Come in Dale. Dale, do you read? This is Flash.

Zarkov's agents are on the way.

Is operation Mongo a go?

Well, this isn't good.

My, what an interesting metal this is.

Would anyone care to tell me where I am?

[Oh hey look Kate Beckett is about 16 years old. And she's sipping a chocolate milkshake at Robbin' Baskins.]

Okay, there are way too many kids on this island. Has anyone told the people here that kidnapping kids is really kind of creepy?

I mean, don't get me wrong, it's a really nice island. My roommate is very cool but... Come on, guys. My mom is gonna freak when I don't come home tonight. Plus I have her wedding ring for some really bizarre reason and she is not gonna be happy about that.

But since I am stuck here for now... Is there any decent place to get some Chinese takeout? This milkshake is only gonna last me so long.

The island seems a bit... noisy. With small, sticky fingered individuals.

[Private: Aziraphale]
So. All this noise? Not actually my side. For the record.

What are all these silly buggers at?