I hate- This place- Fuck.

Fine. I'll just get this all out of the way in one go.

This place sucks ass, but it sucks slightly less than the Apocalypse. I really wish I could forget all the shit inside my head and just give in, but I can't and I won't.

The bars here are dull as fuck, sorry Conrad but that place is like a kiddie bar or something. Tony, your taste in music is awesome but your butler freaks me out, please stop having him call me. Loki, you're a good kid. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. But your kitchen ideas are going to kill one or both of us.

Sammy, you should just go get a dog already and not talk to me for the rest of however long this lasts. It wasn't your fault.

This place better give me back my damn car before I shoot somebody. I deserve that much for putting up with this shit.

[Of course Kenzi sees the latest shenanigans as a way to profit. That's why she's sitting with a notebook and pen at the ready with an excited look on her face.]

If you're a Werewolf and you know it, clap your hands! [Waits for clap.]
If you've got superpowers and you know it clap your hands! [Waits for clap.]
If you have alcohol and you know it and you really want to share it,
with a human, namely Kenzi, clap your hands! [Waits for clap.]

F-Y-I. I love this place!

Hey, Erik? I know this is really late, and I'm not sure if you forgot, but I still have your menorah from when I borrowed it last month. Sorry about that.

Anyway, I was wondering if I could return it sometime. Better late than never, right?

Oi, New Moore.

Let's play a game!

SHAG/MARRY/CLIFF
or
FUCK/MARRY/KILL
whichever you prefer, really.

You answer completely honestly and then leave your own triad and everyone else answers you and we fuck ourselves over for the conceivable rest of eternity.

Look, I'll even make the first one easy: Ramona, Shepard and that shifty forest bint, Aisling.

[ the camera feed shows the corner of a face, some long black hair flowing as the face moves off the screen. it's pointed at the ceiling - she's accidentally sending video from her iPhone. her words might be a little slurred. ooc note: kate found out tim is spying on the island! loki surprised her with it at the meeting! she goes and gets drunk with tommy! ]

y'know Tommy, boys are stupid! They're stupid no matter what the age. Dumb. Dumb dumb dumb.

[ you hear the sound of something crashing to the floor, possibly breaking. ]

oops, clumsy.

[ a giggle ]

Except you Tommy. You're nice. You're really nice you know? You don't take advantage of me, even if you're related to stupid people. And even if you're stupid and you should have fucking told me you were going off with Loki to spy on my boyf--my ex-boyfriend, you should tell me, you know! But you're still nice. Because you're letting me stay here.

[ there's the sound of a voice, softly speaking. male. did he just tell her to lay down? ]

No, I feel fine. I'm fine! Even if I'm staying with you in your stupid Magneto lair with your stupid supervillain-in-training roommates! It's fine! Everything's fine! I don't need to lay down and I don't need MEN. Because men are dumb, lying little shits who spy on you and hide things from you and call you beautiful.

[ was that the sound of a hiccup or a sob? better not ask her. ]

And-- and grow up to be Magneto, or Loki, or Kang the Conqueror or give up being superheroes because they're dumb and stupid and don't want to face the world!

[ a long pause, some slightly muffled voices, then... ]

Oh god, where'd you put the trashcan?

[ you see a hand cover the phone and the video feed shuts off. ]

 Hey.  

Are we still on for tomorrow?  I haven't heard from you all week.

If it helps, I can't lie right now.  I don't have to answer anything, but I can't lie.

Hasn't anyone considered shutting down their devices until this passes?

It seems like it would be the least damaging route for all of us.

... Especially given the game that just appeared.

Who: Loki, Loki and Tim i.e. "The Bad End" and some Aradia!! Luckily she misses the bad end.
What: Tim puts Loki in his bathroom prison. Other Loki is mad. Also some truth plot is going on just to make lives more complicated and maybe ruined.
When: Night of the 12th.

( whoops )

While we're all being honest about things, it seems like a good opportunity to further investigations. I'd hate to corner people but this is significantly less humiliating than any of the posts prior.

1. Have you been through things in my office?
2. Have you taken things from my office?
3. Who broke the Captain America coffee mug?
4. Who keeps taking bites out of things in the faculty fridge?

And more importantly:
5. What do you know about trading cards?

[This post is for AR bothering people during the event.

It's also cool if for some reason you want to text him.]

GODDAMNIT WHY AM I EVEN TRYING TO POST THIS MY FINGERS ARE COMPELLING ME TO GO ON IT'S LIKE I CAN'T STOP SPEWING FORTH EVERYTHING COMING INTO MY HEAD AND THERE'S A LOT OF STUFF IN MY HEAD THOUGHTS AND IDEAS AND MATH AND SCIENCE AND DERAILED TRAINS OF IT LEFT AND RIGHT

DEAR GOD SELF, SHUT UP

I'LL TRY TO KEEP THIS SHORT AND SWEET EVEN THOUGH SHORT AND SWEET HAS NEVER BEEN MY FORTE WAIT WHY AM I WRITING THIS IN CAPSLOCK HOLD ON

Better

yes

good

okay

class canceled until this is over and i can actually talk and filter myself like a decent human being oh who am i kidding i'm not decent i destroyed a solar system and i will be hiding in my room possibly covering my own mouth with duct tape for the duration

3.141592653589793 pi to 15 places good keep reciting pi actually a real pie sounds good

GOODBYE I'M GOING NOW

While these devices may be a more efficient means of communication than magic, and nowhere near as messy as firetalking has the potential to be, there are inherent flaws in their design. They are far too small, for one, and lend themselves to being easily misplaced. I suppose it will have its uses, which is more than can be said for most Muggle devices, but if not for the distinct lack of owls, I would not be so resigned to let it replace the perfectly respectable practice of letter-writing.

That said, the sheer amount of idiocy beyond the doors of that Muggle hospital is absolutely baffling. Never in my life have I heard such a ridiculous tale, which is quite a feat when one considers the many desperate lies told by Death Eaters when presented with anything resembling consequence. I have little tolerance for foolishness and will not be treated as either an invalid or an imbecile they assume is eager to believe stories that are clearly meant for children.

Writing on this fool thing is an exercise in tedium and a miserable excuse for communication, I might add. Quill and parchment would have been much quicker.

Who: Billy, Tommy, and dear old younger grandpa.
What: With the truth plot still going on, Billy suddenly decides now is the best time to return Erik's menorah.
When: January 12th.

( sorry guys )