[The feed blinks on, staring at a strange ceiling. A few moments later, a kitten... a kitten wearing a bowtie, actually, looks down at the camera, managing to look both intrigued and disgruntled. It gives a soft mew, shakes its head, and then... it speaks. English, somehow - though it's in a high, squeaky voice.] This is new, never been a kitten before! It's not as bad as it might have been. Mind you, doors are a problem. They're so... tall.

And it's not like I can carry the sonic or the phone with me, so there might be a problem there too. Fascinating experience, though! I just wish it had happened somewhere I could actually get out... [He looks off screen, and his eyes widen a moment. He seems to forget what he had been doing, and pounces at something off-screen. After a moment, the feed cuts out.]

Hey, so uh.

Loki offered membership to me, and I'll accept ... on one condition.

My friend Isaac gets to join, too.

I don't actually know why you offered me, but Isaac is someone I'd like to have by my side if I ended up doing this, so I figured I'd ... put it out there.

I guess I'd also like to know why I was asked, too. I mean, what people know and stuff. Sorry, it's not usually a thing I go throwing around.

At first, I feared speaking publicly due to the nature of this device. I am not unfamiliar with Stark phones, even if I have rejected Stark's offers myself. He insisted time and again that the intemperate conditions of my lightning-based power would not destroy the phone, but I have proved that is incorrect here. I destroyed the first that way. And then others from the "click of a button," as they say.

But Loki offered me the Package of Walrus to protect it. It is now doing a suitable job.

I speak to you today to inform you that Loki, no matter how old or how young, is my concern. He is a citizen of Asgard, and while Asgard is not here, those responsibilities remain.

But I do not only wish to speak on heavy matters. I come to recommend that you do not try mead and ice cream in your bathing compartment in your mandated living spaces. It leaves the most foulest of aftertastes. And smells. Aye, I did not think I could ever turn down mead. I have learned otherwise.

Last month, I considered teaching and I am still interested in taking on additional students, but this month and the following months, I would like to share with you the joy of things I've found here. I realize limiting myself is unnecessary, but the blogsphere of Earth typically necessitates some pattern, and I would like to follow that. Every month, I will share with you music I've found, but there may also be films, television shows, and even plays. Ah, the wonderful words of Oscar Wilde are best depicted through acting, even if I have not had the honor myself of witnessing The Importance of Being Earnest.

But that will come another time. Music first!

This month, I discovered the wonder of Johnny Cash. His most famous tune is Walk the Line, though perhaps that is because there is a film with that name. Many films feature this song in order to offer themselves some "legitimacy." It captures the truly masculine feeling of "Walking the Line."

To offer variety, I have further looked into the early punk genre. Tim Drake of the Brew offered me an insight to the Clash, but here is another addition to that genre: The Ramones. This is "I Wanna Be Sedated," which is again their most popular of songs, but it is difficult to miss.

As another genre switch, I have explored the many glorious tunes of the 60s girl groups, but I have broadened my horizons. I believe we should all be familiar with the 90s girl groups as well. They were edgy for their times. Salt-N-Pepa's Push It is an unavoidable earworm. They also provided sexual education lessons at one point. They were clearly a bold addition to the music sphere. After all, shouldn't we talk about sex when it is necessary?

Related to them is TLC, a considerably more talented trio also from the 90s. They also spoke about sex. Ah, but they had a dramatic turn some years ago when they lost their most interesting member, Left Eye. How unfortunate that she does not live on. But I do believe most are familiar with Waterfalls. If not, then that should change. This, too, is a thinly veiled reference to Earth-based sexual activity.

Finally, I have explored other openings of the Gundam franchise and I have decided I enjoy Uverworld quite a bit. They have also done openings for Bleach that are difficult to not enjoy. How can you dislike this?

I believe that is sufficient for this month.

[text]

Hello everybody! (^o^)/

I guess last time I didn't even introduce myself, oops! My name is Yukari. I arrived a little while ago, but it took a while for me to get set up with a proper apartment and internet connection.

Well... I'm almost 15 years old, I guess I'll be starting going to school again pretty soon, and I'm not going to really talk about the "You're fictional" thing more until I've had some time to think about it.

In the meantime, does anybody need any machinery or electronics repaired? I'm pretty good with machines, so it's at least something I can do for now.

So, I get this place is all hells of messed up sometimes. I can deal with that... but this?

[On-screen, Bro indicates up to the side of his head with one gloved hand. Poking out of his hair are a pair of orange and white striped cat ears, with tufts of black fur at the tips. The one he's pointing at swivels back independently of the other, out of the way of his finger.]

This is just fuckin' weird.

[He's trying to sound as if he's not tense or worried, but just a hint of it might show through, if she's very observant.] Aisling, how are you doing? I haven't heard from you in a while.

Who: Koizumi, Sheska, and later, Lin
What: Lunch and cat-like behavior, which is going to be awkward later
Where: The Police Station
When: Monday, July 26th at lunchtime
Warnings: snuggles

( just another day )

[the video starts and you can see a black cat wearing a blue ribbon tied around his neck facing you. he looks very serious, even for a cat]

Hello, everynyan. I see many of us have fallen victims of this terrible curse - luckily, I am familiar with the cause and effects.

I understand! Sometimes, even the strongest revolutionary has to take a dump on a cat's grave! It happens!!!!

Nonetheless, I know we will prevail through these trying times. Let's fight together, nyan!

[transmission ends]

Fuckin' cats. Fuckin' cats everywhere.

Who's responsible for this bullshit? Whose nuts do I have to introduce to their tonsils, eh?

If any of your furry little bastards even scratches me once, or leaves one stupid fucking hair on any of my shit, it's turning into a furry football.